Bon L'Anniversaire Sherm

Last night as I struggled with falling asleep.

I remembered holding Sherm's hand, trying not to cry in his presence, knowing it was the last time I would hear his breath, feel his warmth and have him by my side.
I held my hand out just as it had been held in his grasp, but now I could only grip onto my blankets, his hand is no longer there to hold. This time I allow the tears to come and cry myself to sleep.

Today I found a letter he had sent to me this past year, the words read
Life is a never ending journey of discovery.
I remembered it was his birthday today.
These coincidences are not coincidences at all.



I am listening to jazz on your birthday Sherm.
With every day, with every lasting memory I carry you with me.
I am so grateful you came into this world, and that together we discovered life.
You were with me until you had to leave this life, but I know you are still with me now.
You once wrote to me, without your love I don't exist.
But I never stopped loving you, so you continue to live on in my heart.

I live for you now, your spirit continues on in the living.

Mon raison d'etre
l'amour de ma vie

past 4 months

I can't even sum with words at this time, so i'll update with pictures..... most will be to my picasa if you want to check them out, i'm also on Facebook, twitter and myspace for more info on my goings on's. perhaps i'll get up the courage to write the saga, but for now I just want to listen to Thelonious Monk at noontime without anything else to do, nor do I want to plan for anything else to do but be.

thinking about my edgamakachon

So i have these things called goals:

i goal plan nearly every day. obsessively.

sometimes, i make goals - to make goals.

it's a strange mentality, but as a good friend once inspired me,

i never say what i'm going to do, unless i'm prepared to do it.

So with 6 months in Seattle, doing whatever odd job i can find, i have decided that in inspiration of that professional career up in the sky, i need to further my education.

Here's how the goals look right now

• eat, love, pray & work~ in Seattle ~ artist activist style
• write my book (or 3) presently until they're done 1-2 years
• start Creating Space --> just you wait and see ;>
• live life joyfully, healthfully
• start a summer school program 2010 for Creating Space
• start grad school Fall 2010 ~cross my fingers D.C. ~ 2 years
• breathe, let life flow
• continue working on program development & fundraising for Creating Space
• live life joyfully, healthfully and successfully
• finish grad school 2012 ;P
• jump up & down & scream!
• initiate programs in schools 2012-forever
• open Creating Space Center 2014
• experience success through the struggles
• inspire children to be creative & free
• inspire youth to be who they were born to be
• teach parents how to be mothers & fathers who love unconditionally & bring up our next generations of clear minded, peaceful thinkers & innovators instead of media influenced Zombies~ soul-less cattle in this mass herding society
• learn to let go, do what i am here to do, evolve & transcend

Om namo guru dev namo

i honour the teacher within you & within me.

any grad school prep suggestions? gladly appreciated!

3 weeks in the Rainy City

8 years ago I moved to Seattle for the first time, to take a sabbatical from my attempt as a college freshman student, and experience a big (ger than Phoenix) city - the difference between a desert and a lush wetland. I instantly fell in love. The smell of the air, the cloudy skys * even the so-called gloomy days warmed my heart* I knew I had found the place that I would be for a long time.

With, of course, the thoughts of my family back home always on my mind, and the in-state tuition perk of returning to school at ASU, I made my descent back to the hot, dry wasteland where I spent the last 7 years. After a surprisingly different degree change from my 1999 entrance as a Journalism major and Photography minor student (photojournalism just didn’t cut it for me at the time) to a studies in Child and Family Development, paired with three certificates in Nonprofit Management, Early Childhood Intervention, and Yoga Teacher training, I am an Arizona State University 2006 graduate!

The events over those years that occupied my time and mind included the involvement of numerous newfound relationships that taught me some of the greatest lessons of life, of which I have carried with me throughout my years. Special friends have come and gone, though they are always within me.

2 years of travel after my graduation gave me the freedom and exploration my soul needed and to gain even more that would impact the understanding I have of others for the future. I was so fortunate to visit France and Italy, Argentina, Ecuador and Brazil, and most recently, India. The people I met, oh how they have changed my life. I have experienced much, and I am continually inspired by our contact in the past. I hope that I can continue to maintain the friendship and companionship I developed with so many of my beautiful brothers and sisters of the world.

Now that my feet have walked, stumbled and I brought myself back up again, I am on the path that is new at every moment, ever present and developing the roots needed to grow more fully into the person that I am here to be. I have come full circle, lucky 7 I guess. 27 that is. No longer a girl of 20, I am a woman of 27, ready for what lies ahead, balanced and full of strength. Back in the city that I adored and continue to adore. Seattle, Yeah Rainy City! I am here and ready to stay!

what - it's only been 3 months since I've been back

I feel like I'm still traveling, bags packed and going from here to there. Forever a life traveler. I'm in good old happy valley again, back in my home town. Loving the fresh air and mountains to explore.

Life is a constant challenge, but I'm enjoying it in every moment. Oh, yes, and I'm writing a book! Haha! Think you would read it?

