This is the start to my bizniss Monday mid day music mix...
I was trying to find another Zion I's song and found this, it was pretty timely I thought for a morning get me going song:
Boom Bap music blood is running through my veins, Doesn't matter what you think you can hate on me
I'm in deep too deep and the music taking over me.
never been afraid, ain't scared to make a change
Don't belive me you can kiss my Culot! (Latina roots yup!)
Run the rat race, just chillin.
Every stab that we flip gonna sharpen the mind.
I'm gonna shine regardless.
(Haha) Been burning incense, they try to call this yoga,
Thanks my homEs reminding me of my heart and soul now working it here in Seattle.
Remembering that with each prorgression of my self, there are obstacles, distractions, disturbances, and at the same time, gifts of beauty, kindness, generousity to support of the person that I am first and formost, my project is just a reflection of the support I receive along the way.
Takeover, Zion I
I open up my heart and let the soul provide. TakeOver...
OK so this was the song that I was searching for, was Juicy Juice - lyrics that say: We don't die we multiply, put you hands in the sky if you fill this fly. Oh how hip hop sings to my soul. Ha!
Juicy juice - I always thought it said Gypsie Juice - I think I like my crashlyrics best. I'm a gypsie for sure- feeling it back and forth between Phx to Seattle - west coast = best coast! Haha! I'm sending out shout outs to my gals from Tempe with love. White rabbits to you Jess, miss you gal.
Juicy Juice, Zion I
It's a rainy day here in Seattle, this potentially could be a drippy sad kind of day like so many of the grey skied days in Seattle should be right? Like some kind of a cliche ritual of depression setting into the hearts of so many Seattlites. People seem like they want something to complain about. Somehow though, the sun has surprised us snarky Seattliets numerous times this September into November months. The fear the the cold winters is upon us, and I have been in the darkness of the fall before, but this time I feel I that the sun still wants to shine through the darkness.
Thank you Seattle for encouraging my focus on the ever continual creative progression of self which I am experiencing with every cloud and ray of sunshine light.
Out of the blue, I think it must have been another Sherm Song to bring me back to musical awareness of present prayers to the universe. I get so up and down about life because of the gravity. The sadness surrounds because of life's past, but my present is a time to move through these past demons and express the past so it will be buried forever more and the future will shine on.
Hail Mary, 2Pac:
bow down pray to GOD hope he's listening.
lets go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman who SCREAMS!
dealing with fate, hoping GOD don't close the gate.
We've been traveling on this web we wove...
This is the beginning of my dedication to my art. I have been prepping, developing, researching, writing, crafting my craft. It is by no means acceptable by my perfectionist way, this blog, as been a forum for my silly thoughts and sharing what is often too much for an Email or FB post for any of the friends that actually want to keep up with what goes on in the mind of I.
ON a lighter note, I've been looking at life through the eyes of a child. When I have another day where I feel I just don't want to get up, that life is just too difficult to handle because of all the pressure I put on my own self, I will refer to this video forever more! Nothing like some beats from the best of them, Pumba and Timon! (life is supposed to be light hearted right? these guys have some wisdom!)
Home is where your rump rests - buuurrrrpppp!! haha!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Decible Whirlwind
The adventures of PHX to the street of Seattle during Decible have resonnated with me throughout the past month +. I was embraced once again by a white rabbit reminder during a performance one night at the Paramount, my Phoenix Friends guiding me through the streets which I've traveled for so long here by myself. I kept running into familiar faces, friends from past, at one point, I went to the ladies parlour, and seriously, two of my friends, came into the ladies one after another at that same time. This is what I call I'm awake but still dreaming.
Here's a few visuals to somewhat share the experience. Inexpressive with words. The sights the sounds and the magic all around. I felt the fire and the ice that night.
This night I ran into an old friend, one whom I feel like I have known for lifetimes, though we had only shared a Summer in Seattle. Like any old friend I was excited to see his face, to see the potential changes as we all have through a couple seasons of weather, perhaps wear, but mostly, hopefully, we see the beauty of each other once again in a unconditionally loving and kind space with genuine concern for our progression as a person on this path of life's experiences can show in the smile of our eyes and the embrace of our hands held.
What was different about this night was that I was in a state of heightened sensitivity to all that had been going on in my life for the past few months, and then on that night I came to an understanding within myself. Ironically my dad even called me while we were rock star preparing ourselves to depart the W in fashion's speed for the show.
I seem to flow each September through December in a similar pattern as the years go on. It is a common time for my attention to go inward, perhaps a lot like the weather here in Seattle. I am much like the gray skies and sunshine here. I'm unpredictable from one moment to the next weather I want to be sunny or cloudy, I offer fresh breaths of oxygen and enriched sights in nearly every diretion as long as I'm taking the time to appreciate all around me. I am strong enough to endure the changes of the season because I have been through this a time or two, it still is a slight shock to the system, and I oftentimes need to lash out in a heavy rain or two, but for the most part, I'm comfortable with sharing my emotions because they are what makes me so vibrantly creative and expressive during the moments and days of brilliant light.
With the love of my friends around me, this week of my girls surrounding me, reminded me that supportive root family is how we get through difficult times, together. These girls had to come all the way up to Seattle, to take me to Paramount, listen to Amon Tobin, and finally see the light that so many of my other friends have been trying to share with me throughout the many past years. I have been swimming in a sea of darkness. Some day I would need to choose my own path to move out of the darkness and into the light. It has been a long time since I feel like I have been surrounded by light and love, even though I spent 5 straight months in sunshine of Phoenix, somehow I needed the darkness again so that remember to go towards the light.
The words from this friend still come into my thoughts from time to time. He once told me one night almost out of the blue for it's prophetic wisdom at the time, I guess I just didn't realize the lessons he was trying to share with: go towards the light, for in the light there is no darkness. I'm grateful that the universe brought us together on this night to share another embrace and see his eyes smiling from within. Rise above, burn it down. Living Fire.
Here's a few visuals to somewhat share the experience. Inexpressive with words. The sights the sounds and the magic all around. I felt the fire and the ice that night.
This night I ran into an old friend, one whom I feel like I have known for lifetimes, though we had only shared a Summer in Seattle. Like any old friend I was excited to see his face, to see the potential changes as we all have through a couple seasons of weather, perhaps wear, but mostly, hopefully, we see the beauty of each other once again in a unconditionally loving and kind space with genuine concern for our progression as a person on this path of life's experiences can show in the smile of our eyes and the embrace of our hands held.
What was different about this night was that I was in a state of heightened sensitivity to all that had been going on in my life for the past few months, and then on that night I came to an understanding within myself. Ironically my dad even called me while we were rock star preparing ourselves to depart the W in fashion's speed for the show.
I seem to flow each September through December in a similar pattern as the years go on. It is a common time for my attention to go inward, perhaps a lot like the weather here in Seattle. I am much like the gray skies and sunshine here. I'm unpredictable from one moment to the next weather I want to be sunny or cloudy, I offer fresh breaths of oxygen and enriched sights in nearly every diretion as long as I'm taking the time to appreciate all around me. I am strong enough to endure the changes of the season because I have been through this a time or two, it still is a slight shock to the system, and I oftentimes need to lash out in a heavy rain or two, but for the most part, I'm comfortable with sharing my emotions because they are what makes me so vibrantly creative and expressive during the moments and days of brilliant light.
With the love of my friends around me, this week of my girls surrounding me, reminded me that supportive root family is how we get through difficult times, together. These girls had to come all the way up to Seattle, to take me to Paramount, listen to Amon Tobin, and finally see the light that so many of my other friends have been trying to share with me throughout the many past years. I have been swimming in a sea of darkness. Some day I would need to choose my own path to move out of the darkness and into the light. It has been a long time since I feel like I have been surrounded by light and love, even though I spent 5 straight months in sunshine of Phoenix, somehow I needed the darkness again so that remember to go towards the light.
The words from this friend still come into my thoughts from time to time. He once told me one night almost out of the blue for it's prophetic wisdom at the time, I guess I just didn't realize the lessons he was trying to share with: go towards the light, for in the light there is no darkness. I'm grateful that the universe brought us together on this night to share another embrace and see his eyes smiling from within. Rise above, burn it down. Living Fire.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
PHX came to represent in the Streets of Seattle
Thank you my loved ones for continuing to travel surrounding me with your light and your love. I am so forever touched by the guidance of friends in this relm and the next. Natasha, Jessica, Claudia, you three ladies came up to shake some Phoenix roots back into my swimming fishy fins, reminding me to be embraced by the goddess energy all around (and even in the clouds!). I needed a bit of grounding from the desert because I have been soaring in the clouds up here for so long.
