Sometimes I don't realize the Sherm Songs until they are well into their space:
I was searching for YouTube video for a silly birthday gram, and these songs just started to play - how does it happen? This is what I needed today, musical therapy:
Bright Eyes: Here I come back, heavy love, someone gotta share in that heavy load, I'm never gonna move it alone.
Just this morning I was talking with a supportive loved one about being alone and working to make these projects happen, feeling overwhelmed with my continued aspiration for acquiring that next job, that hopeful career, that dream of success in my own art. Projects which weigh heavy on my mind and heart so heavythat I fall asleep dressed for the day and during the day I am dreaming. It is a bit backwards, or is it because I am living the dream right now? This is the storm before the calm, I've been in a whirlwind, dust storm, heat boiling, I've still got energy to move this forward.
Burial, Four Tet + Thom Yorke - Ego (New 2011 track)
Radiohead - Codex
It takes a note, a sound, the piano keys and the tones of his voice, to calm my heart. This song reminds me of driving with my cous at the beginning of my 30th year, freshly into my wanderings in pursuit of my mental clarity. This is an interesting thought, mental clarity,
Just Slight of Hand, Jump off the edge, into a clear lake, no one's around. Just Dragon Fly. The water's clear, says Thom
Sometimes I get so upset over the silliest things, and then a sweet person reminds me of the sweetness inside of me, through the simplest things, and I feel renewed.
The Shins
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Belong
Really, now this would only make sense.....lessons from the songs shared. Slow down.
Falling out of Reach - Guillemots
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9-11 10 years later
Astral Travels thorough sound and space:
I'm so removed from POP culture, thanks to my 14 year old sis Jadey, I've heard this once or twice, lyrics of radio songs keep sharing the messages
[B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams or Paramore]
Can we pretend that Airplanes In the midnight sky
Are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’ and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion and all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
When you’re staring at that phone in your lap and you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds: you get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel, and they sayin’ what would YOU wish for if you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late: I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight and I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night
Somebody take me back to the days before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank yeah back when I was tryin’ to get a tip at [Harlows!]
So here I stand and then again I say I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes?
i could really use a wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
like shooting stars
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)
The sound of planes still gets me every time. I live under the flight path these days in my little Bungalow, not too far from Boeing Field. The flights from Sea Tac start early, my morning mix tape sounds like this, yoga meditations on the front porch to the energetic movement:
10 years later.
It seems lately I've been doing a lot of introspection about the timeline of my life - 10 years ago I was 20. It all is relevant, we grow, change, experience new environments to live within and amongst new friends to create our present and future.
Right now I'm fascinated with timelines, perhaps because time keeps moving forward, and I'm oftentimes looking at the past trying to make sense of it all, and hoping for changes for the future, while maintaining the balance of life at present. This details the minute by minute of the events of 9-11 (copy-paste if you want to experience the jet sounds while reading on ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. I was trying to remember my own timeline of that day, waking early to start my new semester at community college, back at the fam's house after returning from my first adventure in Seattle from Feb-Aug 2000, it was another big transition for my personal life, and just when I was attempting to have some forward movement and progression to a stable live-work-play, the world's catastrophes seemed to be overwhelming me.
I awoke today at about the same time that I did that day, slightly still in my dream states not quite up yet to face the world. My radio alarm of NPR was blaring the news of the first attack so I flipped on the TV to see what this was all about. My friend Jess called to confirm our carpool for our return to college life- back at Mesa Community College, we rode together to our morning yoga class, in shock of what the morning had held., curious about what was going to happen with the day. It was one of the most emotionless yoga classes I could remember, that I don't remember it at all. I do remember the feeling of walking guiltily around the campus, as though my heart went out to all the other people who have had their lives shortened, turned upside down and affected in proximity to crisis, and the ripples felt beyond. My soul felt the loss that others felt, it was a bizarre sadness I resonated with in compassion for the suffering of others.
Waiting, but yet continuing on with the normal, this is a timeline of some events that were shortened by catastrophe, and others which seemed to continue on as life seems to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closings_and_cancellations_following_the_September_11_attacks
on a lighter note: how bout a simulation flight ;)
Remembering:
I was at my younger brother's ball practice- it was an evening practice, the parents (and supportive sister) were sitting on folding chairs in the middle of suburban bliss: green grassed flood lightened playing fields, watching the routines of their mini's doing what seemed like the normal thing for age 7-11 to be doing. The practice of whistles blowing and young athletes being corralled into organized competition was stopped by a sound which was gone from our skies for a week.
