Activist, Artist, Crash-prone Yogi writings & going-on's

hip hop reminds me of my strength to endure

2011-11-06T14:36:00.000-08:00

This is the start to my bizniss Monday mid day music mix...

I was trying to find another Zion I's song and found this, it was pretty timely I thought for a morning get me going song:

Boom Bap music blood is running through my veins, Doesn't matter what you think you can hate on me
I'm in deep too deep and the music taking over me.
never been afraid, ain't scared to make a change
Don't belive me you can kiss my Culot! (Latina roots yup!)
Run the rat race, just chillin.
Every stab that we flip gonna sharpen the mind.
I'm gonna shine regardless.
(Haha) Been burning incense, they try to call this yoga,

Thanks my homEs reminding me of my heart and soul now working it here in Seattle.

Remembering that with each prorgression of my self, there are obstacles, distractions, disturbances, and at the same time, gifts of beauty, kindness, generousity to support of the person that I am first and formost, my project is just a reflection of the support I receive along the way.

Takeover, Zion I

I open up my heart and let the soul provide. TakeOver...

OK so this was the song that I was searching for, was Juicy Juice - lyrics that say: We don't die we multiply, put you hands in the sky if you fill this fly. Oh how hip hop sings to my soul. Ha!

Juicy juice - I always thought it said Gypsie Juice - I think I like my crashlyrics best. I'm a gypsie for sure- feeling it back and forth between Phx to Seattle - west coast = best coast! Haha! I'm sending out shout outs to my gals from Tempe with love. White rabbits to you Jess, miss you gal.

Juicy Juice, Zion I

It's a rainy day here in Seattle, this potentially could be a drippy sad kind of day like so many of the grey skied days in Seattle should be right? Like some kind of a cliche ritual of depression setting into the hearts of so many Seattlites. People seem like they want something to complain about. Somehow though, the sun has surprised us snarky Seattliets numerous times this September into November months. The fear the the cold winters is upon us, and I have been in the darkness of the fall before, but this time I feel I that the sun still wants to shine through the darkness.

Thank you Seattle for encouraging my focus on the ever continual creative progression of self which I am experiencing with every cloud and ray of sunshine light.

Out of the blue, I think it must have been another Sherm Song to bring me back to musical awareness of present prayers to the universe. I get so up and down about life because of the gravity. The sadness surrounds because of life's past, but my present is a time to move through these past demons and express the past so it will be buried forever more and the future will shine on.
Hail Mary, 2Pac:

bow down pray to GOD hope he's listening.
lets go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman who SCREAMS!
dealing with fate, hoping GOD don't close the gate.
We've been traveling on this web we wove...

This is the beginning of my dedication to my art. I have been prepping, developing, researching, writing, crafting my craft. It is by no means acceptable by my perfectionist way, this blog, as been a forum for my silly thoughts and sharing what is often too much for an Email or FB post for any of the friends that actually want to keep up with what goes on in the mind of I.

ON a lighter note, I've been looking at life through the eyes of a child. When I have another day where I feel I just don't want to get up, that life is just too difficult to handle because of all the pressure I put on my own self, I will refer to this video forever more! Nothing like some beats from the best of them, Pumba and Timon! (life is supposed to be light hearted right? these guys have some wisdom!)

Home is where your rump rests - buuurrrrpppp!! haha!

Current Projects being developed. Check out these photos of my bungalow!

2011-11-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

http://ashavie.wordpress.com/healing-artist/yoga-with-asha/massage-and-yoga-package/

http://banyantri.wordpress.com/houses-hubs/banyantri-houses/

Decible Whirlwind

2011-10-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

The adventures of PHX to the street of Seattle during Decible have resonnated with me throughout the past month +. I was embraced once again by a white rabbit reminder during a performance one night at the Paramount, my Phoenix Friends guiding me through the streets which I've traveled for so long here by myself. I kept running into familiar faces, friends from past, at one point, I went to the ladies parlour, and seriously, two of my friends, came into the ladies one after another at that same time. This is what I call I'm awake but still dreaming.

Here's a few visuals to somewhat share the experience. Inexpressive with words. The sights the sounds and the magic all around. I felt the fire and the ice that night.

This night I ran into an old friend, one whom I feel like I have known for lifetimes, though we had only shared a Summer in Seattle. Like any old friend I was excited to see his face, to see the potential changes as we all have through a couple seasons of weather, perhaps wear, but mostly, hopefully, we see the beauty of each other once again in a unconditionally loving and kind space with genuine concern for our progression as a person on this path of life's experiences can show in the smile of our eyes and the embrace of our hands held.

What was different about this night was that I was in a state of heightened sensitivity to all that had been going on in my life for the past few months, and then on that night I came to an understanding within myself. Ironically my dad even called me while we were rock star preparing ourselves to depart the W in fashion's speed for the show.

I seem to flow each September through December in a similar pattern as the years go on. It is a common time for my attention to go inward, perhaps a lot like the weather here in Seattle. I am much like the gray skies and sunshine here. I'm unpredictable from one moment to the next weather I want to be sunny or cloudy, I offer fresh breaths of oxygen and enriched sights in nearly every diretion as long as I'm taking the time to appreciate all around me. I am strong enough to endure the changes of the season because I have been through this a time or two, it still is a slight shock to the system, and I oftentimes need to lash out in a heavy rain or two, but for the most part, I'm comfortable with sharing my emotions because they are what makes me so vibrantly creative and expressive during the moments and days of brilliant light.

With the love of my friends around me, this week of my girls surrounding me, reminded me that supportive root family is how we get through difficult times, together. These girls had to come all the way up to Seattle, to take me to Paramount, listen to Amon Tobin, and finally see the light that so many of my other friends have been trying to share with me throughout the many past years. I have been swimming in a sea of darkness. Some day I would need to choose my own path to move out of the darkness and into the light. It has been a long time since I feel like I have been surrounded by light and love, even though I spent 5 straight months in sunshine of Phoenix, somehow I needed the darkness again so that remember to go towards the light.

The words from this friend still come into my thoughts from time to time. He once told me one night almost out of the blue for it's prophetic wisdom at the time, I guess I just didn't realize the lessons he was trying to share with: go towards the light, for in the light there is no darkness. I'm grateful that the universe brought us together on this night to share another embrace and see his eyes smiling from within. Rise above, burn it down. Living Fire.

PHX came to represent in the Streets of Seattle

2011-10-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you my loved ones for continuing to travel surrounding me with your light and your love. I am so forever touched by the guidance of friends in this relm and the next. Natasha, Jessica, Claudia, you three ladies came up to shake some Phoenix roots back into my swimming fishy fins, reminding me to be embraced by the goddess energy all around (and even in the clouds!). I needed a bit of grounding from the desert because I have been soaring in the clouds up here for so long.

Here's just a few of the fun adventure shots (most of which were in the crash pad thanks to the W) and a few out and about. PHX representing in Seattle!

I needed the reminder to WAKE UP and get stuff started girl. Thanks guys and gals, you made Seattle warmer with your PHX sunshine. So much love to you.

Manic Monday Mix Tape

2011-09-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I don't realize the Sherm Songs until they are well into their space:

I was searching for YouTube video for a silly birthday gram, and these songs just started to play - how does it happen? This is what I needed today, musical therapy:

Bright Eyes: Here I come back, heavy love, someone gotta share in that heavy load, I'm never gonna move it alone.

Just this morning I was talking with a supportive loved one about being alone and working to make these projects happen, feeling overwhelmed with my continued aspiration for acquiring that next job, that hopeful career, that dream of success in my own art. Projects which weigh heavy on my mind and heart so heavythat I fall asleep dressed for the day and during the day I am dreaming. It is a bit backwards, or is it because I am living the dream right now? This is the storm before the calm, I've been in a whirlwind, dust storm, heat boiling, I've still got energy to move this forward.

Burial, Four Tet + Thom Yorke - Ego (New 2011 track)

Radiohead - Codex
It takes a note, a sound, the piano keys and the tones of his voice, to calm my heart. This song reminds me of driving with my cous at the beginning of my 30th year, freshly into my wanderings in pursuit of my mental clarity. This is an interesting thought, mental clarity,

Just Slight of Hand, Jump off the edge, into a clear lake, no one's around. Just Dragon Fly. The water's clear, says Thom

Sometimes I get so upset over the silliest things, and then a sweet person reminds me of the sweetness inside of me, through the simplest things, and I feel renewed.

The Shins

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Belong

Really, now this would only make sense.....lessons from the songs shared. Slow down.
Falling out of Reach - Guillemots

9-11 10 years later

2011-09-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Astral Travels thorough sound and space:

I'm so removed from POP culture, thanks to my 14 year old sis Jadey, I've heard this once or twice, lyrics of radio songs keep sharing the messages
[B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams or Paramore]

Can we pretend that Airplanes In the midnight sky
Are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)

Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’ and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion and all the pandemonium and all the madness

There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
When you’re staring at that phone in your lap and you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds: you get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel, and they sayin’ what would YOU wish for if you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late: I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight and I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night

Somebody take me back to the days before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank yeah back when I was tryin’ to get a tip at [Harlows!]
So here I stand and then again I say I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes?

i could really use a wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
like shooting stars
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)

The sound of planes still gets me every time. I live under the flight path these days in my little Bungalow, not too far from Boeing Field. The flights from Sea Tac start early, my morning mix tape sounds like this, yoga meditations on the front porch to the energetic movement:

10 years later.
It seems lately I've been doing a lot of introspection about the timeline of my life - 10 years ago I was 20. It all is relevant, we grow, change, experience new environments to live within and amongst new friends to create our present and future.

Right now I'm fascinated with timelines, perhaps because time keeps moving forward, and I'm oftentimes looking at the past trying to make sense of it all, and hoping for changes for the future, while maintaining the balance of life at present. This details the minute by minute of the events of 9-11 (copy-paste if you want to experience the jet sounds while reading on ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. I was trying to remember my own timeline of that day, waking early to start my new semester at community college, back at the fam's house after returning from my first adventure in Seattle from Feb-Aug 2000, it was another big transition for my personal life, and just when I was attempting to have some forward movement and progression to a stable live-work-play, the world's catastrophes seemed to be overwhelming me.

I awoke today at about the same time that I did that day, slightly still in my dream states not quite up yet to face the world. My radio alarm of NPR was blaring the news of the first attack so I flipped on the TV to see what this was all about. My friend Jess called to confirm our carpool for our return to college life- back at Mesa Community College, we rode together to our morning yoga class, in shock of what the morning had held., curious about what was going to happen with the day. It was one of the most emotionless yoga classes I could remember, that I don't remember it at all. I do remember the feeling of walking guiltily around the campus, as though my heart went out to all the other people who have had their lives shortened, turned upside down and affected in proximity to crisis, and the ripples felt beyond. My soul felt the loss that others felt, it was a bizarre sadness I resonated with in compassion for the suffering of others.

Waiting, but yet continuing on with the normal, this is a timeline of some events that were shortened by catastrophe, and others which seemed to continue on as life seems to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closings_and_cancellations_following_the_September_11_attacks

on a lighter note: how bout a simulation flight ;)

Remembering:
I was at my younger brother's ball practice- it was an evening practice, the parents (and supportive sister) were sitting on folding chairs in the middle of suburban bliss: green grassed flood lightened playing fields, watching the routines of their mini's doing what seemed like the normal thing for age 7-11 to be doing. The practice of whistles blowing and young athletes being corralled into organized competition was stopped by a sound which was gone from our skies for a week.

Time seemed to stand still for some, waiting in anticipation, fear of the next, etc. We were all there. For me, the sound of the first plane to resume flying, became one of my most cherished sounds because of this pivotal moment. Everyone on the field stopped in their space. We all stood up from the chairs, raised our heads to the sky in awe that the same craft which knocked down buildings, and knocked down our personal safety walls, was roaring through the sky again, in a sort of victory that we will rise above once again. No surprise that I had returned to Phoenix, during a very pivotal time in not just my own life, but all those around me.

The past 2 summers here in Seattle, the SeaFair is marked by the Blue Angels flying throughout the city for about 3 days. My house rumbles and shakes under the sound of this beautiful meditation from angels above:

As I continue on, as we all continue on, there is a motivating force behind all of our actions. These events took place out of planned, premeditated anticipation. Right now, this song resonnates so strongly: continuing on, not letting anything stand in our way of making it happening.

I fly like paper, get high like planes.
Sometimes I feel sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner now we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler, making my name
Sticks and stones and weed and bones

Life is a Full circle.

no surprises..

2011-09-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

coincidences? all coming together. dreams. reality. make it so. and so it is.

this is my final

Sunday Funday-start to the week meditations

2011-08-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my Sunday Funday around town:

The Seattle Summer sun was shining, though as it sometimes is for my days, my morning felt a bit foggy. This week seemed to whirl by me, with lots of confusion: starting with the loss of my phone for since last Thursday up until this Friday, I was back to feeling completely out of communication with the world and most especially I felt the distance from my roots of "home".

Once again, I have left my roots to be in another space in time. Now more than ever I am slowing down to appreciate my current existence, no matter the time nor location within which I stay in that space, I strive to maintain a moment focus in all the activities of my awake and sleep states. Cherishing the sunrise, with the loved ones whom i explore the light of the day, the sunset, with the loved ones who will walk along side or sometimes from ahead guiding the light through the darkness of the night breaking through to daylight (I think I heard lyrics like this from a Coldplay song).