Here's just a few of the fun adventure shots (most of which were in the crash pad thanks to the W) and a few out and about. PHX representing in Seattle!
I needed the reminder to WAKE UP and get stuff started girl. Thanks guys and gals, you made Seattle warmer with your PHX sunshine. So much love to you.
Here's just a few of the fun adventure shots (most of which were in the crash pad thanks to the W) and a few out and about. PHX representing in Seattle!
I needed the reminder to WAKE UP and get stuff started girl. Thanks guys and gals, you made Seattle warmer with your PHX sunshine. So much love to you.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Manic Monday Mix Tape
Sometimes I don't realize the Sherm Songs until they are well into their space:
I was searching for YouTube video for a silly birthday gram, and these songs just started to play - how does it happen? This is what I needed today, musical therapy:
Bright Eyes: Here I come back, heavy love, someone gotta share in that heavy load, I'm never gonna move it alone.
Just this morning I was talking with a supportive loved one about being alone and working to make these projects happen, feeling overwhelmed with my continued aspiration for acquiring that next job, that hopeful career, that dream of success in my own art. Projects which weigh heavy on my mind and heart so heavythat I fall asleep dressed for the day and during the day I am dreaming. It is a bit backwards, or is it because I am living the dream right now? This is the storm before the calm, I've been in a whirlwind, dust storm, heat boiling, I've still got energy to move this forward.
Burial, Four Tet + Thom Yorke - Ego (New 2011 track)
Radiohead - Codex
It takes a note, a sound, the piano keys and the tones of his voice, to calm my heart. This song reminds me of driving with my cous at the beginning of my 30th year, freshly into my wanderings in pursuit of my mental clarity. This is an interesting thought, mental clarity,
Just Slight of Hand, Jump off the edge, into a clear lake, no one's around. Just Dragon Fly. The water's clear, says Thom
Sometimes I get so upset over the silliest things, and then a sweet person reminds me of the sweetness inside of me, through the simplest things, and I feel renewed.
The Shins
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Belong
Really, now this would only make sense.....lessons from the songs shared. Slow down.
Falling out of Reach - Guillemots
I was searching for YouTube video for a silly birthday gram, and these songs just started to play - how does it happen? This is what I needed today, musical therapy:
Bright Eyes: Here I come back, heavy love, someone gotta share in that heavy load, I'm never gonna move it alone.
Just this morning I was talking with a supportive loved one about being alone and working to make these projects happen, feeling overwhelmed with my continued aspiration for acquiring that next job, that hopeful career, that dream of success in my own art. Projects which weigh heavy on my mind and heart so heavythat I fall asleep dressed for the day and during the day I am dreaming. It is a bit backwards, or is it because I am living the dream right now? This is the storm before the calm, I've been in a whirlwind, dust storm, heat boiling, I've still got energy to move this forward.
Burial, Four Tet + Thom Yorke - Ego (New 2011 track)
Radiohead - Codex
It takes a note, a sound, the piano keys and the tones of his voice, to calm my heart. This song reminds me of driving with my cous at the beginning of my 30th year, freshly into my wanderings in pursuit of my mental clarity. This is an interesting thought, mental clarity,
Just Slight of Hand, Jump off the edge, into a clear lake, no one's around. Just Dragon Fly. The water's clear, says Thom
Sometimes I get so upset over the silliest things, and then a sweet person reminds me of the sweetness inside of me, through the simplest things, and I feel renewed.
The Shins
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Belong
Really, now this would only make sense.....lessons from the songs shared. Slow down.
Falling out of Reach - Guillemots
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9-11 10 years later
Astral Travels thorough sound and space:
I'm so removed from POP culture, thanks to my 14 year old sis Jadey, I've heard this once or twice, lyrics of radio songs keep sharing the messages
[B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams or Paramore]
Can we pretend that Airplanes In the midnight sky
Are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’ and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion and all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
When you’re staring at that phone in your lap and you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds: you get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel, and they sayin’ what would YOU wish for if you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late: I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight and I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night
Somebody take me back to the days before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank yeah back when I was tryin’ to get a tip at [Harlows!]
So here I stand and then again I say I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes?
i could really use a wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
like shooting stars
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)
The sound of planes still gets me every time. I live under the flight path these days in my little Bungalow, not too far from Boeing Field. The flights from Sea Tac start early, my morning mix tape sounds like this, yoga meditations on the front porch to the energetic movement:
10 years later.
It seems lately I've been doing a lot of introspection about the timeline of my life - 10 years ago I was 20. It all is relevant, we grow, change, experience new environments to live within and amongst new friends to create our present and future.
Right now I'm fascinated with timelines, perhaps because time keeps moving forward, and I'm oftentimes looking at the past trying to make sense of it all, and hoping for changes for the future, while maintaining the balance of life at present. This details the minute by minute of the events of 9-11 (copy-paste if you want to experience the jet sounds while reading on ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. I was trying to remember my own timeline of that day, waking early to start my new semester at community college, back at the fam's house after returning from my first adventure in Seattle from Feb-Aug 2000, it was another big transition for my personal life, and just when I was attempting to have some forward movement and progression to a stable live-work-play, the world's catastrophes seemed to be overwhelming me.
I awoke today at about the same time that I did that day, slightly still in my dream states not quite up yet to face the world. My radio alarm of NPR was blaring the news of the first attack so I flipped on the TV to see what this was all about. My friend Jess called to confirm our carpool for our return to college life- back at Mesa Community College, we rode together to our morning yoga class, in shock of what the morning had held., curious about what was going to happen with the day. It was one of the most emotionless yoga classes I could remember, that I don't remember it at all. I do remember the feeling of walking guiltily around the campus, as though my heart went out to all the other people who have had their lives shortened, turned upside down and affected in proximity to crisis, and the ripples felt beyond. My soul felt the loss that others felt, it was a bizarre sadness I resonated with in compassion for the suffering of others.
Waiting, but yet continuing on with the normal, this is a timeline of some events that were shortened by catastrophe, and others which seemed to continue on as life seems to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closings_and_cancellations_following_the_September_11_attacks
on a lighter note: how bout a simulation flight ;)
Remembering:
I was at my younger brother's ball practice- it was an evening practice, the parents (and supportive sister) were sitting on folding chairs in the middle of suburban bliss: green grassed flood lightened playing fields, watching the routines of their mini's doing what seemed like the normal thing for age 7-11 to be doing. The practice of whistles blowing and young athletes being corralled into organized competition was stopped by a sound which was gone from our skies for a week.
Time seemed to stand still for some, waiting in anticipation, fear of the next, etc. We were all there. For me, the sound of the first plane to resume flying, became one of my most cherished sounds because of this pivotal moment. Everyone on the field stopped in their space. We all stood up from the chairs, raised our heads to the sky in awe that the same craft which knocked down buildings, and knocked down our personal safety walls, was roaring through the sky again, in a sort of victory that we will rise above once again. No surprise that I had returned to Phoenix, during a very pivotal time in not just my own life, but all those around me.
The past 2 summers here in Seattle, the SeaFair is marked by the Blue Angels flying throughout the city for about 3 days. My house rumbles and shakes under the sound of this beautiful meditation from angels above:
As I continue on, as we all continue on, there is a motivating force behind all of our actions. These events took place out of planned, premeditated anticipation. Right now, this song resonnates so strongly: continuing on, not letting anything stand in our way of making it happening.
I fly like paper, get high like planes.
Sometimes I feel sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner now we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler, making my name
Sticks and stones and weed and bones
Life is a Full circle.
I'm so removed from POP culture, thanks to my 14 year old sis Jadey, I've heard this once or twice, lyrics of radio songs keep sharing the messages
[B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams or Paramore]
Can we pretend that Airplanes In the midnight sky
Are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’ and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion and all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
When you’re staring at that phone in your lap and you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds: you get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel, and they sayin’ what would YOU wish for if you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late: I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight and I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night
Somebody take me back to the days before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank yeah back when I was tryin’ to get a tip at [Harlows!]
So here I stand and then again I say I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes?
i could really use a wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
like shooting stars
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)
The sound of planes still gets me every time. I live under the flight path these days in my little Bungalow, not too far from Boeing Field. The flights from Sea Tac start early, my morning mix tape sounds like this, yoga meditations on the front porch to the energetic movement:
10 years later.