New pic's soon to come. And in the works with my website/ yoga biz - www.yogawithashley.com
check it out!

Hope all is well in your life and adventures!

Last week at KSV!

April 4 is the date that the children leave the school for Holiday - how is this possible? For two weeks now, I've been so sad thinking about the thought of leaving the children, and now it is the time. I have grown so attached as anyone would. Their instant unconditional love is the reason why I have stayed here, and why I know God has brought me here.

Every night I look into the sky and pray to understand what it is that I need to do, how I can best do my work here and in the future where ever I am, and of course the answer is always a peace of mind that I am here right now, and that is all I need to understand. I came here to this school with such ambitions and excitement for the organization and the opportunity to experience a new interaction with children then I have ever had before.

It was my original interest to volunteer with numerous organizations, to obtain the philosophies and morals of the teachings to come home and incorporate into my work. I realize that what I had thought this organization would be, was in fact so different than the idea I had in my mind, and unfortunately, I am very disappointed in the organization as a whole.
................But of course not the children.

So again, what I had intended for was much different than could have been imagined, but I have learned so much every day because of the struggles I have endured. Being here I am faced with the true purpose of my being, which is to work with children, and advocate for their rights and needs.

I am still working on some efforts to help the organization, which will directly impact the children's needs, even though at times I want to throw the towel in because of how difficult it is working with this organization, I know that I am here, as my name means in Kannard - Asha = light, Lee = raining - to rain light on this place.

I leave from the school in one week, and thereafter will continue to have correspondence with the school to offer help to the children, but I need your help as well. I have some projects that I am still working on for funding to directly help these children, so if you are at all interested in offering to help support me to support them, please send me an email and we can try to work together in effort to maintain integrity, appreciate cultural differences, but hold tight to the ideal harmonic belief that all people deserve respect and love, and to stand united with others to first educate and then make changes where these ideals are not held.

I want you all to know that I truly appreciate all the love and support you have shared with me before my travels to India- however many years I have dreamed about this day that I would be here - my head up in the stars. And for this travel, the incredible support I received by you helping me to arrive here and volunteer with the school is how it was made possible for me to come to India in the first place. But most important, your support of my efforts to help others, is the greatest support, because I cannot do this alone, I have come to understand.

As Margaret Mead says, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

I'm excited to come home, I feel that I can do so much more work here, and although there is something special about being alone to ponder and become clear, I am excited to do my work with the amazing passionnate ones who

Children are GOD, I am with GOD. I am blessed.

May you feel my love and all the smiling faces of Kalkeri Sangeet Vidyalaya.

Namaste!
Ashley

ps. check out my picassa for more pics!

2 more weeks already - what??!!

Ok, so I've been here for 3 months, and only written a blog 3 times, pretty pathetic right?! I'm sure I could give so many excuses, but truly, I'm India, that's a big enough excuse. I think I have finally found a place which is on the same time as Ashley time. Even here I am on time though! When people say they will come for meetings on Monday, they happen on Wednesday, maybe Friday, and they are on time. Even those who don't speak English can say "In a minute" = meaning Indian minute of waiting till someone wants to pay attention to you after about 20 other people cut in line to talk to the clerk, it still is a minute for you to wait. Somehow, whenever a bus is coming at a specific time, and I am just one minute late for the bus, it has quickly gone on its way, but if I'm waiting for the bus to come, it will be late an hour after, so the Indian time is truly special here.
But really, I'm still at the school Kalkeri Sangeet Vidayalaya - in Karnartaka, India. The time here seems to stand still, that every day is on a schedule of the same timetable, but then again, it has gone so quickly, I cannot believe that it is already mid March! The children go on holiday in less than 2 weeks - and already I am that close to being done here!
(this may sound familiar to Lou - you got the first draft though, I was a little out of time for blogging ;) )
In it's own way, it has been just a little taste of India, being in a small village outside the busy big city of Dharward, goba huts and squat toilets, showering from a water tank and all, and most recently getting my first taste of India belly, the experience is more than my personal growth and enlightenment that I thought might happen from being in India. Once again, I am here for the children, of course that is the most important reason why I am here. Again, not to be a surprise, I have fallen in love with the children here. Their eyes and smiles are the most beautiful thing I have seen, I don't even need to go traveling to see the beautiful temples, or the mountains, or the waterfalls, I just look into their eyes and I am instantly with God, as one of the women said here, children are God, I totally believe this.

It has been surprisingly more difficult than I expected here-mostly because I have been really homesick -which I am usually not - so I'm excited to get my travel on for a few weeks, then return back to good old AZ, which there too I was sure I would leave to grander places. If I have learned anything here, it is mostly that I truly appreciate the people that I care about and the ones that are close to me, I want to keep them close. I can travel the world, but I'm not happy unless I'm with those I love. I think my next travels I'm going to have to take about 30 people with me.

I'll be traveling after April 4th, after the children leave, and I hope I'll have more of a plan, since I don't right now! I'll keep you updated a bit to let you know!

So much love and I hope your adventures are keeping you busy back home!
Lots of love,
ash