It has now been a month since I've returned to Seattle: back to wandering and exploring this incredible city. I have been remembering the past every day as the future comes into present. The five months of March through July were spent reestablishing "home." The time I was in Phoenix seemed to also whirl by: mostly because I was constantly on the go, sometimes riding here and there on my Raleigh Robinhood [which kinda looks like this Thanks to homepage.ntlworld.com I couldn't find any pic's with me on my bike!] I was active in being inspired by the creativity that was all around me through the continual production of each of my loved one's current life's art. Working on the ever continual project which I have now come to visibly able to share with my confidants and now the interwebs in the infancy stage of development.

I have been working on lots of projects throughout all of my life, never a dull moment or free time to reset. Most especially during this last year, I have been obsessed with the production of my current project and the present artistic creations. I am continuing on my dream of the past few years, enjoying now that these dreams are somehow coming to a present space. It is almost like I am living in my dream land: as if it is the reality in which I live - does this mean my dreams are coming true?

It was quite the wake up call, being back home. My friends and loved ones, how can I even begin to write my thoughts and the experiences of the past few months to express my gratitude for the hospitality for a weary traveler: a bed, hammock, and pool patio furniture to rest my head under the desert sky. For the companionship along a street wander through downtown, a bike ride, or late night car ride with our mixtape dj lady cab driver.

I had missed the feeling of being loved by my "Phoenix Family" which I was embraced once again by my loved ones back in Phoenix. I am blessed by my family of the phoenix arts community who shared the desert as their roots of being raised in the dry and ever intense sun. We are bound, just like the love of my blood family, to each other in our similar upbringings, the environment which encouraged our curiosity to quest and inspired and our creative flow: the passion of their truest soul.

I went home for my 30th birthday, March 9th I arrived, and the next day I awoke to go run on my favorite mountain of the South Mountains for a birthday grounding in the Vortex of Phoenix. Although I knew people typically place so much attention on the birthday factors, I personally made it a quest for myself to place attention on this day because I was prepared for the changes that needed and are currently are in transition from happening currently. What I set out for experience while in Arizona was not anything I could have planned for, so I just went with what I had to share of my past few years experiences, and the honesty of my complete brokenness and desperate need for my family and friends to remind me of my core. Somewhere, somehow, I had lost the remembrance of my roots: that fire within which the bird Phoenix was thrown and from whence it came, rising from the flames, blackend as a reminder of the experience. I somehow lost my personal passion after the first year which I was here, eeing life through different lenses, but so similar to the ones through which I came here looking at my environment with the eyes of a child, innocent, naive, pure, unjaded by the knowledge of my adult self. Now it seems like I am finding this purpose once again but at the same time, I realized that the experiences of the past few years have actually been teaching me lessons to grow and learn from, essential for my next adventures. I understand growing pains now, stretch marks and scars. They all tell the story of our past into present internal growth which shows on the physical appearance. Sometimes I feel like I haven't changed a bit since the girl who was 15, 15 years ago! I am so grateful for my little sister gave me her hand-me-down orange booty shorts and I put these 'cause I wanted the vitamin D to soak up into my as much skin as much as I could have it. I rode my bike from Columbia City up to Cap Hill, through downtown and around the Hemp Fest madness, over to Ballard Farmer's Market, and magically teleported back home.

This was today's mix from earliest songs to the pre going out on a Monday night. I'm trying to get some work done but keep getting distracted by the music all around me. I have to write the musical messages down and maybe share a video or two....

Lauryn Hill-Adam Lives in Theory
Chrisette Michelle -I Am
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Raheem DeVaughn- The Love Experience
Sly & Robbie - Murder She Wrote
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic

Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad

I loved real, real hard once, But the love wasn't returned. Found out the man I'd die for, He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man And if you've ever been in love, Then you'd understand
What you want might make you cry What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it, If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it, If you just let it

See, I thought this feeling It was all that I had
But how could this be love And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power, I existed for you. But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man. And if you've ever been in love you'd understand

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?

Mad Cobra- Flex

Michael - Billy Jean
She Was More Like A Beauty Queen From A Movie Scene I Said Don't Mind, But What Do You Mean I Am The One Who Will Dance On The Floor In The Round
People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do and Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts. Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love and Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth. So Take My Strong Advice, Just Remember To Always Think Twice. Do think Twice

Anthony Hamilton - do you feel me

Sitting at Vitta tonight for my 8:30 PM cup of joe to wake my mind to creativity and production, I hear these once very influencial pop diva songs of my aspiring

When this album came out - i had a tape and would listen to this in headphones for my lullabyes. talk about early rock "star-child" Sam would call me Starchild when I didn't see myself the way others did, I'm not sure if I even know this starchild inside, but the pieces are starting to make sense as the years go on.

Madonna - Starlight Starlight

It's no wonder that most of the people I spend my time with now are children of the MTV 80's-90's pop culture. Watching Madonna videos was like going to church for our generation's religion. When this video came out, I remember being in a frustrated position from the division of my childhood by not only a divorce, but a loss of the roots in my life which held me to my personal core. I, so to speak, grew up in maturity and lost that innocent glow as young as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, my knowledge of heartache and loss through the transitions of our family, impacted me more than I realize in understanding relationships at an early age. Somehow, the years are reteaching me what it is to have a relationship and who I bring into my life.

Madonna- Like a Prayer

God?

When you call my name, it's like a little Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your Power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there

I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing. I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like Flying. I close my eyes, oh God, I think I'm Falling, out of the sky. I close my eyes, Heaven Help me.

Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control just like a child, now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me, it's like a dream. Let the choir sing.

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like Home.

Riding my bike yesterday through the Central District off of 18th I passed Reverend Ricky Willis's congregation singing praise his words, I first stopped to take a picture of this church, then heard the message he was sharing. Thank you Jesus, I have heard the words.

I remember that my mother went to the En Vogue concert and brought me back a t-shirt. I felt slighted, and offended that I was "too young" to go. I think I knew my sensuality at a very young person. This was just another moment in my growth as a girl into a woman.

Madonna- Rescue Me:

Adele -Chasing Pavements

Whoa I've never seen this video until I heard the song and Utubed it - no wonder that I thought of this song recently as I was walking through the streets of Seattle, "hitting the pavement" for yet another attempt of finding that "dream" career.They are dancing in a groove of trees. Hum, this is another white rabbit if you ask me. ;)

When I moved here nearly 3 years ago in September, I came with my newly acquired paper of degree, a year of exploration of the globe, and years of exploration of my mind, body heart and soul. In search of a new place to lay my head at first, and hopefully my roots through the newly acquired professional life. I told myself I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I wanted to focus on my career, on finding that perfect position in the nonprofit sector. I put off developing the relationships with loved ones for the past 3 years. Because of the time being back with those who know me truest, I have a refreshed understanding of what my focus is at this time in my life.

I keep to my silly girl roots, with a wealth of experience and understanding brought by the loved ones, heartache and the renewal of life through the loss of these loved ones turned into an experience to appreciate. Gotta keep it simple and have fun with my life while I'm living it.

A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum

Erykah Badu - On & ON
Musiq Soulchild - Who Knows

Salt n Peppa-
It's time to go out atain with the roommie - here's another for the diva anthems.

Heading out into the Seattle Supersonic Spaceplayground!

Remembering that I gotta keep my head up, 15 years later in life, still feeling age 15 and reminded by these early roots of hip hop.

Robots

2011-08-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

Attempting to stay focused while my loaner Toshiba reminds me that it's been a couple years since the last computer meltdown and Now is the time to uP grade! Oh robots how you rule our lives!!

A little Flaming Lips to sooth my technological troubles,a fittin Sherm song over the cafe's airwaves.

Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body

'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me

Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

summer adventures with my daddy

2011-08-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

Blowing Dandelions with my nephew Koston last summer was the highlight of my summer. Simple things in life ;)

That's me sad face blowing dandelions found off the road during an adventure with my daddy and the mad man via Utah country backroads

Sherm songs

2011-07-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

As I ordered my Americano to sit for a while at Fremont Coffee Company, on this rainy day July 17th, the first few words that came across the speakers brought streams of tears down my cheeks. These songs came across radio waves today, I call them my Sherm Songs.

Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.

I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.

Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.

This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.

I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.

When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.

Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.

But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.

Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.

I guess we'll just have to adjust.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

You'd better look out below.

Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.

I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.

So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.

Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.

I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.

As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.

Good morning rainy songs

2011-07-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

This morning I awoke with a beautiful friend. We have been soul sisters since we met15 years ago. This was one of my most favorite songs with I was just a young thang, still feeling the melody, the echo of the voice gives me tingly back and happy belly feelings.

Another white rabbit song coming through pandora, words of wisdom this morning, reminding us of the past, looking forward to the future. Remaining focused on the present.

2 years ago tomorrow I lost a dear soul mate, I feel his presence in the present, he is with me always, just as my dear ones still on this physical plane: when we are seperated by distance, spiritually we are together.

So grateful for this beautiful moment in time.

Explode like a Star in the Sky

2011-06-14T08:28:00.001-07:00

Explosions in the sky
"The Only Moment We Were Alone"

This song. This video is exactly what I see and feel when the chords and tones ring through my head. I think one of the first times I truly listened to this song was with a new loved one who reminded me that listening to music is being present in the moment, that taking long drives to the suburbs calms my racing mind, and sticking my head out of the window to watch the sun, the trees, the mountains go by during a car ride enlivens my soul. I am here right now, I am living in the present, enjoying all that is around me and all who shares creativity, love and support during these pivotal times in our lives.

"Nothing hurt and everything was beautiful"
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut

Loving what has come from the past, accepting the changes and moving forward. I am forever grateful for the loved ones in my life who remind me of my present and encourage my greatness. May I continue to radiate that same love and support to others in my life.

Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand In Mine

For a very long time I have been saying that at some point when I have done all that I am here to do, I will explode like a star in the sky. Perhaps with a little more yoga, and a mountain top ;) Until then, I'm here to do grand things ;)

Explode like a Star in the Sky

2011-06-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Explosions in the sky
"The Only Moment We Were Alone"
http://youtu.be/nzj-ksNOMfU

This song. This video is exactly what I see and feel when the chords and tones ring through my head. I think one of the first times I truly listened to this song was with a new loved one who reminded me that listening to music is being present in the moment, that taking long drives to the suburbs calms my racing mind, and sticking my head out of the window to watch the sun, the trees, the mountains go by during a car ride enlivens my soul. I am here right now, I am living in the present, enjoying all that is around me and all who shares creativity, love and support during these pivotal times in our lives.

"Nothing hurt and everything was beautiful"
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut

Loving what has come from the past, accepting the changes and moving forward. I am forever grateful for the loved ones in my life who remind me of my present and encourage my greatness. May I continue to radiate that same love and support to others in my life.

Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand In Mine
http://youtu.be/36U4ez7AzKA

For a very long time I have been saying that at some point when I have done all that I am here to do, I hope to explode like a star in the sky. Perhaps with a little more yoga, and a mountain top ;) Until then, I'm here to do grand things ;)

Radiohead - Kid A - Treefingers

2011-05-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you Tatyana for the inspirational installation this past weekend at Bragg's Pie Factory http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127421603998682

looking forward to time to meditate under the tree to this song soon.

Radiohead is my Religion ;)

Planes, trains, busses and high fructose corn syrup

2011-05-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

For the past 3 years of travel via planes, trains and busses, I have come to understand a humanity which understandably is guarded for personal protection. In Seattle, at the bus stop, I read a "how to ride safely" signage: one of the most important deterrents they suggested was by the encouragement of headphones. It was all news to me- don't get me wrong, I love my music and zoning out when I am on the bus, though I can only think of all the sounds I miss while riding on the bus, exploring the ever inspiring cities. We are all in our bubble, head bubble. The people we meet along our travels on our many paths are for a reason.

Thank you to my friend Silvano who has traveled with me in India's buses and rickshaws. We smiled and talked with others on the bus, and we didn't even speak the same language ;)

Tout va pour le mieux dans le métro de New York

DJ Shadow - Midnight In A Perfect World

2011-04-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

Midnite to sunrise, in the city. inspiration to continue forward.

Musical thoughts

2011-04-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

I've never seen the video before now, posting it now so I can watch it again and again. Love this song, beats running through my veins.

Just feeling like a Diva this morning.

2011-04-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Dancin in my hallway, singing in the shower. Ate fresh picked grapefruit from my tree in the backyard, lots of beautiful friends and family. Creativity is the force!

R E S P E C T to the utmost:

Be the Change You wish to See in the World

2011-04-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Gandhi's infamous quote is engraved on the pendant which I wear around my neck. Ever grateful for the reminder.

A few videos that came across the Facebook land recently:

Spreading light through music:

I keep on keepin on ;)

Full Moon a coming!

2011-04-16T02:14:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling it, of course, the full moon approaching. I am female goddessness and the tides are pulling this restless fish back to her ocean home, with every phase of the moon's monthly change, so do I feel my energetic pulse.

I'll be doing yoga this coming full moon - April 18th on the hills of the Papago Park preserve, directly off of College & Curry off of Scottsdale and the 202.

It is a Monday evening, so I'll be gathering for the sunset yoga from 6 till sunset, then meditating to the rising moon thereafter. If there are any other events around town to celebrate the full moon, I'll be finding them ;) Otherwise, there will be full moon dancing and hiking, perhaps a potluck of generous treats to share for all who want to participate.

Here's a big more info about this moon's phase!

I found this site MoonTracks to follow the moon phase, I sure love this gazing into the night sky, becoming mesmerized by the guidance of that big ball in the sky.
http://www.moontracks.com/monthlymoonphase.php

Just as relative is the moon to the sun, this month with the sun in Pisces then Aires and moon in Virgo, we are embracing a transition into a Libra moon, continuing on with the Aires sun into Taurus.

To read more about it, I like what Astrogrrl posts on her blog following is a little snippet and if you want to read more, the links are attached below.