It seems lately I've been doing a lot of introspection about the timeline of my life - 10 years ago I was 20. It all is relevant, we grow, change, experience new environments to live within and amongst new friends to create our present and future.
Right now I'm fascinated with timelines, perhaps because time keeps moving forward, and I'm oftentimes looking at the past trying to make sense of it all, and hoping for changes for the future, while maintaining the balance of life at present. This details the minute by minute of the events of 9-11 (copy-paste if you want to experience the jet sounds while reading on ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. I was trying to remember my own timeline of that day, waking early to start my new semester at community college, back at the fam's house after returning from my first adventure in Seattle from Feb-Aug 2000, it was another big transition for my personal life, and just when I was attempting to have some forward movement and progression to a stable live-work-play, the world's catastrophes seemed to be overwhelming me.
I awoke today at about the same time that I did that day, slightly still in my dream states not quite up yet to face the world. My radio alarm of NPR was blaring the news of the first attack so I flipped on the TV to see what this was all about. My friend Jess called to confirm our carpool for our return to college life- back at Mesa Community College, we rode together to our morning yoga class, in shock of what the morning had held., curious about what was going to happen with the day. It was one of the most emotionless yoga classes I could remember, that I don't remember it at all. I do remember the feeling of walking guiltily around the campus, as though my heart went out to all the other people who have had their lives shortened, turned upside down and affected in proximity to crisis, and the ripples felt beyond. My soul felt the loss that others felt, it was a bizarre sadness I resonated with in compassion for the suffering of others.
Waiting, but yet continuing on with the normal, this is a timeline of some events that were shortened by catastrophe, and others which seemed to continue on as life seems to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closings_and_cancellations_following_the_September_11_attacks
on a lighter note: how bout a simulation flight ;)
Remembering:
I was at my younger brother's ball practice- it was an evening practice, the parents (and supportive sister) were sitting on folding chairs in the middle of suburban bliss: green grassed flood lightened playing fields, watching the routines of their mini's doing what seemed like the normal thing for age 7-11 to be doing. The practice of whistles blowing and young athletes being corralled into organized competition was stopped by a sound which was gone from our skies for a week.
Time seemed to stand still for some, waiting in anticipation, fear of the next, etc. We were all there. For me, the sound of the first plane to resume flying, became one of my most cherished sounds because of this pivotal moment. Everyone on the field stopped in their space. We all stood up from the chairs, raised our heads to the sky in awe that the same craft which knocked down buildings, and knocked down our personal safety walls, was roaring through the sky again, in a sort of victory that we will rise above once again. No surprise that I had returned to Phoenix, during a very pivotal time in not just my own life, but all those around me.
The past 2 summers here in Seattle, the SeaFair is marked by the Blue Angels flying throughout the city for about 3 days. My house rumbles and shakes under the sound of this beautiful meditation from angels above:
As I continue on, as we all continue on, there is a motivating force behind all of our actions. These events took place out of planned, premeditated anticipation. Right now, this song resonnates so strongly: continuing on, not letting anything stand in our way of making it happening.
I fly like paper, get high like planes.
Sometimes I feel sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner now we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler, making my name
Sticks and stones and weed and bones
Life is a Full circle.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
no surprises..
coincidences? all coming together. dreams. reality. make it so. and so it is.
this is my final
this is my final
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday Funday-start to the week meditations
Yesterday was my Sunday Funday around town:
The Seattle Summer sun was shining, though as it sometimes is for my days, my morning felt a bit foggy. This week seemed to whirl by me, with lots of confusion: starting with the loss of my phone for since last Thursday up until this Friday, I was back to feeling completely out of communication with the world and most especially I felt the distance from my roots of "home".
Once again, I have left my roots to be in another space in time. Now more than ever I am slowing down to appreciate my current existence, no matter the time nor location within which I stay in that space, I strive to maintain a moment focus in all the activities of my awake and sleep states. Cherishing the sunrise, with the loved ones whom i explore the light of the day, the sunset, with the loved ones who will walk along side or sometimes from ahead guiding the light through the darkness of the night breaking through to daylight (I think I heard lyrics like this from a Coldplay song).
It has now been a month since I've returned to Seattle: back to wandering and exploring this incredible city. I have been remembering the past every day as the future comes into present. The five months of March through July were spent reestablishing "home." The time I was in Phoenix seemed to also whirl by: mostly because I was constantly on the go, sometimes riding here and there on my Raleigh Robinhood [which kinda looks like this
Thanks to homepage.ntlworld.com I couldn't find any pic's with me on my bike!] I was active in being inspired by the creativity that was all around me through the continual production of each of my loved one's current life's art. Working on the ever continual project which I have now come to visibly able to share with my confidants and now the interwebs in the infancy stage of development.
I have been working on lots of projects throughout all of my life, never a dull moment or free time to reset. Most especially during this last year, I have been obsessed with the production of my current project and the present artistic creations. I am continuing on my dream of the past few years, enjoying now that these dreams are somehow coming to a present space. It is almost like I am living in my dream land: as if it is the reality in which I live - does this mean my dreams are coming true?
It was quite the wake up call, being back home. My friends and loved ones, how can I even begin to write my thoughts and the experiences of the past few months to express my gratitude for the hospitality for a weary traveler: a bed, hammock, and pool patio furniture to rest my head under the desert sky. For the companionship along a street wander through downtown, a bike ride, or late night car ride with our mixtape dj lady cab driver.
I had missed the feeling of being loved by my "Phoenix Family" which I was embraced once again by my loved ones back in Phoenix. I am blessed by my family of the phoenix arts community who shared the desert as their roots of being raised in the dry and ever intense sun. We are bound, just like the love of my blood family, to each other in our similar upbringings, the environment which encouraged our curiosity to quest and inspired and our creative flow: the passion of their truest soul.
I went home for my 30th birthday, March 9th I arrived, and the next day I awoke to go run on my favorite mountain of the South Mountains for a birthday grounding in the Vortex of Phoenix. Although I knew people typically place so much attention on the birthday factors, I personally made it a quest for myself to place attention on this day because I was prepared for the changes that needed and are currently are in transition from happening currently. What I set out for experience while in Arizona was not anything I could have planned for, so I just went with what I had to share of my past few years experiences, and the honesty of my complete brokenness and desperate need for my family and friends to remind me of my core. Somewhere, somehow, I had lost the remembrance of my roots: that fire within which the bird Phoenix was thrown and from whence it came, rising from the flames, blackend as a reminder of the experience. I somehow lost my personal passion after the first year which I was here, eeing life through different lenses, but so similar to the ones through which I came here looking at my environment with the eyes of a child, innocent, naive, pure, unjaded by the knowledge of my adult self. Now it seems like I am finding this purpose once again but at the same time, I realized that the experiences of the past few years have actually been teaching me lessons to grow and learn from, essential for my next adventures. I understand growing pains now, stretch marks and scars. They all tell the story of our past into present internal growth which shows on the physical appearance. Sometimes I feel like I haven't changed a bit since the girl who was 15, 15 years ago! I am so grateful for my little sister gave me her hand-me-down orange booty shorts and I put these 'cause I wanted the vitamin D to soak up into my as much skin as much as I could have it. I rode my bike from Columbia City up to Cap Hill, through downtown and around the Hemp Fest madness, over to Ballard Farmer's Market, and magically teleported back home.
This was today's mix from earliest songs to the pre going out on a Monday night. I'm trying to get some work done but keep getting distracted by the music all around me. I have to write the musical messages down and maybe share a video or two....
Lauryn Hill-Adam Lives in Theory
Chrisette Michelle -I Am
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Raheem DeVaughn- The Love Experience
Sly & Robbie - Murder She Wrote
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic
Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad
I loved real, real hard once, But the love wasn't returned. Found out the man I'd die for, He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man And if you've ever been in love, Then you'd understand
What you want might make you cry What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it, If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it, If you just let it
See, I thought this feeling It was all that I had
But how could this be love And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power, I existed for you. But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man. And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
Mad Cobra- Flex
Michael - Billy Jean
She Was More Like A Beauty Queen From A Movie Scene I Said Don't Mind, But What Do You Mean I Am The One Who Will Dance On The Floor In The Round
People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do and Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts. Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love and Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth. So Take My Strong Advice, Just Remember To Always Think Twice. Do think Twice
Anthony Hamilton - do you feel me
Sitting at Vitta tonight for my 8:30 PM cup of joe to wake my mind to creativity and production, I hear these once very influencial pop diva songs of my aspiring
When this album came out - i had a tape and would listen to this in headphones for my lullabyes. talk about early rock "star-child" Sam would call me Starchild when I didn't see myself the way others did, I'm not sure if I even know this starchild inside, but the pieces are starting to make sense as the years go on.