Time seemed to stand still for some, waiting in anticipation, fear of the next, etc. We were all there. For me, the sound of the first plane to resume flying, became one of my most cherished sounds because of this pivotal moment. Everyone on the field stopped in their space. We all stood up from the chairs, raised our heads to the sky in awe that the same craft which knocked down buildings, and knocked down our personal safety walls, was roaring through the sky again, in a sort of victory that we will rise above once again. No surprise that I had returned to Phoenix, during a very pivotal time in not just my own life, but all those around me.
The past 2 summers here in Seattle, the SeaFair is marked by the Blue Angels flying throughout the city for about 3 days. My house rumbles and shakes under the sound of this beautiful meditation from angels above:
As I continue on, as we all continue on, there is a motivating force behind all of our actions. These events took place out of planned, premeditated anticipation. Right now, this song resonnates so strongly: continuing on, not letting anything stand in our way of making it happening.
I fly like paper, get high like planes.
Sometimes I feel sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner now we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler, making my name
Sticks and stones and weed and bones
Life is a Full circle.
I'm so removed from POP culture, thanks to my 14 year old sis Jadey, I've heard this once or twice, lyrics of radio songs keep sharing the messages
[B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams or Paramore]
Can we pretend that Airplanes In the midnight sky
Are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’ and all the glitz and the glam and the fashion and all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
When you’re staring at that phone in your lap and you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds: you get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel, and they sayin’ what would YOU wish for if you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late: I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight and I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night
Somebody take me back to the days before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank yeah back when I was tryin’ to get a tip at [Harlows!]
So here I stand and then again I say I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes?
i could really use a wish right now
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)
like shooting stars
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)
The sound of planes still gets me every time. I live under the flight path these days in my little Bungalow, not too far from Boeing Field. The flights from Sea Tac start early, my morning mix tape sounds like this, yoga meditations on the front porch to the energetic movement:
10 years later.
It seems lately I've been doing a lot of introspection about the timeline of my life - 10 years ago I was 20. It all is relevant, we grow, change, experience new environments to live within and amongst new friends to create our present and future.
Right now I'm fascinated with timelines, perhaps because time keeps moving forward, and I'm oftentimes looking at the past trying to make sense of it all, and hoping for changes for the future, while maintaining the balance of life at present. This details the minute by minute of the events of 9-11 (copy-paste if you want to experience the jet sounds while reading on ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. I was trying to remember my own timeline of that day, waking early to start my new semester at community college, back at the fam's house after returning from my first adventure in Seattle from Feb-Aug 2000, it was another big transition for my personal life, and just when I was attempting to have some forward movement and progression to a stable live-work-play, the world's catastrophes seemed to be overwhelming me.
I awoke today at about the same time that I did that day, slightly still in my dream states not quite up yet to face the world. My radio alarm of NPR was blaring the news of the first attack so I flipped on the TV to see what this was all about. My friend Jess called to confirm our carpool for our return to college life- back at Mesa Community College, we rode together to our morning yoga class, in shock of what the morning had held., curious about what was going to happen with the day. It was one of the most emotionless yoga classes I could remember, that I don't remember it at all. I do remember the feeling of walking guiltily around the campus, as though my heart went out to all the other people who have had their lives shortened, turned upside down and affected in proximity to crisis, and the ripples felt beyond. My soul felt the loss that others felt, it was a bizarre sadness I resonated with in compassion for the suffering of others.
Waiting, but yet continuing on with the normal, this is a timeline of some events that were shortened by catastrophe, and others which seemed to continue on as life seems to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closings_and_cancellations_following_the_September_11_attacks
on a lighter note: how bout a simulation flight ;)
Remembering:
I was at my younger brother's ball practice- it was an evening practice, the parents (and supportive sister) were sitting on folding chairs in the middle of suburban bliss: green grassed flood lightened playing fields, watching the routines of their mini's doing what seemed like the normal thing for age 7-11 to be doing. The practice of whistles blowing and young athletes being corralled into organized competition was stopped by a sound which was gone from our skies for a week.
Time seemed to stand still for some, waiting in anticipation, fear of the next, etc. We were all there. For me, the sound of the first plane to resume flying, became one of my most cherished sounds because of this pivotal moment. Everyone on the field stopped in their space. We all stood up from the chairs, raised our heads to the sky in awe that the same craft which knocked down buildings, and knocked down our personal safety walls, was roaring through the sky again, in a sort of victory that we will rise above once again. No surprise that I had returned to Phoenix, during a very pivotal time in not just my own life, but all those around me.