The sun's influence this month: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/03/sun-in-aries-march-20-to-april-20-2011.html#axzz1Jg0K6Kn8

What does this full moon bring for this month?

Full moons signify the completion, culmination of what may have been initiated during the previous new moon in Aries which encouraged us to just do it! This Full Moon in Libra casts a spotlight on our relationships (with one another as well as with ourselves), our value system (what we value in life and why), and our worth (materially and spiritually speaking). In our relationships with others, the Libra-Full Moon may be shining upon issues about balancing the identity of the individual self with the shared self -- being in relationships without losing who we are and being brave enough to be in relationships without compromising our core values or silencing our voices/desires for the sake of another.

Elsewhere in the sky during this full moon, Saturn (reality/commitment), who is also in Libra, is locked in a challenging alignment with Mercury (thought/communication) who is in Libra's opposite sign, Aries. Both planets are retrograde (introspective). We may very well have love and relationships on the mind -- the relationship we have or wish we had, the commitment and hard work that goes in to a fostering healthy connections, and/or how our relationships have changed us -- for ill or for good.

Read more: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/04/full-moon-in-libra-april-17-2011.html#ixzz1JgE0Iuyz
Original content by Jan | astrogrrl
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives

late night Sherm songs

2011-04-15T03:10:00.000-07:00

So as I lay me down to sleep.....
or sit in my bed, with thoughts that are running through my head
creativity comes to me in the late night, obsession about projects and ideas keeping me up till the early morning light.

I call days like these my white rabbits, (and will be posting them to that site, just a bit TMI for this post I think) All of the people that I somehow come into meeting and the experiences I have are reminding me that I am living presently and on the path of where I need to be. So grateful that I am surrounded by incredible artists, musicians: all creatively inspirational individuals. `I know like attracts like, but also I know there is no coincidence for what I have gone through, the people whom I have opened my heart to sharing myself with, and vice versa. I reflect on the full of life experiences that I am continually surrounded by my soul family consciously collective loved ones. in this constellation of a not so vast universe.

These songs are what I call Sherman songs. Oh Sherm, how I love your presence. At present, I have yet to share in this blog a playlist of my beloved singing to me from not so far away though most of my inspiration for writing these days comes from reflection on the white rabbits in my life. I'm not afraid to share them now. In the beginning, I knew it was him. Days after his body passed from this earth, I couldn't stop noticing the coincidences of the songs which I would hear driving in a car, then out at a shop, or when I was at home with my random player pulling up songs so closely related to him. I started to understand it was not just coincidence. I would share with friends and family that Sherm was talking with me and I'm pretty sure everyone thought it was just more of Ashley's talking crazy talk.

Expression of our talents is endless with support from those who appreciate the arts. Today was especially inspirational for me. During the day I met with my musical friend, his inspiration is fueling some current projects. I am so grateful for this present moment when my teter is moving from the past to the present moment mark and further to the other side of the tipping point. My evening was spent with friends at the RawArtist event downtown, supporting the gathering of musicians, artists and how we all collectively gather to appreciate art. Thereafter in my late night owl times I went to a neighborhood gathering amongst one of my most favorite groups of living artists who unite every week at the Blunt Club. Tonight, was a special evening where I felt the outpouring of love in support of a child Noah Stout. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=137627986310669

How blessed I am that I am embraced by the unconditional love of a friendship with so many special people, my Tempe-Phx brothas and sistas, a family constellation within this graspable universe.

OHere's what came to my ear waves at the end of my. I like to read the lyrics or just close my eyes and see the light of the stars align amongst the darkness of the inside of my head.

Radiohead Polyurathane

Go.
Disjointed we scare ourselves with all that we wanna be.
Just got paid and now you’re going, how long should you be?
If I get scared, I just call you.
And i, miss your glow as I unsettle,
Oh I’ll always feel, I’ll always be.
Right.

One, two, three, four.

So sell your suit and tie, and come and live with me.
Leukemia, schizophrenia, polyethylene.
There is no significant risk to your health.
She used to be beautiful once as well.

Plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene.
Decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean.
If you don’t believe in it, sell your soul.
If you don’t get into it, no one will.
Oh...... oh........

Yeah Yeah Yeahs Runaway

I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want keep you inside

Run, run, run away
Lost, lost, lost my mind
Want you to stay
Want you to be my prize

All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Hold on tight.
All along, not that strong without these open arms.
Lie beside.
All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Ride beside.

I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want to keep you inside

At night they would go walking ‘till the breaking of the day,
The morning is for sleeping…
Through the dark streets they go searching to see God in their own way,
Save the nighttime for your weeping…
Your weeping…

Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, hey…

So we rode down to the river where the toiling ghosts spring,
For their curses to be broken…
We’d go underneath the arches where the witches are in the saying,
There are ghost towns in the ocean…
The ocean…
[Cemeteries Of London Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…

God is in the houses and God is in my head… and all the cemeteries in London…
I see God come in my garden, but I don’t know what he said,
For my heart it wasn’t open….
Not open…

Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…

Singing la lalalalala la lé…
There’s no light over London today…

Beetles Don't Let me down comes on directly after Cemetaries of London by Coldplay. Really Sherm. I start to feel like: "what?!" what am i supposed to do with this? I know, mon raison d'etre, l'amour de ma vie, in my life we shared the most pure love. I learned how to love unconditionally when you shared your life and then your death with me. I am reminded that as I settle my head into my pillow, lying in bed with memories, every person whom I have shared my heart and soul with, knows me this true, though i have never experienced such a loss, as loosing the life of my dearly beloved Sherm.

When I need to bring it all back to center, music brings me there. It reminds me that my connection to spirit is beyond this earth oftentimes, and before I explode into the sky like a star (something I've posted many a time previous to this), I will meditate on death, then on life.

Karma Police:
Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in myths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio

Karma police, arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo is
Making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us

Karma police
I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

Endless tears come to my eyes as I hear the words which are so true of the past many years that I have been in search of myself, lost myself, and just when I feel I have found it again something devastating happens, I loose a soul mate.

The years past have been difficult to get over, and daily I work on myself through yoga, healthful foods, and hopefully surrounding myself with people who respect and support me because they know me true. When I return to the center of Tempe amongst my dear friends, my soul brothas and sistas, it hits me that I know I am not alone, even amongst a crowd of people sometimes I feel alone, though Sherm is always with me, as I am always with others in physical presence, we are all together in spiritual presence.

A day filled with new opportunities as I continually find myself amongst artists and musicians, I am reminded that this project BanyanTri is being supported and will continually be supported by others because it is organically already happening http://banyantri.wordpress.com/banyantri-houses/ By sharing space and appreciating the talents through supporting events around town, we continue to support the artistic community. This is what I am here to share and do, I am ready.

This day and night has come to an end as I finish writing these words, expressing what was on my mind, and letting it rest. I am excited for the projects that are budding right now during this beautiful sunny spring time in Arizona. I will accept the time it takes for them to come to fruition, with effort, then surrender.

If you can, lie down and meditate to this one with your eyes closed. Let the wave of sound rush over your body and take you to a higher place within the connection of spirit.

Explosions in the Sky The only moment we were alone

women Wo Man

2011-04-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

I am going to a gathering for women this evening, and my task was to bring something that signifies womanhood to me. When I think of what it means to embrace my feminine energy or bring something to the table so to speak, my mind threw a blank. It is difficult to describe with words what I live throughout my life as a woman.

What is it to be a woman? I question this fairly regularly. Mostly because I have now entered the next decade of my life, no longer am I in my twenties. I am a 30 year old woman. Younger, early twenties-somethings call me 'maam, but don't worry, I get on my soap box of what a woman should be called, I prefer madamoiselle or chica (both which oftentimes have a more sexual connotation so not to be concerned, my feminine activist self is not encouraging the slang use of the words, I find it kind because of my experiences when I was traveling in Ecuador and Argentina: shop keepers and cafe servers would greet us with Hola Chica! I loved that!) Lioness.Queen.Goddess. Sister. these words may better embody the female I am true

Oh this woman. Ms. Badu.

I am surrounded by women. I surround myself with special women, those who have gone through life experiences and who are able to share what makes them vibrant. I feel blessed by each woman who I am fortunate to have in my circle of soulful goddesses.

Presently, I live my life knowing the strength because of my past struggles that I have risen through all the difficulties. Here are just a few female artists amongst many who at one phase of my path to a woman, inspired me to keep going forward.

If you know me, you know my love for Beyonce, isn't this how we young females were all influenced, by the pop divas?

I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor,I'm gonna make it,I will survive, and Keep on survivin'
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity

I forgot the influence this song had on me when I first heard it, though it wasn't until I started to grow my dreads that I understood what hair meant to me. We will see how this all plays into my book someday ;)

I am not my hair, I am not these clothes
I am not your expectations, no
I am the soul that lives within

She has been with me since I learned about my love for music, and my talent of playing the piano has been influenced by Tori since, I am forever grateful for this woman in my life. This song, cliche and popular as it has been over the years, was what helped me to open up as a young teenage girl, budding into being a woman. No longer am I silent all these years. I have been a woman with my voice since I could speak, no one has ever been able to silent this voice, nor will I ever be silenced again.

Oh Ani, how you have connected me to other women in my life. And now I understand your influence in this realm as a female businesswoman, I can continue with strength and determination, believing that my dreams will come true with effort then surrender. When I need to come back to myself, I listen to this song.

i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to

everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry

and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know

i do it for the joy it brings...

Learning about love, this song reminds me of my truest ability to love unconditionally. Thanks Ella.

i heart Tempe-Phx

2011-04-04T02:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple! Lots to catch up on, been super busy on my project BanyanTri
http://banyantri.wordpress.com/the reason and purpose unexpectedingly yet anticipatingly for this next phase in my life and the path I know I am taking.

Lots of White rabbits lately, so gaining a lot of material for http://whiterabbitwanderland.wordpress.com/ but still not quite ready to let it out of the bag yet. I still have some things to think about on this one.

As for the collaborative process, it is incredible how many of my beautiful soulful brothas and sistas have been coming out at night and finding me amongst the healing skies of the desert we are all interconnected! I have missed the sounds of the train, the beats bopping all over that remind me of the soul of the heat of the desert. I am so blessed to have been back in town for this past 1.5 weeks in Phoenix once again, and now I am already in full force with the BanyanTri projects.

Of course for First Friday art walk in downtown Phoenix, my involvement as a wanderer of the arts for the past 10 years has been transformed into an active participant within a space. Check out what the Women Living With Purpose were up to this past First Friday art walk downtown http://www.facebook.com/womenlivingwithpurpose We started the night off casually with only a few of us, and with expedient female energy we transformed the house into a fluid home to visit by many of the art walk. It was an experience having been created by little hands and feet, a lot of intention and a forward hope for the gathering of numerous people within this space.

I love my Tempe roots to this BanyanTri Life I live! Last night I was a part of a "family dinner" amongst old and new friends. In Seattle I was creating a "family dinner" with those starting intentional communities in the same way. I came to Phoenix with the understanding that my roots are planted here and these are the dear ones of my life. Now having reconnected with so many loved ones, and then embracing the new connections created during the past 2 years in Seattle, I am reminded that I surround myself with others who are also on the same vibration of spiritual consciousness. This gathering inspired the next project I'm going to be producing in the next couple days I'm super excited to be putting my energy into a positively interconnected arena of active and involved friends and family. I'll be posting for this event to come via the BanyanTri page...so stay tuned!!

This gathering reminded me of the gathering I had just experienced amongst new friends in Seattle amongst the friends of the Citta Crew http://cittaflow.com/ who are reminding me that the intentional communities I have began to connect with in Seattle will be there when I return, and that it is through effort and my intention that we can continue to make these special locations thrive.

I am so grateful for the many kind and loving eyes during this time back home in AZ. I have forgotten the unconditional love shared through the love of music amongst friends, in support of these talents we all embrace, sun worshiping daily via bike rides and patio sitting, which is why I'm back here, to remember. I am overcoming the gloom of the winter holding others' hearts hostage during the deep Seattle Freeze and hope to bring back the light and energy of the Valley of the Sun!

transition from moon in Leo and sun in Pisces to full moon of Virgo and sun in Aries

2011-03-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

Soaking up the sun in San Diego with the full moon rising above in the sky. This transition into the next decade of my life has reminded me of the continuous path of maintaining creativity while living life presently with joy and light.

My questions are subsiding as I am coming into the seat of magnitude that once seemed like such a daunting endeavor with overwhelming tasks I have set for my own higher expectations of self.

The past few years have taught me lessons of continuing to live this life, even when it seems like there is nothing worth living for. My goals and dreams are oftentimes the only thing I have to work towards, and even that seems endless or beyond comprehension. I am reminded of the simplicity of life and how all will happen in due time.

Effort then surrender. Bottomless darkness and eternal sunshine.

This month has been a time for reflection for me personally because of my birthday and this time in my life. I have taken a much needed reprieve to the south during the end of the winter months of the Northwest. Feeling depleted of any nutrients, not only for the lack of vitamin D from the cloudy skies, but moreso from my sleepless nights for the past three months, I have been obsessed about this current project in my life which is finally moving forward, even if it is at a snail's pace.

I am grateful for the continued reminders, white rabbits if you will www.whiterabbitwanderland.wordpress.com that i am continuing on the path of least resistance and the one which I am paving the way for my future.

This full moon represents another month gone by, one of great influence on the present time in my life, and the future to come, with hopes for a continuous healing of the past relationships and experience impacting this lifetime.