Madonna - Starlight Starlight
It's no wonder that most of the people I spend my time with now are children of the MTV 80's-90's pop culture. Watching Madonna videos was like going to church for our generation's religion. When this video came out, I remember being in a frustrated position from the division of my childhood by not only a divorce, but a loss of the roots in my life which held me to my personal core. I, so to speak, grew up in maturity and lost that innocent glow as young as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, my knowledge of heartache and loss through the transitions of our family, impacted me more than I realize in understanding relationships at an early age. Somehow, the years are reteaching me what it is to have a relationship and who I bring into my life.
Madonna- Like a Prayer
God?
When you call my name, it's like a little Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your Power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing. I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like Flying. I close my eyes, oh God, I think I'm Falling, out of the sky. I close my eyes, Heaven Help me.
Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control just like a child, now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me, it's like a dream. Let the choir sing.
Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like Home.
Riding my bike yesterday through the Central District off of 18th I passed Reverend Ricky Willis's congregation singing praise his words, I first stopped to take a picture of this church, then heard the message he was sharing. Thank you Jesus, I have heard the words.
I remember that my mother went to the En Vogue concert and brought me back a t-shirt. I felt slighted, and offended that I was "too young" to go. I think I knew my sensuality at a very young person. This was just another moment in my growth as a girl into a woman.
Madonna- Rescue Me:
Adele -Chasing Pavements
Whoa I've never seen this video until I heard the song and Utubed it - no wonder that I thought of this song recently as I was walking through the streets of Seattle, "hitting the pavement" for yet another attempt of finding that "dream" career.They are dancing in a groove of trees. Hum, this is another white rabbit if you ask me. ;)
When I moved here nearly 3 years ago in September, I came with my newly acquired paper of degree, a year of exploration of the globe, and years of exploration of my mind, body heart and soul. In search of a new place to lay my head at first, and hopefully my roots through the newly acquired professional life. I told myself I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I wanted to focus on my career, on finding that perfect position in the nonprofit sector. I put off developing the relationships with loved ones for the past 3 years. Because of the time being back with those who know me truest, I have a refreshed understanding of what my focus is at this time in my life.
I keep to my silly girl roots, with a wealth of experience and understanding brought by the loved ones, heartache and the renewal of life through the loss of these loved ones turned into an experience to appreciate. Gotta keep it simple and have fun with my life while I'm living it.
A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum
Erykah Badu - On & ON
Musiq Soulchild - Who Knows
Salt n Peppa-
It's time to go out atain with the roommie - here's another for the diva anthems.
Heading out into the Seattle Supersonic Spaceplayground!
Remembering that I gotta keep my head up, 15 years later in life, still feeling age 15 and reminded by these early roots of hip hop.
The Seattle Summer sun was shining, though as it sometimes is for my days, my morning felt a bit foggy. This week seemed to whirl by me, with lots of confusion: starting with the loss of my phone for since last Thursday up until this Friday, I was back to feeling completely out of communication with the world and most especially I felt the distance from my roots of "home".
Once again, I have left my roots to be in another space in time. Now more than ever I am slowing down to appreciate my current existence, no matter the time nor location within which I stay in that space, I strive to maintain a moment focus in all the activities of my awake and sleep states. Cherishing the sunrise, with the loved ones whom i explore the light of the day, the sunset, with the loved ones who will walk along side or sometimes from ahead guiding the light through the darkness of the night breaking through to daylight (I think I heard lyrics like this from a Coldplay song).
It has now been a month since I've returned to Seattle: back to wandering and exploring this incredible city. I have been remembering the past every day as the future comes into present. The five months of March through July were spent reestablishing "home." The time I was in Phoenix seemed to also whirl by: mostly because I was constantly on the go, sometimes riding here and there on my Raleigh Robinhood [which kinda looks like this
Thanks to homepage.ntlworld.com I couldn't find any pic's with me on my bike!] I was active in being inspired by the creativity that was all around me through the continual production of each of my loved one's current life's art. Working on the ever continual project which I have now come to visibly able to share with my confidants and now the interwebs in the infancy stage of development.
I have been working on lots of projects throughout all of my life, never a dull moment or free time to reset. Most especially during this last year, I have been obsessed with the production of my current project and the present artistic creations. I am continuing on my dream of the past few years, enjoying now that these dreams are somehow coming to a present space. It is almost like I am living in my dream land: as if it is the reality in which I live - does this mean my dreams are coming true?
It was quite the wake up call, being back home. My friends and loved ones, how can I even begin to write my thoughts and the experiences of the past few months to express my gratitude for the hospitality for a weary traveler: a bed, hammock, and pool patio furniture to rest my head under the desert sky. For the companionship along a street wander through downtown, a bike ride, or late night car ride with our mixtape dj lady cab driver.
I had missed the feeling of being loved by my "Phoenix Family" which I was embraced once again by my loved ones back in Phoenix. I am blessed by my family of the phoenix arts community who shared the desert as their roots of being raised in the dry and ever intense sun. We are bound, just like the love of my blood family, to each other in our similar upbringings, the environment which encouraged our curiosity to quest and inspired and our creative flow: the passion of their truest soul.
I went home for my 30th birthday, March 9th I arrived, and the next day I awoke to go run on my favorite mountain of the South Mountains for a birthday grounding in the Vortex of Phoenix. Although I knew people typically place so much attention on the birthday factors, I personally made it a quest for myself to place attention on this day because I was prepared for the changes that needed and are currently are in transition from happening currently. What I set out for experience while in Arizona was not anything I could have planned for, so I just went with what I had to share of my past few years experiences, and the honesty of my complete brokenness and desperate need for my family and friends to remind me of my core. Somewhere, somehow, I had lost the remembrance of my roots: that fire within which the bird Phoenix was thrown and from whence it came, rising from the flames, blackend as a reminder of the experience. I somehow lost my personal passion after the first year which I was here, eeing life through different lenses, but so similar to the ones through which I came here looking at my environment with the eyes of a child, innocent, naive, pure, unjaded by the knowledge of my adult self. Now it seems like I am finding this purpose once again but at the same time, I realized that the experiences of the past few years have actually been teaching me lessons to grow and learn from, essential for my next adventures. I understand growing pains now, stretch marks and scars. They all tell the story of our past into present internal growth which shows on the physical appearance. Sometimes I feel like I haven't changed a bit since the girl who was 15, 15 years ago! I am so grateful for my little sister gave me her hand-me-down orange booty shorts and I put these 'cause I wanted the vitamin D to soak up into my as much skin as much as I could have it. I rode my bike from Columbia City up to Cap Hill, through downtown and around the Hemp Fest madness, over to Ballard Farmer's Market, and magically teleported back home.
This was today's mix from earliest songs to the pre going out on a Monday night. I'm trying to get some work done but keep getting distracted by the music all around me. I have to write the musical messages down and maybe share a video or two....
Lauryn Hill-Adam Lives in Theory
Chrisette Michelle -I Am
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Raheem DeVaughn- The Love Experience
Sly & Robbie - Murder She Wrote
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic
Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad
I loved real, real hard once, But the love wasn't returned. Found out the man I'd die for, He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man And if you've ever been in love, Then you'd understand
What you want might make you cry What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it, If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it, If you just let it
See, I thought this feeling It was all that I had
But how could this be love And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power, I existed for you. But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man. And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
Mad Cobra- Flex
Michael - Billy Jean
She Was More Like A Beauty Queen From A Movie Scene I Said Don't Mind, But What Do You Mean I Am The One Who Will Dance On The Floor In The Round
People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do and Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts. Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love and Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth. So Take My Strong Advice, Just Remember To Always Think Twice. Do think Twice
Anthony Hamilton - do you feel me
Sitting at Vitta tonight for my 8:30 PM cup of joe to wake my mind to creativity and production, I hear these once very influencial pop diva songs of my aspiring
When this album came out - i had a tape and would listen to this in headphones for my lullabyes. talk about early rock "star-child" Sam would call me Starchild when I didn't see myself the way others did, I'm not sure if I even know this starchild inside, but the pieces are starting to make sense as the years go on.
