Sherm songs

As I ordered my Americano to sit for a while at Fremont Coffee Company, on this rainy day July 17th, the first few words that came across the speakers brought streams of tears down my cheeks. These songs came across radio waves today, I call them my Sherm Songs.


Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.

I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.

Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.



This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.

I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.

When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.



Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.

But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.

Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.

I guess we'll just have to adjust.

With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.

You'd better look out below.


Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.

I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.

So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.

Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.

I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.

As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.