Astrogrrl explains the Virgo Moon:

On the last day the Sun transits Pisces, the Moon waxes and becomes full in Virgo. Full moons signify the completion, culmination of what may have been initiated during the previous new moon in Pisces which encouraged us to get in touch with our 'higher self', show compassion, and seek the truth that lies deep within our heart and soul. During the Pisces-New Moon, the North Node (life path) aligned with Neptune (enlightenment) and Uranus (awakening). Their alignment remains strong and is joined by this Full Moon in Virgo who squares the North Node, opposes Uranus and is quincunx Neptune.

The Virgo-Full Moon picks up where the Pisces-New Moon phase leaves off. The heart (Moon) may still be meticulously processing (Virgo) what might have transpired over the past two weeks, but the soul (Sun) seems to 'understand' the 'truth' without the need for words or logic (Pisces). Harmony and balance between intellect/intuition and being practical/having faith will be necessary to make the most of this full moon phase. Those who feel like they're at a crossroads in their life might experience the impact of this Full Moon in Virgo stronger than most.

Read more: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/03/full-moon-in-virgo-march-19-2011.html#ixzz1H1yYcYRE
Original content by Jan | astrogrrl
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives

http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/03/full-moon-in-virgo-march-19-2011.html#axzz1H1xuuQr7

This continual observance of my self and the conscious awareness of moon pulling on the inner tides of my ocean reminds me to go with the flow of the current. I am grateful for the continued experiences which bring me closer to my inner self, the light above, within, and all around.

Blessings to all in this time of world devastation disaster and disillusion. I hope that through living life every day, being the change I want to see in the world, my influence in combination with other's dedications to a greater cause will be be even more than my intended dreams of grandeur. Speaking about dreams, i'm off to connect with the stellar universe of thought. yum!

photo credit:
http://www.cute-calendar.com/event/full-moon/5960-eastcoast-usa.html

30 years on this planet

2011-03-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

Well So 30....

Much anticipated, and much appreciated. Working endlessly for my dreams, sometimes on a special day, all i needed was to relax in the sun. and i have a sun burn birthday gift to enjoy all weekend ;)

Thanks to a dear piscean friend, this little tidbit of info was sent my way today, sharing the thoughts of encouragement on the endeavors ahead.

http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/pisces.html

Pisces Horoscope for week of March 10, 2011

"Good things may come to those who wait -- but they're mostly just the things left behind by those who hustle and bustle." That message was in the fortune cookie I got with my Chinese take-out food tonight. It happens to be a perfect fit for your current astrological omens, so I'm handing it over to you. In the coming week, I don't recommend that you sit around patiently and watch how the trends ripen. I don't think you should bide your time or be cautious in making a commitment. Be proactive, Pisces -- maybe even gung ho. Carpe the freaking diem.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

* SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Contrary to what some translations of the Bible say, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I am Looking forward to these focused and continuously active motions towards productivity and eventual blasting into the sky like a star...

Thank you to all who have supported me throughout these many 30 years of life. I have been led, carried, held, sometimes pushed, encouraged and supported by many many throughout these times of great ideas and intuitions, loony thoughts and dreams. I am forever moving forward with my host of angels both past and present.

I look forward to our continued movement forward and the involvement in this present life as artists, healers, brothers and sisters. May you feel of my continued appreciation and love for each being in my life.

Thank you for shining all over me.

Banyan Tri - rising like a Phoenix from the ASHes

2011-03-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

[IMMEDIATE RELEASE: CALL FOR ARTISTS]

BanyanTri Concept & Call for Desert Dwellers of Phoenix Arizona: We are gathering as Healers, Shamans, Gypsies, Warlocks Wizards and Faeries within the healing and creative arts

Concept:

Currently my projects for BanyanTri are going full steam ahead. Here are just a few teasers of images I've been producing in effort to get this concept off the ground.

[Why a call for artists:]

This effort is inclusive to all artists, creators healers within the Phoenix community. You are an integral aspect to my development as an artist during the 10 years + of my involvement in the Phoenix, Tempe music and arts community.

I have been planning to come back for my birthday weekend celebration and am now getting the ball rolling for another shift in my life. I am planning a week event starting March 10th-March 21 to end the Piscean Sun for 2011.

I have been working with fellow artsy friends on developing an initial collaboration for this month and although I haven't sent any information on facebook as of yet, the seed was planted years ago, without effort, in the most organic of ways, through sharing the beauty of life through the expression of art and music.

This post on my blog is just simply to put it onto "paper" if you will, into the universe, actualization of the thought concept so that the collaboration with my numerous desert dwellers can continue to ensue. I am initiating this concept with only a select few artist friends whom I feel have been integral to my development artistically on this path during the past 5 years.

I am now working to collaborate with Phoenix artists during the Month of March to get my organizational concept off the ground, then hopefully return to Seattle when the time is right to continue with the concept through the new found support of my Blessed Coast creative and righteous children with the roots dug and developed in the valley of the sun, rising like the PHOENIX from the Ashes

further information to be directed to the new new blog site:
http://banyantri.wordpress.com/

Re: "Fish Out of Water Piscean in Phoenix"

Alexi Murdoch - All my days

2011-03-05T23:16:00.000-08:00

going home, turning 30, changes of life

OF COURSE it is a Piscean New Moon - Friday

2011-03-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

Thank you Astrogrrl.com once again for the reminder, and allow me to further your message. With my personal pivot point of transition, I embrace the Piscean new moon. Duh, it all makes sense now...

On March 4 at 12:46 p.m. PST / 3:46 p.m. EST, the Moon begins a new cycle with the New Moon in Pisces. New Moons signify rebirth, beginnings, a clean slate, the start of a new cycle. This new moon highlights Pisces qualities (imagination, compassion, enlightenment, sacrifice) and 12th house themes (secrets, subconscious, addictions, institutions).

Pisces is natively ruled by Neptune, who is now in the last degrees of Aquarius after being in the sign since 1998 and the North Node (life path) is harmoniously aligned with Neptune on the day of the Pisces-New Moon. In Pisces, the Moon intuitive, spiritual, insightful, hopeful and attuned to the energies beyond the physical and mental realms.

The Pisces-New Moon (blending of heart & soul) occurs when a majority of the transiting planets are also in Pisces, along with the Sun (soul) and Moon (heart) -- Mars (motivation/action), Mercury (thought/communication) and Uranus (revolutionary/awakening). With so many planets in Pisces during this New Moon, getting in touch with our 'higher' self is a great way to make use of this New Moon phase.

Whether it's tapping into the spiritual self, our intuitive abilities, being more compassionate or giving more focus to causes/people outside our own personal world, let this New Moon in Pisces inspire us to seek the truth that lies deep within our heart/soul and let that truth become integrated to how we live life daily.

Read more: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/02/new-moon-in-pisces-march-4-2011.html#ixzz1FXiC3zWN
Original content by Jan | astrogrrl
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives

photo credit:
http://cosmicpsychic.com/2010/03/12/new-moon-in-pisces

Creative, Healing Artists

2011-03-03T04:50:00.000-08:00

you're connecting out there.

I've felt the energy from so many people at this time and although I am a bit detached these days in physical space, I'm reminded that the energetic stream of light is bright within us all, which is never lost. I have been calling out to many of my healer friends these past weeks, now I am ready to come back to connect in close proximity.

It must be the Leo moon and this conjuncture with the Piscean sun energy, I'm convinced! So much is shifting i feel. I am embracing that I am an open vessel through which positive light and love is being shared outward. I have been sharing this in my own special way and creating much these days.

Feeling the Creative and Healing Artist alive within and expressive outward.

I am preparing now to tip off the teeter, just one more piece of the puzzle or feather for weight to impact my tipping point.

Bless this bliss!

Musical credit, MS. Erykah Badu - The Healer

Shiva Ratri

2011-03-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

Shivratri and Amavasya (No Moon)

The significance of Shivratri is closely associated with ‘amavas’ - the no moon night or full dark night as per traditional Hindu Calendar. Amavas symbolically represents Kaliyuga or spiritual ignorance. Lord Shiva appeared just before the beginning of Kaliyuga to rid the world of evil and ignorance. Therefore Shivratri is celebrated to get rid of evil and ignorance.

http://www.hindu-blog.com/2009/02/shivratri-in-2009-maha-shivaratri.html

photo credits:
http://cosmicpsychic.com/2010/03/12/new-moon-in-pisces

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

2011-03-02T04:17:00.000-08:00

It is one of the most influential person's in my life's birthday, and it is no onder that i have been off in my la la land all week doodling, dabbling, tink-tonkering too. My wigits and what's its are being tweak twokered till the tweet twitter twat takes my thoughts to tippity top.

I'm honored to share month of birth with such a flip flopping red fish blue fish one fish two fish of a Pisces.

Here are some images I have created recently in excitment for my holiday back to the dessert, away from the blessed coast

Lianess former life, deep soul embodied by a Mermaid

2011-02-27T05:17:00.000-08:00

Posted this to my Facebook, had to continue it on in the Blog land, feeling the strength of the Leo moon. Lianess. Remember my strength of the inner feminine essence of which i live my life sharing throughout my days and my nights.

Blessings to all the Mermaids and Mermen, and all you other land creatures!

This comes from the blog www.Astrogrrl.com
http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/02/jupiter-square-pluto-february-25-2011.html#axzz1FXoHozcA"
: so grateful for the guidance through these sleepless creative nights of Piscean sun energy in connection with the Leo Moon

Jupiter (expansion) square (in conflict) Pluto (elimination), the final bout. This week, Jupiter, who has returned to Aries after revisiting Pisces, and Pluto reconnect once more in the form of a square -- a challenging, dynamic energy of conflict in order to find a resolution.

The first time their square perfected was July 24, 2010, then following Jupiter beginning his retrograde cycle, they squared off again on August 2, 2010. During that time, 2010's Cardinal T-Square was in full force. The t-square players were Saturn in Libra, Jupiter/Uranus in Aries, and Pluto in Capricorn as the focal point of this powerful planetary alignment.

It's been some months since their last meet up. And this time around, there is no cardinal t-square in the background, it's just Jupiter and Pluto fighting it out on February 25th. Perhaps issues now are reminiscent to events of that July to August period in 2010. Maybe it's a chance to complete what was begun/introduced back then or takes things to the next level. But it's also just as possible that there's no connection between what's happening in your world now that links to that time.

As written on previous posts,

Jupiter represents good luck, joy, expansion, opportunities, higher education, and personal growth through our interests, experience and spirituality. He also governs publishing, travel, foreigners and exposure to other cultures. At best, Jupiter brings a wealth of knowledge, understanding, growth, opportunities, as well as financial gains. At worst, overindulgent, excessive, wasteful and unable to get past "dreaming" of the possibilities.

Pluto represents rebirth, regeneration, and transformation. He is our compulsions, obsessions, ability for control, and empowerment. Pluto gives us the power to tackle obstacles in life through deeply understanding our situations, which results in our letting go and being transformed in the process. Pluto's process usually brings endings, purging, destruction, complete annihilation of what no longer works before a renewal can occur.

As Pluto transits signs, he moves through our natal and solar houses affecting our lives slowly, subtly but with glaring, remarkable life-altering results. Pluto currently moves through Capricorn, where he is ambitious, pragmatic, and determined. Pluto in Capricorn represents social status, public life, reputation, hierarchies, and established government. Globally, Pluto's transit in Capricorn until 2024 may bring changes in government systems, restructuring of proven but antiquated methods, issues with security, and the like. Expect these issues to be extended to our personal lives -- how we feel about security and what makes us secure; a look at what we do, hold on to, practice, believe in that no longer reflects our current life, our present self, our present drives; establishing or reevaluating of our goals/aspirations and taking steps toward achieving them.

Jupiter square Pluto is an opportunity to challenge what has been the norm/the familiar and improve upon what no longer serves through elimination of the old and adoption of the new. Although their square peaks on the February 25th, the weeks approaching and following this day are also influenced by the energy of their alignment.

Jupiter gives the optimism to fight for ideals/aspirations; Aries gives the courage and strength to push fast and hard; Pluto purges and focuses on putting an end to what no longer serves; Capricorn represents the status quo.

Read more: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/02/jupiter-square-pluto-february-25-2011.html#ixzz1FXhdF2sD
Original content by Jan | astrogrrl
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives

white winter wander with soul travelers

2011-02-25T15:19:00.000-08:00

This is a snipit of what I experienced last night in stellar universe of thought, meditation
Before I started listening to the song numerous times in repeat (yes, I couldn't get enough) I was writing and wandering in the astral thoughts as I was up late into the starry skied night, took a hot shower and went swimming in the ocean of my bathtub.

Piscean energy is intense for me right now.

A newly connected soul traveler who had been reminding me of my path all evening, shared the gift of Phaeleh, my tech savvy ness (ha!) needed a visual so I went wandering again. I really just liked these images of meditative photographs of light and love:

three moons

I am a cat by my animal affinity, a black cat comes and visits me in the mornings after I have been roaming throughout the stellar night. Perhaps I was a black panther in a past life! I am a lover of the moon in all of it's glorious phases, wandering outside to see the stars and the change of the moon lit sky. I am also a sun worshipers, active in my days as much as my night.

I have recently found comfort in the creative inspirations of others who share the night owl night. Together we are the creative brains which spread consciousness and positivity to all. We soul children shine bright because we are the light of the day and of the night

wow....i'm so flying in the stellar universe right now, So entranced by the energy of the stars, this shit is from the universe kids, no Hallucinagena, no Herione, this is the creative brain working on continual inspiration from the divine nature of the heavens and the earth with upon which we are grounded, rooted in our community through the union of sight and sound, touch and taste.

yes. i just went there.