Madonna - Starlight Starlight
It's no wonder that most of the people I spend my time with now are children of the MTV 80's-90's pop culture. Watching Madonna videos was like going to church for our generation's religion. When this video came out, I remember being in a frustrated position from the division of my childhood by not only a divorce, but a loss of the roots in my life which held me to my personal core. I, so to speak, grew up in maturity and lost that innocent glow as young as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, my knowledge of heartache and loss through the transitions of our family, impacted me more than I realize in understanding relationships at an early age. Somehow, the years are reteaching me what it is to have a relationship and who I bring into my life.
Madonna- Like a Prayer
God?
When you call my name, it's like a little Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your Power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing. I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like Flying. I close my eyes, oh God, I think I'm Falling, out of the sky. I close my eyes, Heaven Help me.
Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control just like a child, now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me, it's like a dream. Let the choir sing.
Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like Home.
Riding my bike yesterday through the Central District off of 18th I passed Reverend Ricky Willis's congregation singing praise his words, I first stopped to take a picture of this church, then heard the message he was sharing. Thank you Jesus, I have heard the words.
I remember that my mother went to the En Vogue concert and brought me back a t-shirt. I felt slighted, and offended that I was "too young" to go. I think I knew my sensuality at a very young person. This was just another moment in my growth as a girl into a woman.
Madonna- Rescue Me:
Adele -Chasing Pavements
Whoa I've never seen this video until I heard the song and Utubed it - no wonder that I thought of this song recently as I was walking through the streets of Seattle, "hitting the pavement" for yet another attempt of finding that "dream" career.They are dancing in a groove of trees. Hum, this is another white rabbit if you ask me. ;)
When I moved here nearly 3 years ago in September, I came with my newly acquired paper of degree, a year of exploration of the globe, and years of exploration of my mind, body heart and soul. In search of a new place to lay my head at first, and hopefully my roots through the newly acquired professional life. I told myself I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I wanted to focus on my career, on finding that perfect position in the nonprofit sector. I put off developing the relationships with loved ones for the past 3 years. Because of the time being back with those who know me truest, I have a refreshed understanding of what my focus is at this time in my life.
I keep to my silly girl roots, with a wealth of experience and understanding brought by the loved ones, heartache and the renewal of life through the loss of these loved ones turned into an experience to appreciate. Gotta keep it simple and have fun with my life while I'm living it.
A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum
Erykah Badu - On & ON
Musiq Soulchild - Who Knows
Salt n Peppa-
It's time to go out atain with the roommie - here's another for the diva anthems.
Heading out into the Seattle Supersonic Spaceplayground!
Remembering that I gotta keep my head up, 15 years later in life, still feeling age 15 and reminded by these early roots of hip hop.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Robots
Attempting to stay focused while my loaner Toshiba reminds me that it's been a couple years since the last computer meltdown and Now is the time to uP grade! Oh robots how you rule our lives!!
A little Flaming Lips to sooth my technological troubles,a fittin Sherm song over the cafe's airwaves.
Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body
'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
A little Flaming Lips to sooth my technological troubles,a fittin Sherm song over the cafe's airwaves.
Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body
'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
Monday, August 1, 2011
summer adventures with my daddy
Blowing Dandelions with my nephew Koston last summer was the highlight of my summer. Simple things in life ;)
That's me sad face blowing dandelions found off the road during an adventure with my daddy and the mad man via Utah country backroads
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sherm songs
As I ordered my Americano to sit for a while at Fremont Coffee Company, on this rainy day July 17th, the first few words that came across the speakers brought streams of tears down my cheeks. These songs came across radio waves today, I call them my Sherm Songs.
Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.
I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.
Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.
This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.
I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.
When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.
Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.
But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.
Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.
If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.
I guess we'll just have to adjust.
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.
You'd better look out below.
Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.
I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.
So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.
Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.
I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.
As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.
Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.
I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.
Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.
This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.
I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.
When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.
Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.
But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.
Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.
If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.
I guess we'll just have to adjust.
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.
You'd better look out below.
Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.
I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.
So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.
Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.
I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.
As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Good morning rainy songs
This morning I awoke with a beautiful friend. We have been soul sisters since we met15 years ago. This was one of my most favorite songs with I was just a young thang, still feeling the melody, the echo of the voice gives me tingly back and happy belly feelings.
Another white rabbit song coming through pandora, words of wisdom this morning, reminding us of the past, looking forward to the future. Remaining focused on the present.
2 years ago tomorrow I lost a dear soul mate, I feel his presence in the present, he is with me always, just as my dear ones still on this physical plane: when we are seperated by distance, spiritually we are together.
So grateful for this beautiful moment in time.
Another white rabbit song coming through pandora, words of wisdom this morning, reminding us of the past, looking forward to the future. Remaining focused on the present.
2 years ago tomorrow I lost a dear soul mate, I feel his presence in the present, he is with me always, just as my dear ones still on this physical plane: when we are seperated by distance, spiritually we are together.
So grateful for this beautiful moment in time.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Explode like a Star in the Sky
Explosions in the sky
"The Only Moment We Were Alone"
This song. This video is exactly what I see and feel when the chords and tones ring through my head. I think one of the first times I truly listened to this song was with a new loved one who reminded me that listening to music is being present in the moment, that taking long drives to the suburbs calms my racing mind, and sticking my head out of the window to watch the sun, the trees, the mountains go by during a car ride enlivens my soul. I am here right now, I am living in the present, enjoying all that is around me and all who shares creativity, love and support during these pivotal times in our lives.
"Nothing hurt and everything was beautiful"
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut
Loving what has come from the past, accepting the changes and moving forward. I am forever grateful for the loved ones in my life who remind me of my present and encourage my greatness. May I continue to radiate that same love and support to others in my life.
Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand In Mine
For a very long time I have been saying that at some point when I have done all that I am here to do, I will explode like a star in the sky. Perhaps with a little more yoga, and a mountain top ;) Until then, I'm here to do grand things ;)
Explode like a Star in the Sky
Explosions in the sky
"The Only Moment We Were Alone"
http://youtu.be/nzj-ksNOMfU
This song. This video is exactly what I see and feel when the chords and tones ring through my head. I think one of the first times I truly listened to this song was with a new loved one who reminded me that listening to music is being present in the moment, that taking long drives to the suburbs calms my racing mind, and sticking my head out of the window to watch the sun, the trees, the mountains go by during a car ride enlivens my soul. I am here right now, I am living in the present, enjoying all that is around me and all who shares creativity, love and support during these pivotal times in our lives.
"Nothing hurt and everything was beautiful"
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut
Loving what has come from the past, accepting the changes and moving forward. I am forever grateful for the loved ones in my life who remind me of my present and encourage my greatness. May I continue to radiate that same love and support to others in my life.
Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand In Mine
http://youtu.be/36U4ez7AzKA
For a very long time I have been saying that at some point when I have done all that I am here to do, I hope to explode like a star in the sky. Perhaps with a little more yoga, and a mountain top ;) Until then, I'm here to do grand things ;)
"The Only Moment We Were Alone"
http://youtu.be/nzj-ksNOMfU
This song. This video is exactly what I see and feel when the chords and tones ring through my head. I think one of the first times I truly listened to this song was with a new loved one who reminded me that listening to music is being present in the moment, that taking long drives to the suburbs calms my racing mind, and sticking my head out of the window to watch the sun, the trees, the mountains go by during a car ride enlivens my soul. I am here right now, I am living in the present, enjoying all that is around me and all who shares creativity, love and support during these pivotal times in our lives.
"Nothing hurt and everything was beautiful"
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Kurt_Vonnegut
Loving what has come from the past, accepting the changes and moving forward. I am forever grateful for the loved ones in my life who remind me of my present and encourage my greatness. May I continue to radiate that same love and support to others in my life.
Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand In Mine
http://youtu.be/36U4ez7AzKA
For a very long time I have been saying that at some point when I have done all that I am here to do, I hope to explode like a star in the sky. Perhaps with a little more yoga, and a mountain top ;) Until then, I'm here to do grand things ;)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Radiohead - Kid A - Treefingers
Thank you Tatyana for the inspirational installation this past weekend at Bragg's Pie Factory http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127421603998682
looking forward to time to meditate under the tree to this song soon.
Radiohead is my Religion ;)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Planes, trains, busses and high fructose corn syrup
For the past 3 years of travel via planes, trains and busses, I have come to understand a humanity which understandably is guarded for personal protection. In Seattle, at the bus stop, I read a "how to ride safely" signage: one of the most important deterrents they suggested was by the encouragement of headphones. It was all news to me- don't get me wrong, I love my music and zoning out when I am on the bus, though I can only think of all the sounds I miss while riding on the bus, exploring the ever inspiring cities. We are all in our bubble, head bubble. The people we meet along our travels on our many paths are for a reason.