For the past many months (well and basically my life) my mind has been on the stellar travels of connection with the cosmos (that was a shout out to the pops)

I've been calling these similarities of my experiences during the past many months, my "White Rabbits" I have many people who I share these silly antics and concepts with, wondering what is the meaning behind the similarites. Do you see the connections? I am so aware and presently connected that this place in my exhitance has not just been to the white picket fence life, although ironically my little bungalow has a white picket fence!

I am accepting now, I am awake in my dream land, I am awake during the day, the sun shining the moon shinging oh how I love these white rabbit moments in my life

Honesty with another person can sometimes be so difficult. As I share these thoughts with others, i verbally share what just simply comes to my mouth, I oftentimes don't filter, and I wonder why I am so comfortable with being honest.

My dear soul sister reminded me once again of the beauty of our truth our inner honesty with ourselves and with those around us. She selflessly and completely open with me shared that she is working currently to be honest with herself about the stories she has told herself to believe. WoW, what courage to share that we have been creating and forming a false truth with our lives.

I find that when I am too truthful with others, they do not want to hear the truth. The opinion that I share is based on my experiences in my life, the lessons I have learned through hardships and triumphs.

These opinions (based on my personal experience) are to simply share with others what I have gone through, this experience is unique to only me, or perhaps amongst the present friends, and loved ones, we have not shared the same karmic path within the same lifetime. In history of time, I may have experienced these same hardships and until I change the course of my actions, my beliefs and my interactions with others, I will continue to share lifetimes with the connected soul travelers, reminding me to heal from the past and stay present in light and love for the present.

eternal soul

Because of our past, we create our reality of our present. At present we can work to take control of our involvement in life and how we impact others through sharing truth.

I know it is through the inspiration of my past beloveds, life experiences shared while in love with others or sharing love with others, that I learn about my own path of karmic resolution.

I know that even when the body passes on, the soul is still with us. My beloved Sherm is continually with me, reminding me of my connectedness to the spirit that is present on this earth as well as the spirit inside all of us beings. The spirit which has moved on in physical form but is here continually despite the physical loss of the body.

I have traveled amongst these souls remembering that we come in and out of eachother's present life to remind the connected souls that we are all in this together. In this lifetime, I am your friend, in the past perhaps I was your lover, or we were koalas as friends hanging out in a community amongst the eucyluptus, just enjoying the endless sun and plentiful leaves of plentitude, breathing in scent of a tree, starting as a seed, somehow planted by the hand of the universal bounty of plentitude to flourish a new intentional community upon the pysical plane of exhistance earth.

rooted in the ground, offering blessings of health and happiness through the offering of a leaf, an herb to be blessed by the sacred gift of clarity through consciousness.

Thank you to all of my soul travelers reconnecting me to my past through the white rabbit reminders at present....I'm connecting with all that i have been and all that I am here to be. no new start. just being.
Taking control of the elements, making it mine, making it mine
Touching upon the elements, taking my time, taking my time.

btw. why does there always have to be a love story video to the songs that sing to my heart?

soul connection through the sound of music
....Thank you for shining all over me....

white rabbit wanderland

2011-02-23T14:24:00.000-08:00

White Rabbits......
.... they're everywhere

wan·der (wndr)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanderer
v. wan·der·ing, wan·ders
1. To move about without a definite destination or purpose.
2. To go by an indirect route or at no set pace; amble: wander toward town.
3. To proceed in an irregular course; meander.
4. To go astray: wander from the path of righteousness.
5. To lose clarity or coherence of thought or expression.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/wanders

reality

Definition: facts of existence
Synonyms: absoluteness, actuality, authenticity, being, bottom line, brass tacks, certainty, concreteness, corporeality, deed, entity, existence, genuineness, how things are, like it is, materiality, matter, name of the game, nuts and bolts, object, palpability, perceptibility, phenomenon, presence, real world, realism, realness, sensibility, solidity, substance, substantiality, substantive, tangibility, truth, validity, verisimilitude, verity, way of it, what's what
Antonyms: belief, fantasy, hypothesis, imagination, theory
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality

my new blog soon to come......

white rabbits are my reality
www.whiterabbitwanderland.wordpress.com

Cinderella - Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)

2011-02-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

Pretty sure this video/song influenced my early concept of holding on to anything during a transition, i think i may have been age 7:

What can I say but that i am a product of the 80's ballads of heart-wrench (that's right, i thought i made this up from a connection of my verbally challenged words in usage but alas wordnik thank you: http://www.wordnik.com/words/heart%20wrench)

at this pivotal point in my life, at yet again another restaurant gig, white rabbit experiences and my eyes continually opened, sharing joy amongst new coworkers once again through the stage of the industry: i am grateful for this moment in the time.

my long haired formon friend, your words resonate through to me like divine inspiration, truthful and piercing, oh how we find fellow sunbeams now embracing the light within and all around!

you will be missed in my every day presence of the hustle and bustle, though i look forward to the prophecies to come wise one

Om namo guru dev namo
i honor the teacher within you

Circle of Light & Love: Full moon in Leo, transition to the Piscean Sun

2011-02-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

under the moon lit sky, in the northwest night, shared a howl amongst new friends round the smoke of a circle fire.

I breathe my arms wide to the open sky above, giving thanks and reverence to the bright full ball of overhead light. Restless nights, early morning awakeness, sun rising as i lay my head to dream slumber.

I have been embraced by this transition of the moon's energy, finding the many meanings to this current phase of the moon and sun cycles.

As I gathered amongst friends past and friends new for a celebration of signs in the Freelard neighborhood, thanks to hospitality of Brian Cisneros, I was once again inspired by a night of music, creative costumes and shared lore!

I searched for clarification of why numerous creative minds have been collectively gathering in my path throughout these past few days of full moon nights and found that as we leave the new moon of Aquarius, we are now embracing the present full moon in Leo:

http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/02/full-moon-in-leo-february-18-2011.html#axzz1EPT12zGt
The Moon waxes to full on February 18 at 12:36 a.m. PST / 3:36 a.m. EST. Full moons signify the completion, culmination of what may have been initiated during the previous new moon in Aquarius which encouraged us break away from old ways, bad habits, unhealthy ties, and seek a new way of being/living/seeing/thinking/interacting. This Full Moon in Leo dares us to be courageous enough to walk the talk ... live the dream.

Thank you Jessi for your early evening shared healing through the tarot. This site speaks similar truths of the relationships of the past which impacts our present.

http://www.kelleyrosano.com/archives/1236/
continuing in duality (I am right/your wrong, good/evil, black/white and I win/you lose.) Is the old energy and will not lift you to a higher consciousness approaching 2012. Remember that, it takes two to keep the flames of fighting going. Don’t get entangled in other people’s addiction to drama, band wagons of hate. Let it go. Rise above

As for my ever focus on healing form the past and moving forward to the future, I am reminded by this site
http://virgomagic.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/leo-full-moon/

The part of the body ruled by Leo is the heart, and this Full Moon wants to break our hearts open — not to destroy us, but to dissolve these old wounds of separation. If we can open to the feelings that arise and allow them to flow through us, rather than closing our hearts to the pain, the fire of the heart can burn more brightly. From this heart-centered place, we can see with innocent eyes, opening new possibilities for inspired action.

I love what this site says about the full moon of this February as it relates to the cold Winter.
http://moontides-mxtodis123.blogspot.com/2011/02/full-moon-in-leo.html

February 18th full moon is also the date of an auspicious Buddhist holiday, Magha Puja
http://mundoexchange.org/2011/02/magha-puja-magha-puja-or-makha-bucha-day/

Friday 18 of February signifies the Magha Puja - Fourfold Assembly or Sangha Day. Marks the day Buddha addressed a meeting of 1250 arahants. The spiritual aims of the day are: not to commit any kind of sins; do only good; purify one’s mind. Magha Puja is a public holiday in Thailand, Laos and Cambodia – and is an occasion when Buddhists tend to go to the temple to perform merit-making activities. This National Holiday honors Buddha and his 1st teachings 9 months after his enlightenment. It is believed that on this day the Lord Buddha taught his ways and ordained his first disciples. Thais and volunteers often celebrate by going to a local wat or temple. At sunset Thais light candles and incense and circle clockwise around the main temple,meditating on inner peace, good thoughts, and good ways.

I am ever grateful for the shared creativity and looking forward to the Piscean sun sign with the middle of February passing and the new month of March my birth month.

http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/02/sun-in-pisces-feb-18-to-mar-20-2011.html#axzz1EPT12zGt
on February 18, the Sun leaves cerebral Aquarius for spiritual Pisces, where intuition and insight sometimes rule over logic and reason. The Sun transits Pisces until March 20th.

My little white rabbits tell me this teeter is about to catapult something forward and i am actively involved in the effort, then surrender to what lies ahead.

Continually grateful for the sound of musical beats, creative minds and the sharing of open souls.

photo credits:
http://www.kelleyrosano.com/archives/1236/
http://virgomagic.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/leo-full-moon/
http://www.dailyhoroscope.com/horoscope-headlines/leo-full-moon

I heart NPR & PBS

2011-02-15T13:42:00.000-08:00

Just Signed Petition to stop the House from cutting NPR and PBS. Cutting funds for these programs which inform our public of current issues & increase knowledge from age 0-100 is an attempt for governmental control of our media resources. I do not support the House's decision, please sign this petition to ask our current house not to cut these programs. Thank you! Pass it along!

http://pol.moveon.org/nprpbs/?rc=fb.5.fb.share.5.taf.alt.5

Nirvana Day

2011-02-08T08:07:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 8th of February is Nirvana Day, also known as Parinirvana and is celebrated by some Buddhists on February 15th. Nirvana Day is the celebration of Buddha's death when he reached total Nirvana, at the age of 80. http://www.godweb.org/Buddhist_Calendar.htm

photo credit:
http://www.buddhaofcompassion.org/taiwan_ongoing_events.htm

Encircled by the New Year's Full Moon

2011-01-19T08:07:00.000-08:00

A monthly balance of the full moon is a special time cherished with every moon I can remember. Whether I be encircled by the women's groups which I was so blessed by Shenayda's healing reiki, (thank you continually Shenayda for your inspiration and astrological influence in my life past and present http://www.shenayda.com/about/
)

Alone in my northern land of Seattle, I embrace this time to reflect on myself and the month past, while preparing for a new month to be present in my endeavors.

Having recently found this website, I just adore the Astrogrrl's postings on this site, such fullness of thought, worth checking out for this January Full moon in Cancer:
http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/01/full-moon-in-cancer-january-19-2011.html#axzz1EPT12zGt

One of my many goals with this new year is to present links and support the insights of fellow bloggers, with respect to their shared sites I will provide snipits on my blog, giving the entire link and photo credit for these found sites.

I look forward to sharing these discoveries with you all

photo credit:
http://acelebrationofwomen.org/?p=39894

where has the year gone already?!

2011-01-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

So i never make resolutions for the new year, but this year, I have been telling myself I will be better at...

...keeping in contact with friends and family
.... telepathy and dream talk isn't getting through I guess.... i better get a data phone for facebook status updates

....accepting that facebook is overrunning people's minds and actions so instead of a coffee date/lunch date/ anything face to face.... i am giving into a data phone

.....updating my blog
.... first post 1.14.11

....going to bed before the sun rises..... it's 4:45, i think I still have an hour!

oh the obsessions of an artist/ entrepreneur/ silly person. I'm looking forward to beaches and endless sun, in the meantime, I'm continually pressing forward to make things happen...

I have spent the last week of my return to Seattle from a much needed 3 week holiday with family and friends to refresh and renew, and get sick too getting back to health and back in a schedule, I feel kind of in a daze, so many things happening so quickly and in so many directions.

Change, continually happening.

I'm at the tipping point of the biz thing, I have a project in the present continual works, and I can feel it is getting closer to the time when I can actually believe what is in front of my eyes, no longer a dream or a hope, but an actualization.

KIT for further info!

Warrior Diva since 1985

2010-12-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

today I rediscovered my inner self

influenced at an early age, or perhaps encouraged at an early age, to be my strong, determined, independent self fighting against darkness and swirling in the sky with a flying white horse. Oh how some things we don't realize about our path manifest later in life, even some 20 years later, the message is true:

Children have wisdom, listen. Children are light, see.

Previous to the multiple life experiences which were in the path to my existance, I had that inner soul fighting to be a warrior in a childs body. Now I have a somewhat grown-up body but I still feel so much like a child, embracing that inner child I maintain my inner strenght.

Thankful for this remembrance via the campaign to raise awareness against child abuse from Mashable.com - Facebookers Changing Profile Pics to Cartoon Characters to Fight Child Abuse.

Those who know me true, know my determination to focus on this issue in the only way I know possible - to spread light and love to all compassionnately so that those whose hearts are hardened by past experiences, current struggles, and future anticipations can feel support and care.

Masters of the Universe Unite!

the city is closed, go sledding!

2010-11-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

I love how this city closes down with snowfall! This was from the SDOT gov website.

Basically, they should post, the city is closed, go sledding!

Latest Road Closures
Updated: 11/23/10 1:30pm

Please Note: While some streets may look OK now, we are anticipating that the streets may have areas of black ice later today as the temps drop. Depending on time of update, this list may not be comprehensive. Please use caution and common sense.