Thank you to my friend Silvano who has traveled with me in India's buses and rickshaws. We smiled and talked with others on the bus, and we didn't even speak the same language ;)
Tout va pour le mieux dans le métro de New York
Thank you to my friend Silvano who has traveled with me in India's buses and rickshaws. We smiled and talked with others on the bus, and we didn't even speak the same language ;)
Tout va pour le mieux dans le métro de New York
Saturday, April 30, 2011
DJ Shadow - Midnight In A Perfect World
Midnite to sunrise, in the city. inspiration to continue forward.
Musical thoughts
I've never seen the video before now, posting it now so I can watch it again and again. Love this song, beats running through my veins.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Just feeling like a Diva this morning.
Dancin in my hallway, singing in the shower. Ate fresh picked grapefruit from my tree in the backyard, lots of beautiful friends and family. Creativity is the force!
R E S P E C T to the utmost:
R E S P E C T to the utmost:
Monday, April 18, 2011
Be the Change You wish to See in the World
Gandhi's infamous quote is engraved on the pendant which I wear around my neck. Ever grateful for the reminder.
A few videos that came across the Facebook land recently:
Spreading light through music:
I keep on keepin on ;)
A few videos that came across the Facebook land recently:
Spreading light through music:
I keep on keepin on ;)
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Full Moon a coming!
I'm feeling it, of course, the full moon approaching. I am female goddessness and the tides are pulling this restless fish back to her ocean home, with every phase of the moon's monthly change, so do I feel my energetic pulse.
I'll be doing yoga this coming full moon - April 18th on the hills of the Papago Park preserve, directly off of College & Curry off of Scottsdale and the 202.
It is a Monday evening, so I'll be gathering for the sunset yoga from 6 till sunset, then meditating to the rising moon thereafter. If there are any other events around town to celebrate the full moon, I'll be finding them ;) Otherwise, there will be full moon dancing and hiking, perhaps a potluck of generous treats to share for all who want to participate.
Here's a big more info about this moon's phase!
I found this site MoonTracks to follow the moon phase, I sure love this gazing into the night sky, becoming mesmerized by the guidance of that big ball in the sky.
http://www.moontracks.com/monthlymoonphase.php
Just as relative is the moon to the sun, this month with the sun in Pisces then Aires and moon in Virgo, we are embracing a transition into a Libra moon, continuing on with the Aires sun into Taurus.
To read more about it, I like what Astrogrrl posts on her blog following is a little snippet and if you want to read more, the links are attached below.
The sun's influence this month: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/03/sun-in-aries-march-20-to-april-20-2011.html#axzz1Jg0K6Kn8
What does this full moon bring for this month?
Full moons signify the completion, culmination of what may have been initiated during the previous new moon in Aries which encouraged us to just do it! This Full Moon in Libra casts a spotlight on our relationships (with one another as well as with ourselves), our value system (what we value in life and why), and our worth (materially and spiritually speaking). In our relationships with others, the Libra-Full Moon may be shining upon issues about balancing the identity of the individual self with the shared self -- being in relationships without losing who we are and being brave enough to be in relationships without compromising our core values or silencing our voices/desires for the sake of another.
Elsewhere in the sky during this full moon, Saturn (reality/commitment), who is also in Libra, is locked in a challenging alignment with Mercury (thought/communication) who is in Libra's opposite sign, Aries. Both planets are retrograde (introspective). We may very well have love and relationships on the mind -- the relationship we have or wish we had, the commitment and hard work that goes in to a fostering healthy connections, and/or how our relationships have changed us -- for ill or for good.
Read more: http://www.astrogrrl.com/2011/04/full-moon-in-libra-april-17-2011.html#ixzz1JgE0Iuyz
Original content by Jan | astrogrrl
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Friday, April 15, 2011
late night Sherm songs
So as I lay me down to sleep.....
or sit in my bed, with thoughts that are running through my head
creativity comes to me in the late night, obsession about projects and ideas keeping me up till the early morning light.
I call days like these my white rabbits, (and will be posting them to that site, just a bit TMI for this post I think) All of the people that I somehow come into meeting and the experiences I have are reminding me that I am living presently and on the path of where I need to be. So grateful that I am surrounded by incredible artists, musicians: all creatively inspirational individuals. `I know like attracts like, but also I know there is no coincidence for what I have gone through, the people whom I have opened my heart to sharing myself with, and vice versa. I reflect on the full of life experiences that I am continually surrounded by my soul family consciously collective loved ones. in this constellation of a not so vast universe.
These songs are what I call Sherman songs. Oh Sherm, how I love your presence. At present, I have yet to share in this blog a playlist of my beloved singing to me from not so far away though most of my inspiration for writing these days comes from reflection on the white rabbits in my life. I'm not afraid to share them now. In the beginning, I knew it was him. Days after his body passed from this earth, I couldn't stop noticing the coincidences of the songs which I would hear driving in a car, then out at a shop, or when I was at home with my random player pulling up songs so closely related to him. I started to understand it was not just coincidence. I would share with friends and family that Sherm was talking with me and I'm pretty sure everyone thought it was just more of Ashley's talking crazy talk.
Expression of our talents is endless with support from those who appreciate the arts. Today was especially inspirational for me. During the day I met with my musical friend, his inspiration is fueling some current projects. I am so grateful for this present moment when my teter is moving from the past to the present moment mark and further to the other side of the tipping point. My evening was spent with friends at the RawArtist event downtown, supporting the gathering of musicians, artists and how we all collectively gather to appreciate art. Thereafter in my late night owl times I went to a neighborhood gathering amongst one of my most favorite groups of living artists who unite every week at the Blunt Club. Tonight, was a special evening where I felt the outpouring of love in support of a child Noah Stout. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=137627986310669
How blessed I am that I am embraced by the unconditional love of a friendship with so many special people, my Tempe-Phx brothas and sistas, a family constellation within this graspable universe.
OHere's what came to my ear waves at the end of my. I like to read the lyrics or just close my eyes and see the light of the stars align amongst the darkness of the inside of my head.
Radiohead Polyurathane
Go.
Disjointed we scare ourselves with all that we wanna be.
Just got paid and now you’re going, how long should you be?
If I get scared, I just call you.
And i, miss your glow as I unsettle,
Oh I’ll always feel, I’ll always be.
Right.
One, two, three, four.
So sell your suit and tie, and come and live with me.
Leukemia, schizophrenia, polyethylene.
There is no significant risk to your health.
She used to be beautiful once as well.
Plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene.
Decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean.
If you don’t believe in it, sell your soul.
If you don’t get into it, no one will.
Oh...... oh........
Yeah Yeah Yeahs Runaway
I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want keep you inside
Run, run, run away
Lost, lost, lost my mind
Want you to stay
Want you to be my prize
All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Hold on tight.
All along, not that strong without these open arms.
Lie beside.
All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Ride beside.
I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want to keep you inside
At night they would go walking ‘till the breaking of the day,
The morning is for sleeping…
Through the dark streets they go searching to see God in their own way,
Save the nighttime for your weeping…
Your weeping…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, hey…
So we rode down to the river where the toiling ghosts spring,
For their curses to be broken…
We’d go underneath the arches where the witches are in the saying,
There are ghost towns in the ocean…
The ocean…
[Cemeteries Of London Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…
God is in the houses and God is in my head… and all the cemeteries in London…
I see God come in my garden, but I don’t know what he said,
For my heart it wasn’t open….
Not open…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
There’s no light over London today…
Beetles Don't Let me down comes on directly after Cemetaries of London by Coldplay. Really Sherm. I start to feel like: "what?!" what am i supposed to do with this? I know, mon raison d'etre, l'amour de ma vie, in my life we shared the most pure love. I learned how to love unconditionally when you shared your life and then your death with me. I am reminded that as I settle my head into my pillow, lying in bed with memories, every person whom I have shared my heart and soul with, knows me this true, though i have never experienced such a loss, as loosing the life of my dearly beloved Sherm.
When I need to bring it all back to center, music brings me there. It reminds me that my connection to spirit is beyond this earth oftentimes, and before I explode into the sky like a star (something I've posted many a time previous to this), I will meditate on death, then on life.