1700-2200 block E Madison Street @ 19 ave e/boyer av e
E John St / 12th Ave E to 15th Ave E @ E Mercer St/12 Ave E to 13 Ave E
E Union St/16 Ave to 18 Ave @ W. Dravus St. / 20th Ave W. to 27th Ave W.
6th Ave S. / Yesler Way to S. Main St. @ NE 51 st & Latona Av NE
Denny Wy / Melrose to Stewart @ 23rd Ave E Alder St
Marion St / 1st - 2nd Av's @ NE 50 St & University Wy NE
NE 54th St / 20 Ave NE to 22 Ave NE @ NE Northgate Wy / 23rd NE to Lake City Wy
NE 75th St / 25 Ave NE to 30 Ave NE @ NE 65 ST/25 Ave NE to 30 Ave NE
Eagle St/ Western to 1st Av @ E. Thomas St. / Melrose E. to Bellevue E.
Cedar St / Western to 1st Av @ E. Mercer St. / Melrose E to Bellevue E
Vine St / Western Av to 1st Av @ E. Roy St. / Melrose E to Bellevue E
Blanchard St/ Western to 1st Av @ Bell St / Western to 1st Av
Wall St / Western to 1st Av @ Dravis st, from 20th wb up hill
Queen Anne Ave N. / Roy St. to Galer St. @ Denny Way /Westlake eb
Lenora between Western / 1 av @ e marginal wy s/s michigan street
S Holgate Bridge/Beacon Ave S to 8 Ave S @ S McCellan St/23 Ave S to Rainier Ave S
Olson Pl SW / SW Roxbury to 1 Ave S @ W Charlestown St / 46th Ave SW to 47 Ave SW
Highland Park Wy SW / W Marginal Wy to SW Holden St @ 600 block Madison Stt
Lenora St between Terry Av & Denny Way

Bus Riding and Sunglasses

2010-10-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

The past summer months have taught me a lesson about spirit. I have become more consciously aware of the influences of the spirit all around me. It has been an awareness I have known at numerous times of my life, though until the year where I have devoted myself to the inner visions (thank you Stevie) of the essence of life and spirit of consciousness, now more than ever, I understand the spirit within and all around me. This spirit within us is spreading out to others all around us. We share this light and all are connected to us regardless of the space within which we share.

A while back I would wear my sunglasses to shade others from seeing my eyes. I began to realize how easily people could see into my soul; how at one glance I am an open book of truth and light that through my eyes I allow others to read the series of novels of my life.

It can sometimes be a dangerous or treacherous adventure, because of the potentially harmful and unsafe environments I sometimes find myself within. Riding the lucky number 7 at 2:30 in the morning, when the few companion’s minds have been predominantly influenced by crack, alcohol and/or starvation. Fortunately not only my sixth sense can deter me from their unconscious being and shelter my sensitive consciousness from being impacted by their presence.

As I literally do yoga in the streets- waiting for the bus, I spread my arms wide to the sky above me, embracing the light above my head and breathing deeply enjoying this beautiful connection to the spirit, I know that I may look like a crazy person. Some people pass by and smile at me, others have this concerned look like “what the hell is she doing?!” and others laugh or honk as a ridicule.

The reaction of others are okay with me: as for how I feel about other people’s perceptions in my life, I no longer need approval for the way that I am. I learned this lesson back when I was in junior high. There is an intense social system trying to impact how I am “supposed” to interact with others, how to “fit-in” socially. In some ways it wants to govern how I am able to share my inner light with others, or how I personally feel about myself, because of the acceptance of others. Oftentimes, some may not understand other’s ways of being, creative expressionism, or simply their style. The initial perception is based solely on one’s appearance, then actions, speech and thereafter interactions with others, but if we have not taken the time to communicate amongst each other, prejudegements miss the inner being of a person.

I know that I live my life I have maintained connection to the spirit which guides me throughout life, no other person can understand this unless there is complete compassion, nonjudgement, and acceptance in the truest and most unconditional love.

Light shining from the sky above me, clouds surrounding the entire day, but as I embrace the consciousness, it seems that the skies open up and I am constantly surrounded by the light. Thank you for shining all over me, he once said. Go towards the light, for when you are in the light, there is no darkness. I keep you with me always as I have been sharing light and love from a far though I know you are with me always.

Day and Night

2010-09-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

I am constantly processing this life, my mind is churning at all hours of the day, observing like a child who has just seen something for the first time, felt the breeze on her face for the first time and it took my breath away- thinking – what was that?!? Being a bit shocked and a bit thrown off, I don’t know if I’m supposed to cry for my caretaker to consul me, or if I am able to adapt and understand what that stimulation was – like child development concepts.

Life is continually changing and we are continually evolving, with each next experience, of every day, as long as we are being aware and conscious of the changes within and all around us. I am embracing the changes with arms spread wide.
Embracing the sun as it rises every morning, as I go outside to see the light above me and feel it on my skin, despite the temperature, I can embrace the sun in front of me. How I love the activity of the day, constantly moving, so much going on all beings feeding off the energy of the sun.

I can embrace the day as it continues to move forward into the evening. I am grateful for this day which I was fortunate to share it with others who are alive and experiencing life. Then I embrace the sun as it sets in the evening, allowing for the darkness to come and the day to be finished, we can embrace the evening night. This is the time which I enjoy most for it is here that I can retreat back into my solace, into my quiet place if I want to.

Family dinner at 8: sharing a meal and a special company. Perhaps afterwards, enjoy entertainment by music, dance, culture, and all the enjoyable things which we do to express the experiences of the day. The activity only stops when we have had too much stimulation for our upright selves.

Then I can appreciate the other activities which may happen during the occasional late night witching hour, and perhaps after a bit of wandering in the aloneness of the night as a song sings of this oddity: “the lonely loner walks the street at night, toss and turn, can’t seem to ease my mind, a a at night.” After the activities of the day have subsided, I catch myself up late into the midnight hours, past then to the early morning; this special time is when the creativity of my inner soul comes.

In between the space of darkness and light, once I am well and tired, is where I find myself retreating to this special place of union, resting once again in connection with my world of unconscious thought and travel.
I embrace all of life. Darkness, light and the silence in between

Summertime Writings: Watching Boats pass on a sunny day

2010-09-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

“Commitment” is the name of the sail boat that I first noticed passing as I stop to appreciate its wonder. I am sitting at the Burt Gilman off the canal writing in enjoyment for this present moment. Watching the boats pass and hearing the waves of the Canal which connects the ocean water of the Puget to the Lake Union. All in front of me are people enjoying their summer Sunday on the water. I love this town I love the water!

“Alliance” is the name of the ridiculously large yacht that I see empty of any person and feeling overly large and useless of space. I remember the overly large homes of my up-bringing where I felt the coldness of pretentiousness and the need for bigger and better. I am disgusted by this mentality of motion and engine gas guzzling power which doesn’t seem fun for anyone but the two people on the board. I am baffled that two people would imagine that this ginormous rig is essential for enjoyment. I wonder with a name expressing association and coalition, how they interpret their involvement with other people as they are not in any way intermingling with another water friend other than dominating space.

A father and his two young boys with their trusted hound putt by in the smallest fishing dingy and I see joy. I feel that he is imparting an experience of wonder to these children. To them, joy is simply to be on the water, watching with wonder. Not needing to be in the largest boat on the water, no yacht could bring them closer to the flowing water of the small fishing boat where they can reach their hands outside the boat and feel the water rushing through their fingertips.

The other large boats are a potential hazard. Someone could fall off the side and be mangled by the propeller of the engine. Get too many large boats together and they have no maneuvering ability causing a potential problem of collision. Watching boats passing I am reminded of the simplicities of life.

I enjoy the company of the duck and talk to him in my Donald Duck voice as he passes by.

Blackberries, a fruitful season

2010-08-31T16:46:00.000-07:00

So on my way from the bungalow to the bus I found a patch of blackberries. Ripe with the end of summer heat I came to an understanding that a few days previous, 6-year-olds were sharing with me. A simple thought but it seems to be a poignant analogy for the present. The sweetest, most juicy berries in the patch are the ones that are hardest to reach.

The juiciest berries are the most difficult to reach because you may get scratched or pricked by the protruding thorns, but eventually the joy of attaining the berry is sweet in your mouth. This as well is not long lasting. Eventually the berry will be consumed and the sweetness will be swallowed, no longer on our palate. We may remember the berry and want more of it – like the little ones who were sharing the joy of picking berries with me the other day. Their hands full of berries they could no longer hold, yet continued to pick “just one more” and each time, it was one more, then one more. We eventually had no space to hold berries without spoiling them to waste along the ground. The cup became full, along with our bellies. At the moment we no longer could reach for another, when the juiciest berry was furthest from our reach, we simply had to give up on wanting what we could not have.

Even though the sweetness was enjoyed in our mouth, no longer were we interested in the flavor, as we had had too much to stomach. We enjoyed every moment of discovering another sweet spot, reaching out to find the perfect ripest one, sometimes getting pricked by the protection in the process, though grabbing for more until eventually we were full.

Presently, the only berries left on the vines from a season past are rotten now with over ripened mold and the summer days have turned into the fall: a fruit bearing vine is now simply an invasive weed. Those special tangy treats were delicious while they lasted and now we must relinquish the moment to appreciate a season of sweetness it was lovely and delicious while it lasted. May we now appreciate the fruitful offerings at present?

I appreciate the moments I am able to share with children in my presence. I feel of their light and their connection to the energy of the light above and all around us. Any person who shares the connection with children understands that it is a space where we once were as a child: exploratory and free, eyes wide open to all that is around us. Staying close to that light, to that inner child, there is the connection to the divine. Embracing the passing day with arms wide open and seeing all that goes on. Open to all fruits of every season.

End of Summer Yoga with Ashley

2010-08-17T23:54:00.000-07:00

To all the Cats and Dogs who love to do Downward Dog and Cat alike~ I have some fun yoga concepts to introduce around town and hope you can join in when it works for you! Also, I'm sub-teaching at numerous studios so KIT via facebook for updates if I send out a last minute change to my schedule!

Matisyahu at the Moore

2010-08-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was like going to the temple, or synagogue of higher consciousness. I went to hear and dance to the music of Matisyahu. Such an incredible upliftment of light and love via sound.

These past months, I have been so fully focused on the spirit which is all around me, I am in such a different mind and body space than I can remember from the past. I have been on my path of continual self development, every day meditating, working more fully for the goal ahead of me, while trying to remain present in all that I do and all of the people sharing their presence with me.

I have cherished those who have come into my life, on this ever continually changing path to learning more about myself through other's influence. Most recently, it has been so aparent that all who are coming into my life at every point in every day, are coming for a greater reason. I have been open-eyed with astonishment that each time I am graced by the presence of someone for even a short moment, such as a conversation on the bus, or catching eyes as we pass along the street, I know it is a gifts shared by those influenced by the spirit within and all around us. I am acceptant of these lessons and I give thanks to all who are sharing the light and love of the spirit.

At this moment, I am in gratitude once again for the sound of music, the dub base which reverberates through my ears, my stomach and my chest. I give thanks to the honesty and the beauty of this musician who has shared his path of struggle and triumph with us all through his music. Like this song's lyrics, I feel the spirit in my body, in my chest like lightning.

To those who are continually sharing this light and love, I welcome you into my life at present for all the gifts I will share with you and embrace the gifts you share with gratitude and love. May my loved ones from paths and lives past if we have departed, continue to come back into my life at present, I welcome you with open arms, heart, mind, body and soul.

Yiggi Yiggi yo! Yiggi Yiggi Yo!

http://www.matisyahuworld.com/

King Without a Crown Lyrics:

See you're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
So sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights ya burnin' up all through till twilight
Said, thank you to my God, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my God, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my God, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
You got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high, ya bound to stay low
You want God but you couldn't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy, and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from God you say he couldn't be found
Searching up to the sky and looking beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
You keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my God, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a skylight in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being and I
Sing to my God, songs of love and healing
Yo

I lift up my eyes where my help come from
Seen it circling around from the mountain
Thunder!
You feel it in your chest
You keep my mind at ease and my soul at rest
And I look to the sky where my help come from
Seen it circling around from the mountain
Thunder!
You feel it in your chest

Say thunder, you feel it in you, i feel it in you
Thunder you feel it in you, i feel it in you
Thunder you feel it in you, i feel it in you

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
I give myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my God,

early morning awakeness

2010-07-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

So this morning I awoke 2 hours before my alarm with a more clear mind than the fog I am used to finding myself within. This awake-ness is uncommon to me at any time that I am brought back from my dream world. An urgency to come back to ground, but nothing pressing to do, no commitments to others or myself, other than to start my day.

I began my normal routine:

walk like a zombie to put a pot of water to boil and start my day with a cup of tea
roll around on the ground a bit *my version of morning yoga and a poor girls’ massage
open the blinds to the light of the sun,
light the floral incense sending my prayers to God within and all around,
rock in my chair which rocks,
tap the singing bowl which sings,
guide the wind chime to meet the other hanging limbs of former bamboo trees, *grateful that they are now a part of my home so far from their former home
open my door facing East to start my day on the mat giving namaskara to rising surya
feel the sun rays warmly on my fingertips as the energy flows through me
give thanks to this early morning

Thank you for this early morning
for it transforms the *stuck which I feel each day I awake, into a reason to continue forward on this path

Thank you to all my spirit guides whom I may not know of you from this lifetime, and have forgotten from the many lifetimes we have traveled together. Thank you to my ancestors for planting your seed which continues to grow through me. Thank you to my family who has been through the years of this lifetime with me, and for the wisdom of my grandparents past and present. Oh sherm, thank you for visiting me in the morning of my early awakeness, for the songs you share and continue to speak through to me. I know you are with me in the night when I am alone, when I sleep we meet up again in that etheral world of consciousness, and when I awake, I know you continue to guide and protect me as I travel through this human existance. Thank you to the children who bring shining rays of light back into my life to remind me that we are connected to God. When we honor the presence of the child, there is no difference from that innocent child energy and the energy of the sun God consciousness: joyful, energetic, continual growth, vibrant light.

darkness into light

2010-07-19T14:52:00.001-07:00

One year ago Saturday, July 17, was the aniversary of Sherm's passing. The entire previous week, and even month, has been a heinsight 20/20 of how 365 days later we can find ourselves in the same place of location, within the same season and sometimes amongst the same people, but perhaps things are different or perhaps things are the same in some ways.

This past month of returning to Seattle, I knew would be marked by difficulties coming back to a place where I left while I was in such a mentally clouded and dark place. Anyone who knows me and unfortunately at that time, may have just met me, would have seen the light dimming in my eyes. I know that I was not my brilliant, shining full of life and love self during that time.

The heartache which I felt so deeply after the loss of my dear loved one was overwhelming. It was not until seperating myself from this place, and taking time to get back to my self in a space surrounded by healing mountains, the gentle peace which the Winter snow brings, my loving family surrounding me, and my every day dedication to come out of the misery and back into the joy of life, has brought me back here to Seattle.

Ready once again with passion, excitement and energy to share my light and love with all. I had to be reminded of my connection to the spirit all around me when I returned. Accepting that not all that happens is by coincidence and that some things are clear ahead of us if we pay attention to our dreams, the de-ja vus and most especially the music which shines through with a clear message.

This past month was a reminder of how life continues onward, how we are continuing in the life of existance even though we may be in a state of darkness, sadness, suffering, or depression. There is light all around our existance, and there are messangers in our life to share this light and love. Unless we are open to the light and love that is being shared, we will not come out of our darkness.

Saturday was spent walking in the sunshine, embracing the beauty of the day, the water by the lake, the cleansing feeling of not needing to do anything, or be anywhere but present.

Sunday as I walked down the hill, the sun was shining, piercing through the buildings eminating the glorious rays of light into the concrete jungle which we reside. A day, a weekend, a season in the sun ~ I am embraced by this brilliant light. Rays upon my skin as the sun lowered in to the western sky, I feel the golden heat of that ball of orange yellow in that big blue sky. My arms spread wide, I embraced the light of the sun, taking in big full breaths of the prana - lifeforce energy all around me.

Last night, the Avett Brothers sang a list of songs which I felt at the time were singing to my heart and soul (see previous set list and listen, you will understand the words which I cannot fully express). Overall, I was reminded that love is painful and blissful at the same time. It is worth all of this as long as we are learning more about ourselves along the way and being grateful for the moments shared with the other.

I wrote these words in my journal last night after the show:
When I hear songs about love, and my lost union with my loved one, of course I think back to the most recent love lost. I'm still holding on, not letting go and why? Is it because the love was so true? That it was true love but for whatever reason we are currently seperated? I beleve that we are never quite seperated once a love has been in our life. We are forever influenced by this person in our life, by the love which was shared in our life. I will forever believe this about all of my loves lost. They serve their purpose for the moment, then the moment continues on the path as it is supposed to.

As my lady cab driver drove down the ridgeline we saw in the distance the half moon shining orange in the sky and I was reminded of the connection between the sun and the moon. I came home and wrote for hours about my understanding of love, the sun and moon, and the light and love which is all around. This is what ensued:

Presently I am here, and you are there, our bodies no longer sharing the space in relative proximity, every day and every night. Neither our words nor our eyes share the encounter of proximity; I feel as though you and I are not apart. Just as I am not apart from the tree which grows outside my front porch, or the sun which shines through my windows as I lift my arms up to feel the rays of light in the morning. I am a part of all which is surrounding, near and far. You are a part of this shining light. We are all basking in the sun giving thanks and praises. Even during the months of clouds and darkness surrounding, the sun continues to shine. We are blessed by this forever light.

The night comes and the moon, in its orange glow, reflects the sun, shining brightly above. Within the night of darkness, we are guided by the light of the moon. But once again, as the night slowly returns to day, we lose sight of the light and eventually comes an even greater darkness. It is during the night in the most dark of places, when the moon is no longer in sight, that our eyes can see the simple sparkle of the shimmering lights even more brightly, more clearly than before. The stars ignite a curiosity as they twinkle gently from a far and once again, we are in gratitude for the darkness. Staring beyond, the lights of the universe weave wonder into our minds of what other worlds may be, beyond our simple state of existence. The connectedness is even stronger out here in the darkness, from you to me, and from me to you. From you to that star and that star back to me. It is no wonder why the energy is transmitted through the stars and reflected by the moon: so vibrant and full of life that they sustain this prana through which we are all intertwined.

You are the light of the shining sun by day, and I graciously reflect the light by night as an orange moon. A namaskara to the surya (sun) and the chandra (moon) I give thanks and praises. I embrace the light, I take it in and I share it in return with all surrounding me. Any darkness, and negativity, I shield from my existence, though I shower that energy with an asha of peace and love. Inhaling deeply and exhaling wide, I open my heart and my soul to all, though I know there are only few who will understand this brilliance, so I must gently share only pieces of myself at a time.

This light can also be dimmed by other forces and sometimes may come close to being suffocated by dark, black holes. I hope that even when the force of that dark energy is drawing us closer, it can only make our light dim to the point that we remember, once again, our brilliance. We can shine brightly into the energy of the darkness and transform it into light. We have the power within ourselves to shine more brightly than the darkness of a black hole.

We are like the stars surrounding our earthly bodies and planet. We are amongst each other without planning, without complete understanding for the reason at this time. We are astral beings within a stellar universe of energy that has, and always will be interconnected. Alone we shine brightly, but together we create a configuration of shapes as a constellation. It is special when we surround ourselves with other brilliant beings. We may be luminous alone during the day, as the one shining star illuminating our Earth giving warmth and creating life. We shine even more brightly within the darkness of the universal sky when combined with the light and energy of those around. We must choose careful those we surround ourselves with to reflect our shining light, though just like shining rays of the sun, our light and love will be transmitted to all who surround us. May we always be surrounded by and go in the direction of the light, for as you have shared once before, even in the darkness, you are bright.

My morning meditation today was a reminder of the light and the darkness which is all around. It is ironic when we need to learn something once again, it becomes clear all around us that this is our lesson. Pema Chondron reminds me of the Tonglen way - a meditation to breathe in the pain and acknowledge suffering of the world, acknowledge my own fears and sufferings, then when breathing out, open up and connect with the feelings of joy, well-being, satisfaction, tender heartedness, fresh, clean, wholesome goodness.

I find it ever so "on the path" that today while listening to the radio, it was as though all the songs needed to be heard by my ears: http://www.kexp.org/playlist/playlist.aspx
* the song that would be the KEXP song of the day - is by Sebastian Blanck << Don’t Let The Darkness Gather Me>>
*the Who "Mary Anne and the Shakey Hand"
*Spoon "I saw the light"
*Curtis Mayfield "Trippin out" (cont) "over you Babe"
*Noah and the Whale "5 years time" with lyrics I am on my way back to where I started
*Band of Horses "Everything all the Time" ending with lyrics there will be fun fun fun, and there was sun sun sun all over our bodies!
*and ending with a little Tegan and Sara "back in your head" "I just want back into your head"

With my every morning meditaion I take the Bodhisattva vow to become fearless enough to help others, acknowledging my own fear but aspiring to have my hearts wake up completly.

Every morning I meditate with the rising sun, and every evening I process the deja-vus and coincidences of my day before I can slip into the slumber of the dream world connection with the divine. It is here that I find the peace of the darkness and allow my self to truly be connected to the spirit within and all around.

Blessings of light and love

Sounds and Energetic movement

2010-07-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

Avett Brothers Seattle Paramount 7.18.10
the set list:

1. Go To Sleep
2. And It Spreads
3. The Lowering
4. Shame
5. DDD
6. Skin and Bones
7. Head Full of Doubt
9. Denouncing
10. SSS
11. TinMan
12. The Fall
13. I&L&Y
14. Jan Wedding
15. Glisten Shine
16. Average People
17. I'll With Want
18. Paranoia
19. Sallys Lover
20. PGfCL
21. Colorshow
ENCORE
21. Murdered in the City
22. Kickdrum Heart

No words to share, the sound of voices singing and instruments moving the energy is all that needs to be communicated

http://www.theavettbrothers.com/us/home

Phoenix Rising Above the Ashes

2010-06-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Rise Above, Burn it down…. LIVING FIRE

I have strongly claimed my 25% Mexican blood since childhood having spent with my extended Mexican family….My Lita Tillie Padilla would be proud of her Blonde Mi hija **as a child I was naturally blonde ;)

So last night I attended a SIFF movie called “Backyard”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebPEc9IGT4Q

There have been others of this genre which depict the struggles of border life and Mexican people wanting to make a better life for themselves, such as La Misma Luna Under the Same Moon). And other films such as Maria Full of Grace or Traffic which portray the drug industry of Mexico and the US involvement.

This film “Backyard” illustrates in full graphic display, the vicious impact our continued denial of involvement as so called “American Citizens” has on our neighbors to the south, our “Backyard.” It takes a spin on the over-popularized condemnation of the drug industry to show that for some unknown reason, WOMEN are being kidnapped, tortured, raped, and not just killed but slaughtered only miles from our secured borders.

This film was about the missing and murdered women in Juarez, Mexico which has been going on for over a shocking 14 years. I was one of the ignorant many who read a headline in our New York Times, or kept up to current event of the NPR news at the time, but as with any sensational media, this coverage has reduced, and I lost focus on the issue.

It couldn’t have been a more perfect timing of this movie to be released and the current issues of my beloved home state (mind the sarcasm) of Arizona. Living there and seeing these problems escalate within our state from ring-side-view, all the other states are thinking how could this happen that Arizona is now doing this? Well this is why I moved away, these issues have been going on since my teens, back to when these issues in Juarez were being publicized but our government and society of the US seems to be removed because of a BORDER.

These escalated problems are created by fear
*Fear of our control being taken away as so-called “US Citizens”
*Fear of being less powerful than any other nation
*Fear of “those people” taking our JOBS – that US Citizens won’t even do because of their sur-real MTV world concept of themselves. Check out www.dirtyscottsdale.com and you’ll perhaps understand that the 30 thousand dollar millionaires of John McCain and Janet Brewer’s infamous Scottsdale are the ones making the choices for this state – absolutely frightening!

Even more frightening now, is the FEAR of KIDNAPPING, RAPE, MURDER. On both sides of the border we are in a fear

* US Citizens are putting up borders in fear that Mexican Illegal Immigrants are the reason for our higher crime rates of drug, rape, murder, etc… but check out our country’s two highest murder cities – far removed from the Mexican borders – Detroit and Chicago. Does this mean we need to be fearfully monitoring our border of Canada to the North?

*As this film shows, our impact as a US society’s NEED for goods at a CHEEP COST- immigrant workers and laborers who will work for pennies, OUR “American people’s” need for drugs, OUR “American people’s” need for prostitution, OUR American government’s need for power and corruption to continue the deception of the “American People”

We Arizonans who believe in social welfare, education and shockingly care about the welfare of our neighbors to the south (unlike the obvious population creating the current hoopla) knew that the leave of our Governor Janet Napolitano to join the Obama Administration would be an unfortunate defeat overall for Arizona’s government. And what’ll ya know…it allowed Arizona’s Secretary of State Janet Brewer to come into office out of succession, under Arizona’s Senator McCain. To think, this mentality of a person, influencing the laws of Arizona, which are shaking up our nation, could have been our President! THANK GOD ABOVE THAT HE WASN’T ELECTED OUR PRESIDENT.

Anyone with a pulse in Maricopa County knows of Sheriff Joe’s Shenanigans (sooo many thanks to our local New Times http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/specialReports/view/1166737 for the continued front page media of his never ending escapades).

Far too many years have we as progressive voters opposed his tactics, trying to give him the boot, yet all of those blinded old bats in Sun City and 30-thousand-dollar-millionaires of Slutty Scottsdale CONTINUALLY dismiss his antics. It is SCHOCKING that he continually gets reelected to be our Sheriff with his posse of renegades!!!

To further this saga of Arizona, we now have a law passed by these lawmakers in denial of the truth. How have we let this go on Arizona? I will admit my need to “get out” of Arizona because I was not surrounded by like-minded people who I felt were making a difference. I came to a Mecca of pc minded, sustainable and organic here in Seattle, but my “heart bleeds for you” Arizona, as was stated in “Backyard”

For a deeper look at the Senate Bill 1070 in it’s full glory of Legal jargon, here you go:
http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/49leg/2r/bills/sb1070s.pdf

The article in the NY Times expresses the Napolitano-Brewer-McCain political struggles for Arizona.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/24/us/politics/24immig.html

We activists have talked the talk….now we MUST walk the walk……
IT IS TIME TO RISE ABOVE…

Keep connected if you are a passionate, involved person wanting to collaborate for change… AshaVie - find the start up fan page on Facebook and blog: www.ashavieorg.blogspot.com or email ashavie@gmail.com

As a loved one has inscribed forever on his arm…….
Rise Above, Burn it Down: LIVING FIRE
Bless!

2010-06-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

Sooooo excited about numerous projects in the works.

Check out my new blog/ facebook page for Asha Vie and soon to come BanyanTri. Collaboration & support for these projects is my intention at present. Very content with the way things are going, thanks to the spirit guidance at every moment.

Om Ganesha Namaha. (may the obstacles be removed)
May I continue to be on the path, guided God within and all around.

Making Dreams a Reality

2010-02-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

So during the past few months, I have been working extremely hard to make the future happen for my present. Dreams. So many things I think up in my head, actually, when put to paper, then to concept, actually happen.

Right now I am in a waiting period, anticipating the results of my University of Washington graduate school program application. I will know on my birthday (March 10) so hopefully it will be a great birthday present!

Even if I do not get into graduate school, it just tells me that my ultimate dream needs to take a different course to be made real. See, the whole reason I am going to grad school, is to gain the experience and knowledge to be able to implement the programs I envision will dramatically impact our society.