Karma Police:
Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in myths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo is
Making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party
This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us
Karma police
I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Endless tears come to my eyes as I hear the words which are so true of the past many years that I have been in search of myself, lost myself, and just when I feel I have found it again something devastating happens, I loose a soul mate.
The years past have been difficult to get over, and daily I work on myself through yoga, healthful foods, and hopefully surrounding myself with people who respect and support me because they know me true. When I return to the center of Tempe amongst my dear friends, my soul brothas and sistas, it hits me that I know I am not alone, even amongst a crowd of people sometimes I feel alone, though Sherm is always with me, as I am always with others in physical presence, we are all together in spiritual presence.
A day filled with new opportunities as I continually find myself amongst artists and musicians, I am reminded that this project BanyanTri is being supported and will continually be supported by others because it is organically already happening http://banyantri.wordpress.com/banyantri-houses/ By sharing space and appreciating the talents through supporting events around town, we continue to support the artistic community. This is what I am here to share and do, I am ready.
This day and night has come to an end as I finish writing these words, expressing what was on my mind, and letting it rest. I am excited for the projects that are budding right now during this beautiful sunny spring time in Arizona. I will accept the time it takes for them to come to fruition, with effort, then surrender.
If you can, lie down and meditate to this one with your eyes closed. Let the wave of sound rush over your body and take you to a higher place within the connection of spirit.
Explosions in the Sky The only moment we were alone
or sit in my bed, with thoughts that are running through my head
creativity comes to me in the late night, obsession about projects and ideas keeping me up till the early morning light.
I call days like these my white rabbits, (and will be posting them to that site, just a bit TMI for this post I think) All of the people that I somehow come into meeting and the experiences I have are reminding me that I am living presently and on the path of where I need to be. So grateful that I am surrounded by incredible artists, musicians: all creatively inspirational individuals. `I know like attracts like, but also I know there is no coincidence for what I have gone through, the people whom I have opened my heart to sharing myself with, and vice versa. I reflect on the full of life experiences that I am continually surrounded by my soul family consciously collective loved ones. in this constellation of a not so vast universe.
These songs are what I call Sherman songs. Oh Sherm, how I love your presence. At present, I have yet to share in this blog a playlist of my beloved singing to me from not so far away though most of my inspiration for writing these days comes from reflection on the white rabbits in my life. I'm not afraid to share them now. In the beginning, I knew it was him. Days after his body passed from this earth, I couldn't stop noticing the coincidences of the songs which I would hear driving in a car, then out at a shop, or when I was at home with my random player pulling up songs so closely related to him. I started to understand it was not just coincidence. I would share with friends and family that Sherm was talking with me and I'm pretty sure everyone thought it was just more of Ashley's talking crazy talk.
Expression of our talents is endless with support from those who appreciate the arts. Today was especially inspirational for me. During the day I met with my musical friend, his inspiration is fueling some current projects. I am so grateful for this present moment when my teter is moving from the past to the present moment mark and further to the other side of the tipping point. My evening was spent with friends at the RawArtist event downtown, supporting the gathering of musicians, artists and how we all collectively gather to appreciate art. Thereafter in my late night owl times I went to a neighborhood gathering amongst one of my most favorite groups of living artists who unite every week at the Blunt Club. Tonight, was a special evening where I felt the outpouring of love in support of a child Noah Stout. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=137627986310669
How blessed I am that I am embraced by the unconditional love of a friendship with so many special people, my Tempe-Phx brothas and sistas, a family constellation within this graspable universe.
OHere's what came to my ear waves at the end of my. I like to read the lyrics or just close my eyes and see the light of the stars align amongst the darkness of the inside of my head.
Radiohead Polyurathane
Go.
Disjointed we scare ourselves with all that we wanna be.
Just got paid and now you’re going, how long should you be?
If I get scared, I just call you.
And i, miss your glow as I unsettle,
Oh I’ll always feel, I’ll always be.
Right.
One, two, three, four.
So sell your suit and tie, and come and live with me.
Leukemia, schizophrenia, polyethylene.
There is no significant risk to your health.
She used to be beautiful once as well.
Plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene.
Decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean.
If you don’t believe in it, sell your soul.
If you don’t get into it, no one will.
Oh...... oh........
Yeah Yeah Yeahs Runaway
I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want keep you inside
Run, run, run away
Lost, lost, lost my mind
Want you to stay
Want you to be my prize
All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Hold on tight.
All along, not that strong without these open arms.
Lie beside.
All along, not so strong without these open arms.
Ride beside.
I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want to keep you inside
At night they would go walking ‘till the breaking of the day,
The morning is for sleeping…
Through the dark streets they go searching to see God in their own way,
Save the nighttime for your weeping…
Your weeping…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, hey…
So we rode down to the river where the toiling ghosts spring,
For their curses to be broken…
We’d go underneath the arches where the witches are in the saying,
There are ghost towns in the ocean…
The ocean…
[Cemeteries Of London Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…
God is in the houses and God is in my head… and all the cemeteries in London…
I see God come in my garden, but I don’t know what he said,
For my heart it wasn’t open….
Not open…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
And the night over London, ey…
Singing la lalalalala la lé…
There’s no light over London today…
Beetles Don't Let me down comes on directly after Cemetaries of London by Coldplay. Really Sherm. I start to feel like: "what?!" what am i supposed to do with this? I know, mon raison d'etre, l'amour de ma vie, in my life we shared the most pure love. I learned how to love unconditionally when you shared your life and then your death with me. I am reminded that as I settle my head into my pillow, lying in bed with memories, every person whom I have shared my heart and soul with, knows me this true, though i have never experienced such a loss, as loosing the life of my dearly beloved Sherm.
When I need to bring it all back to center, music brings me there. It reminds me that my connection to spirit is beyond this earth oftentimes, and before I explode into the sky like a star (something I've posted many a time previous to this), I will meditate on death, then on life.
Karma Police:
Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in myths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio
Karma police, arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo is
Making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party
This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us
Karma police
I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Endless tears come to my eyes as I hear the words which are so true of the past many years that I have been in search of myself, lost myself, and just when I feel I have found it again something devastating happens, I loose a soul mate.
The years past have been difficult to get over, and daily I work on myself through yoga, healthful foods, and hopefully surrounding myself with people who respect and support me because they know me true. When I return to the center of Tempe amongst my dear friends, my soul brothas and sistas, it hits me that I know I am not alone, even amongst a crowd of people sometimes I feel alone, though Sherm is always with me, as I am always with others in physical presence, we are all together in spiritual presence.
A day filled with new opportunities as I continually find myself amongst artists and musicians, I am reminded that this project BanyanTri is being supported and will continually be supported by others because it is organically already happening http://banyantri.wordpress.com/banyantri-houses/ By sharing space and appreciating the talents through supporting events around town, we continue to support the artistic community. This is what I am here to share and do, I am ready.
This day and night has come to an end as I finish writing these words, expressing what was on my mind, and letting it rest. I am excited for the projects that are budding right now during this beautiful sunny spring time in Arizona. I will accept the time it takes for them to come to fruition, with effort, then surrender.
If you can, lie down and meditate to this one with your eyes closed. Let the wave of sound rush over your body and take you to a higher place within the connection of spirit.
Explosions in the Sky The only moment we were alone
Monday, April 11, 2011
women Wo Man
I am going to a gathering for women this evening, and my task was to bring something that signifies womanhood to me. When I think of what it means to embrace my feminine energy or bring something to the table so to speak, my mind threw a blank. It is difficult to describe with words what I live throughout my life as a woman.
What is it to be a woman? I question this fairly regularly. Mostly because I have now entered the next decade of my life, no longer am I in my twenties. I am a 30 year old woman. Younger, early twenties-somethings call me 'maam, but don't worry, I get on my soap box of what a woman should be called, I prefer madamoiselle or chica (both which oftentimes have a more sexual connotation so not to be concerned, my feminine activist self is not encouraging the slang use of the words, I find it kind because of my experiences when I was traveling in Ecuador and Argentina: shop keepers and cafe servers would greet us with Hola Chica! I loved that!) Lioness.Queen.Goddess. Sister. these words may better embody the female I am true
Oh this woman. Ms. Badu.
I am surrounded by women. I surround myself with special women, those who have gone through life experiences and who are able to share what makes them vibrant. I feel blessed by each woman who I am fortunate to have in my circle of soulful goddesses.
Presently, I live my life knowing the strength because of my past struggles that I have risen through all the difficulties. Here are just a few female artists amongst many who at one phase of my path to a woman, inspired me to keep going forward.