I have just sent out the first bit of info about this anticipated project to my dear friends, hoping to gain their support, and work as a team to make this happen. I am setting up a website along with all the social network systems within this month, to make the dream a visible reality. My goal is by September, open the doors of my initial location offered to the community!

If I do get accepted into grad school, this organization will serve for the first two years as my grad project to research the impact of our services on the "Late Youth (early adulthood)" period of development. I am crossing my fingers for this opportunity and I will keep much updated info about the progression of the organization.

I will also post the new-found site once it has been established separately from my personal blog. I hope all is well in life for you my friends. If you find yourself interested in becoming a part of this project, let me know!

Namaste!
Ashley

Bon L'Anniversaire Sherm

2009-12-14T22:48:00.017-08:00

Last night as I struggled with falling asleep.

I remembered holding Sherm's hand, trying not to cry in his presence, knowing it was the last time I would hear his breath, feel his warmth and have him by my side.
I held my hand out just as it had been held in his grasp, but now I could only grip onto my blankets, his hand is no longer there to hold. This time I allow the tears to come and cry myself to sleep.

Today I found a letter he had sent to me this past year, the words read
Life is a never ending journey of discovery.
I remembered it was his birthday today.
These coincidences are not coincidences at all.

I am listening to jazz on your birthday Sherm.
With every day, with every lasting memory I carry you with me.
I am so grateful you came into this world, and that together we discovered life.
You were with me until you had to leave this life, but I know you are still with me now.
You once wrote to me, without your love I don't exist.
But I never stopped loving you, so you continue to live on in my heart.

I live for you now, your spirit continues on in the living.

Mon raison d'etre
l'amour de ma vie

past 4 months

2009-08-26T12:53:00.004-07:00

I can't even sum with words at this time, so i'll update with pictures..... most will be to my picasa if you want to check them out, i'm also on Facebook, twitter and myspace for more info on my goings on's. perhaps i'll get up the courage to write the saga, but for now I just want to listen to Thelonious Monk at noontime without anything else to do, nor do I want to plan for anything else to do but be.

thinking about my edgamakachon

2009-03-23T10:06:00.003-07:00

So i have these things called goals:

i goal plan nearly every day. obsessively.

sometimes, i make goals - to make goals.

it's a strange mentality, but as a good friend once inspired me,

i never say what i'm going to do, unless i'm prepared to do it.

So with 6 months in Seattle, doing whatever odd job i can find, i have decided that in inspiration of that professional career up in the sky, i need to further my education.

Here's how the goals look right now

eat, love, pray & work~ in Seattle ~ artist activist style
write my book (or 3) presently until they're done 1-2 years
start Creating Space --> just you wait and see ;>
live life joyfully, healthfully
start a summer school program 2010 for Creating Space
start grad school Fall 2010 ~cross my fingers D.C. ~ 2 years
breathe, let life flow
continue working on program development & fundraising for Creating Space
live life joyfully, healthfully and successfully
finish grad school 2012 ;P
jump up & down & scream!
initiate programs in schools 2012-forever
open Creating Space Center 2014
experience success through the struggles
inspire children to be creative & free
inspire youth to be who they were born to be
teach parents how to be mothers & fathers who love unconditionally & bring up our next generations of clear minded, peaceful thinkers & innovators instead of media influenced Zombies~ soul-less cattle in this mass herding society
learn to let go, do what i am here to do, evolve & transcend

Om namo guru dev namo

i honour the teacher within you & within me.

any grad school prep suggestions? gladly appreciated!

3 weeks in the Rainy City

2008-10-22T22:39:00.004-07:00

8 years ago I moved to Seattle for the first time, to take a sabbatical from my attempt as a college freshman student, and experience a big (ger than Phoenix) city - the difference between a desert and a lush wetland. I instantly fell in love. The smell of the air, the cloudy skys * even the so-called gloomy days warmed my heart* I knew I had found the place that I would be for a long time.

With, of course, the thoughts of my family back home always on my mind, and the in-state tuition perk of returning to school at ASU, I made my descent back to the hot, dry wasteland where I spent the last 7 years. After a surprisingly different degree change from my 1999 entrance as a Journalism major and Photography minor student (photojournalism just didn’t cut it for me at the time) to a studies in Child and Family Development, paired with three certificates in Nonprofit Management, Early Childhood Intervention, and Yoga Teacher training, I am an Arizona State University 2006 graduate!

The events over those years that occupied my time and mind included the involvement of numerous newfound relationships that taught me some of the greatest lessons of life, of which I have carried with me throughout my years. Special friends have come and gone, though they are always within me.

2 years of travel after my graduation gave me the freedom and exploration my soul needed and to gain even more that would impact the understanding I have of others for the future. I was so fortunate to visit France and Italy, Argentina, Ecuador and Brazil, and most recently, India. The people I met, oh how they have changed my life. I have experienced much, and I am continually inspired by our contact in the past. I hope that I can continue to maintain the friendship and companionship I developed with so many of my beautiful brothers and sisters of the world.

Now that my feet have walked, stumbled and I brought myself back up again, I am on the path that is new at every moment, ever present and developing the roots needed to grow more fully into the person that I am here to be. I have come full circle, lucky 7 I guess. 27 that is. No longer a girl of 20, I am a woman of 27, ready for what lies ahead, balanced and full of strength. Back in the city that I adored and continue to adore. Seattle, Yeah Rainy City! I am here and ready to stay!

what - it's only been 3 months since I've been back

2008-08-04T20:10:00.002-07:00

I feel like I'm still traveling, bags packed and going from here to there. Forever a life traveler. I'm in good old happy valley again, back in my home town. Loving the fresh air and mountains to explore.

Life is a constant challenge, but I'm enjoying it in every moment. Oh, yes, and I'm writing a book! Haha! Think you would read it?

New pic's soon to come. And in the works with my website/ yoga biz - www.yogawithashley.com
check it out!

Hope all is well in your life and adventures!

Last week at KSV!

2008-03-31T15:51:00.003-07:00

April 4 is the date that the children leave the school for Holiday - how is this possible? For two weeks now, I've been so sad thinking about the thought of leaving the children, and now it is the time. I have grown so attached as anyone would. Their instant unconditional love is the reason why I have stayed here, and why I know God has brought me here.

Every night I look into the sky and pray to understand what it is that I need to do, how I can best do my work here and in the future where ever I am, and of course the answer is always a peace of mind that I am here right now, and that is all I need to understand. I came here to this school with such ambitions and excitement for the organization and the opportunity to experience a new interaction with children then I have ever had before.

It was my original interest to volunteer with numerous organizations, to obtain the philosophies and morals of the teachings to come home and incorporate into my work. I realize that what I had thought this organization would be, was in fact so different than the idea I had in my mind, and unfortunately, I am very disappointed in the organization as a whole.
................But of course not the children.

So again, what I had intended for was much different than could have been imagined, but I have learned so much every day because of the struggles I have endured. Being here I am faced with the true purpose of my being, which is to work with children, and advocate for their rights and needs.

I am still working on some efforts to help the organization, which will directly impact the children's needs, even though at times I want to throw the towel in because of how difficult it is working with this organization, I know that I am here, as my name means in Kannard - Asha = light, Lee = raining - to rain light on this place.

I leave from the school in one week, and thereafter will continue to have correspondence with the school to offer help to the children, but I need your help as well. I have some projects that I am still working on for funding to directly help these children, so if you are at all interested in offering to help support me to support them, please send me an email and we can try to work together in effort to maintain integrity, appreciate cultural differences, but hold tight to the ideal harmonic belief that all people deserve respect and love, and to stand united with others to first educate and then make changes where these ideals are not held.

I want you all to know that I truly appreciate all the love and support you have shared with me before my travels to India- however many years I have dreamed about this day that I would be here - my head up in the stars. And for this travel, the incredible support I received by you helping me to arrive here and volunteer with the school is how it was made possible for me to come to India in the first place. But most important, your support of my efforts to help others, is the greatest support, because I cannot do this alone, I have come to understand.

As Margaret Mead says, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

I'm excited to come home, I feel that I can do so much more work here, and although there is something special about being alone to ponder and become clear, I am excited to do my work with the amazing passionnate ones who

Children are GOD, I am with GOD. I am blessed.

May you feel my love and all the smiling faces of Kalkeri Sangeet Vidyalaya.

Namaste!
Ashley

ps. check out my picassa for more pics!

2 more weeks already - what??!!

2008-03-20T04:57:00.002-07:00

Ok, so I've been here for 3 months, and only written a blog 3 times, pretty pathetic right?! I'm sure I could give so many excuses, but truly, I'm India, that's a big enough excuse. I think I have finally found a place which is on the same time as Ashley time. Even here I am on time though! When people say they will come for meetings on Monday, they happen on Wednesday, maybe Friday, and they are on time. Even those who don't speak English can say "In a minute" = meaning Indian minute of waiting till someone wants to pay attention to you after about 20 other people cut in line to talk to the clerk, it still is a minute for you to wait. Somehow, whenever a bus is coming at a specific time, and I am just one minute late for the bus, it has quickly gone on its way, but if I'm waiting for the bus to come, it will be late an hour after, so the Indian time is truly special here.
But really, I'm still at the school Kalkeri Sangeet Vidayalaya - in Karnartaka, India. The time here seems to stand still, that every day is on a schedule of the same timetable, but then again, it has gone so quickly, I cannot believe that it is already mid March! The children go on holiday in less than 2 weeks - and already I am that close to being done here!
(this may sound familiar to Lou - you got the first draft though, I was a little out of time for blogging ;) )
In it's own way, it has been just a little taste of India, being in a small village outside the busy big city of Dharward, goba huts and squat toilets, showering from a water tank and all, and most recently getting my first taste of India belly, the experience is more than my personal growth and enlightenment that I thought might happen from being in India. Once again, I am here for the children, of course that is the most important reason why I am here. Again, not to be a surprise, I have fallen in love with the children here. Their eyes and smiles are the most beautiful thing I have seen, I don't even need to go traveling to see the beautiful temples, or the mountains, or the waterfalls, I just look into their eyes and I am instantly with God, as one of the women said here, children are God, I totally believe this.

It has been surprisingly more difficult than I expected here-mostly because I have been really homesick -which I am usually not - so I'm excited to get my travel on for a few weeks, then return back to good old AZ, which there too I was sure I would leave to grander places. If I have learned anything here, it is mostly that I truly appreciate the people that I care about and the ones that are close to me, I want to keep them close. I can travel the world, but I'm not happy unless I'm with those I love. I think my next travels I'm going to have to take about 30 people with me.

I'll be traveling after April 4th, after the children leave, and I hope I'll have more of a plan, since I don't right now! I'll keep you updated a bit to let you know!

So much love and I hope your adventures are keeping you busy back home!
Lots of love,
ash

2008-02-08T01:10:00.000-08:00

So i'm alive and well, just spent the last 3 days beachside in Goa, not really wanting to get back to the dry Karnartaka, but excited to keep teaching. It was quite an adventure riding on motorcycle taxis along the twisting and turning Indian back roads of Goa to check out the many beaches, but it was well worth it to find my favorite new hippie town Arambol. It is here that i am finially okay with my nappy hair, whereas every other place in Kalkeri, the girls ask me if I am going to brush them out and put coconut oil, and give me strange looks like i'm wearing snakes in my hair. "No good coming" they say! They really love long silky hair here, again, not my nappy curly hair as well, so i'm kinda out regardless! But other than the superficial, things are great!

I'm excited to be doing some fundraising with the founders as my next project here, in addition to the English and yoga classes daily. Soon more to come on this one.

As for all the typical travel stuff, i'm doing well, haven't cracked open my head yet, knock on wood, but i'll keep you posted on any potentially fatal experience.

So much love to you all, I hope you are healthy and happy!

Namaste!
ashley

2008-01-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

Alive and well! SOOOOO busy, can't write too much right now, but will in a bit! Hope all is well to my friends and family!
big hugs!

India for 5 months!

2007-12-30T23:30:00.000-08:00

when the music could change their destiny: Young Musicians of the World

So i'll be in India for the months of January through May to volunteer (unpaid!) teach at a school in Dharwad, Karnataka, India with the organization Young Musicians of the World.

The philosophy of the school is beautiful, and the program is even more amazing! They start every morning bright and early at 6:30 with my favorite - yoga - and after preparing for the morning, they have three hours of music lessons - studying the traditional tabala, sitar, and harmonium, thereafter they sit for lunch, then three more hours of academics - of which I will be teaching English! I will be working for 6 days from 6am to 10 pm, with Sundays off for exploration.

I'm looking forward to the next 4 months of not driving through traffic, sleeping peacefully, eating lots of masala and curry, no more drama in my life, dreading my hair, wearing a sari, and just plain living life simply!

If you're interested in the the school, check them out:

www.jeunesmusiciensdumonde.org
school contact info:
Kalkeri Village, Dharwad district
50007, Karnataka State, India

my contact info:
yogawithashley@gmail.com
my home address for any continued support:
110 East 800 North
Orem, Utah 84057

I have been fundraising for this effort for the past 2 months so I truly appreciate all the support I have received! Any additional support is greatly appreciated! You can send funds to my home address, which will be deposited to me so I can continue to buy supplies while I am here in India, or you can donate online with the organization at the above website so they can continue to support the programs of the school.

I'll be keeping in contact, mostly here on my blog, not too much time for the email and myspace thing, but check out this page from time to time to hear about de-licing on Fridays, the progress on my dreads, and hopefully many an amazing story and photo to share.

Best wishes to you for your new year:
May our hearts be filled with love, joy and peace!
Om Shanti Shanti Om!

With love,
Ash