If you know me, you know my love for Beyonce, isn't this how we young females were all influenced, by the pop divas?
I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor,I'm gonna make it,I will survive, and Keep on survivin'
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity
I forgot the influence this song had on me when I first heard it, though it wasn't until I started to grow my dreads that I understood what hair meant to me. We will see how this all plays into my book someday ;)
I am not my hair, I am not these clothes
I am not your expectations, no
I am the soul that lives within
She has been with me since I learned about my love for music, and my talent of playing the piano has been influenced by Tori since, I am forever grateful for this woman in my life. This song, cliche and popular as it has been over the years, was what helped me to open up as a young teenage girl, budding into being a woman. No longer am I silent all these years. I have been a woman with my voice since I could speak, no one has ever been able to silent this voice, nor will I ever be silenced again.
Oh Ani, how you have connected me to other women in my life. And now I understand your influence in this realm as a female businesswoman, I can continue with strength and determination, believing that my dreams will come true with effort then surrender. When I need to come back to myself, I listen to this song.
i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to
everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry
and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know
i do it for the joy it brings...
Learning about love, this song reminds me of my truest ability to love unconditionally. Thanks Ella.
What is it to be a woman? I question this fairly regularly. Mostly because I have now entered the next decade of my life, no longer am I in my twenties. I am a 30 year old woman. Younger, early twenties-somethings call me 'maam, but don't worry, I get on my soap box of what a woman should be called, I prefer madamoiselle or chica (both which oftentimes have a more sexual connotation so not to be concerned, my feminine activist self is not encouraging the slang use of the words, I find it kind because of my experiences when I was traveling in Ecuador and Argentina: shop keepers and cafe servers would greet us with Hola Chica! I loved that!) Lioness.Queen.Goddess. Sister. these words may better embody the female I am true
Oh this woman. Ms. Badu.
I am surrounded by women. I surround myself with special women, those who have gone through life experiences and who are able to share what makes them vibrant. I feel blessed by each woman who I am fortunate to have in my circle of soulful goddesses.
Presently, I live my life knowing the strength because of my past struggles that I have risen through all the difficulties. Here are just a few female artists amongst many who at one phase of my path to a woman, inspired me to keep going forward.
If you know me, you know my love for Beyonce, isn't this how we young females were all influenced, by the pop divas?
I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor,I'm gonna make it,I will survive, and Keep on survivin'
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity
I forgot the influence this song had on me when I first heard it, though it wasn't until I started to grow my dreads that I understood what hair meant to me. We will see how this all plays into my book someday ;)
I am not my hair, I am not these clothes
I am not your expectations, no
I am the soul that lives within
She has been with me since I learned about my love for music, and my talent of playing the piano has been influenced by Tori since, I am forever grateful for this woman in my life. This song, cliche and popular as it has been over the years, was what helped me to open up as a young teenage girl, budding into being a woman. No longer am I silent all these years. I have been a woman with my voice since I could speak, no one has ever been able to silent this voice, nor will I ever be silenced again.
Oh Ani, how you have connected me to other women in my life. And now I understand your influence in this realm as a female businesswoman, I can continue with strength and determination, believing that my dreams will come true with effort then surrender. When I need to come back to myself, I listen to this song.
i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to
everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry
and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know
i do it for the joy it brings...
Learning about love, this song reminds me of my truest ability to love unconditionally. Thanks Ella.
Monday, April 4, 2011
i heart Tempe-Phx
It's been a couple! Lots to catch up on, been super busy on my project BanyanTri
http://banyantri.wordpress.com/the reason and purpose unexpectedingly yet anticipatingly for this next phase in my life and the path I know I am taking.
Lots of White rabbits lately, so gaining a lot of material for http://whiterabbitwanderland.wordpress.com/ but still not quite ready to let it out of the bag yet. I still have some things to think about on this one.
As for the collaborative process, it is incredible how many of my beautiful soulful brothas and sistas have been coming out at night and finding me amongst the healing skies of the desert we are all interconnected! I have missed the sounds of the train, the beats bopping all over that remind me of the soul of the heat of the desert. I am so blessed to have been back in town for this past 1.5 weeks in Phoenix once again, and now I am already in full force with the BanyanTri projects.
Of course for First Friday art walk in downtown Phoenix, my involvement as a wanderer of the arts for the past 10 years has been transformed into an active participant within a space. Check out what the Women Living With Purpose were up to this past First Friday art walk downtown http://www.facebook.com/womenlivingwithpurpose We started the night off casually with only a few of us, and with expedient female energy we transformed the house into a fluid home to visit by many of the art walk. It was an experience having been created by little hands and feet, a lot of intention and a forward hope for the gathering of numerous people within this space.
I love my Tempe roots to this BanyanTri Life I live! Last night I was a part of a "family dinner" amongst old and new friends. In Seattle I was creating a "family dinner" with those starting intentional communities in the same way. I came to Phoenix with the understanding that my roots are planted here and these are the dear ones of my life. Now having reconnected with so many loved ones, and then embracing the new connections created during the past 2 years in Seattle, I am reminded that I surround myself with others who are also on the same vibration of spiritual consciousness. This gathering inspired the next project I'm going to be producing in the next couple days I'm super excited to be putting my energy into a positively interconnected arena of active and involved friends and family. I'll be posting for this event to come via the BanyanTri page...so stay tuned!!
This gathering reminded me of the gathering I had just experienced amongst new friends in Seattle amongst the friends of the Citta Crew http://cittaflow.com/ who are reminding me that the intentional communities I have began to connect with in Seattle will be there when I return, and that it is through effort and my intention that we can continue to make these special locations thrive.
I am so grateful for the many kind and loving eyes during this time back home in AZ. I have forgotten the unconditional love shared through the love of music amongst friends, in support of these talents we all embrace, sun worshiping daily via bike rides and patio sitting, which is why I'm back here, to remember. I am overcoming the gloom of the winter holding others' hearts hostage during the deep Seattle Freeze and hope to bring back the light and energy of the Valley of the Sun!
http://banyantri.wordpress.com/the reason and purpose unexpectedingly yet anticipatingly for this next phase in my life and the path I know I am taking.
Lots of White rabbits lately, so gaining a lot of material for http://whiterabbitwanderland.wordpress.com/ but still not quite ready to let it out of the bag yet. I still have some things to think about on this one.
As for the collaborative process, it is incredible how many of my beautiful soulful brothas and sistas have been coming out at night and finding me amongst the healing skies of the desert we are all interconnected! I have missed the sounds of the train, the beats bopping all over that remind me of the soul of the heat of the desert. I am so blessed to have been back in town for this past 1.5 weeks in Phoenix once again, and now I am already in full force with the BanyanTri projects.
Of course for First Friday art walk in downtown Phoenix, my involvement as a wanderer of the arts for the past 10 years has been transformed into an active participant within a space. Check out what the Women Living With Purpose were up to this past First Friday art walk downtown http://www.facebook.com/womenlivingwithpurpose We started the night off casually with only a few of us, and with expedient female energy we transformed the house into a fluid home to visit by many of the art walk. It was an experience having been created by little hands and feet, a lot of intention and a forward hope for the gathering of numerous people within this space.
I love my Tempe roots to this BanyanTri Life I live! Last night I was a part of a "family dinner" amongst old and new friends. In Seattle I was creating a "family dinner" with those starting intentional communities in the same way. I came to Phoenix with the understanding that my roots are planted here and these are the dear ones of my life. Now having reconnected with so many loved ones, and then embracing the new connections created during the past 2 years in Seattle, I am reminded that I surround myself with others who are also on the same vibration of spiritual consciousness. This gathering inspired the next project I'm going to be producing in the next couple days I'm super excited to be putting my energy into a positively interconnected arena of active and involved friends and family. I'll be posting for this event to come via the BanyanTri page...so stay tuned!!
This gathering reminded me of the gathering I had just experienced amongst new friends in Seattle amongst the friends of the Citta Crew http://cittaflow.com/ who are reminding me that the intentional communities I have began to connect with in Seattle will be there when I return, and that it is through effort and my intention that we can continue to make these special locations thrive.
I am so grateful for the many kind and loving eyes during this time back home in AZ. I have forgotten the unconditional love shared through the love of music amongst friends, in support of these talents we all embrace, sun worshiping daily via bike rides and patio sitting, which is why I'm back here, to remember. I am overcoming the gloom of the winter holding others' hearts hostage during the deep Seattle Freeze and hope to bring back the light and energy of the Valley of the Sun!
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