The past 2 summers here in Seattle, the SeaFair is marked by the Blue Angels flying throughout the city for about 3 days. My house rumbles and shakes under the sound of this beautiful meditation from angels above:
As I continue on, as we all continue on, there is a motivating force behind all of our actions. These events took place out of planned, premeditated anticipation. Right now, this song resonnates so strongly: continuing on, not letting anything stand in our way of making it happening.
I fly like paper, get high like planes.
Sometimes I feel sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner now we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler, making my name
Sticks and stones and weed and bones
Life is a Full circle.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
no surprises..
coincidences? all coming together. dreams. reality. make it so. and so it is.
this is my final
this is my final
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday Funday-start to the week meditations
Yesterday was my Sunday Funday around town:
The Seattle Summer sun was shining, though as it sometimes is for my days, my morning felt a bit foggy. This week seemed to whirl by me, with lots of confusion: starting with the loss of my phone for since last Thursday up until this Friday, I was back to feeling completely out of communication with the world and most especially I felt the distance from my roots of "home".
Once again, I have left my roots to be in another space in time. Now more than ever I am slowing down to appreciate my current existence, no matter the time nor location within which I stay in that space, I strive to maintain a moment focus in all the activities of my awake and sleep states. Cherishing the sunrise, with the loved ones whom i explore the light of the day, the sunset, with the loved ones who will walk along side or sometimes from ahead guiding the light through the darkness of the night breaking through to daylight (I think I heard lyrics like this from a Coldplay song).
It has now been a month since I've returned to Seattle: back to wandering and exploring this incredible city. I have been remembering the past every day as the future comes into present. The five months of March through July were spent reestablishing "home." The time I was in Phoenix seemed to also whirl by: mostly because I was constantly on the go, sometimes riding here and there on my Raleigh Robinhood [which kinda looks like this
Thanks to homepage.ntlworld.com I couldn't find any pic's with me on my bike!] I was active in being inspired by the creativity that was all around me through the continual production of each of my loved one's current life's art. Working on the ever continual project which I have now come to visibly able to share with my confidants and now the interwebs in the infancy stage of development.
I have been working on lots of projects throughout all of my life, never a dull moment or free time to reset. Most especially during this last year, I have been obsessed with the production of my current project and the present artistic creations. I am continuing on my dream of the past few years, enjoying now that these dreams are somehow coming to a present space. It is almost like I am living in my dream land: as if it is the reality in which I live - does this mean my dreams are coming true?
It was quite the wake up call, being back home. My friends and loved ones, how can I even begin to write my thoughts and the experiences of the past few months to express my gratitude for the hospitality for a weary traveler: a bed, hammock, and pool patio furniture to rest my head under the desert sky. For the companionship along a street wander through downtown, a bike ride, or late night car ride with our mixtape dj lady cab driver.
I had missed the feeling of being loved by my "Phoenix Family" which I was embraced once again by my loved ones back in Phoenix. I am blessed by my family of the phoenix arts community who shared the desert as their roots of being raised in the dry and ever intense sun. We are bound, just like the love of my blood family, to each other in our similar upbringings, the environment which encouraged our curiosity to quest and inspired and our creative flow: the passion of their truest soul.
I went home for my 30th birthday, March 9th I arrived, and the next day I awoke to go run on my favorite mountain of the South Mountains for a birthday grounding in the Vortex of Phoenix. Although I knew people typically place so much attention on the birthday factors, I personally made it a quest for myself to place attention on this day because I was prepared for the changes that needed and are currently are in transition from happening currently. What I set out for experience while in Arizona was not anything I could have planned for, so I just went with what I had to share of my past few years experiences, and the honesty of my complete brokenness and desperate need for my family and friends to remind me of my core. Somewhere, somehow, I had lost the remembrance of my roots: that fire within which the bird Phoenix was thrown and from whence it came, rising from the flames, blackend as a reminder of the experience. I somehow lost my personal passion after the first year which I was here, eeing life through different lenses, but so similar to the ones through which I came here looking at my environment with the eyes of a child, innocent, naive, pure, unjaded by the knowledge of my adult self. Now it seems like I am finding this purpose once again but at the same time, I realized that the experiences of the past few years have actually been teaching me lessons to grow and learn from, essential for my next adventures. I understand growing pains now, stretch marks and scars. They all tell the story of our past into present internal growth which shows on the physical appearance. Sometimes I feel like I haven't changed a bit since the girl who was 15, 15 years ago! I am so grateful for my little sister gave me her hand-me-down orange booty shorts and I put these 'cause I wanted the vitamin D to soak up into my as much skin as much as I could have it. I rode my bike from Columbia City up to Cap Hill, through downtown and around the Hemp Fest madness, over to Ballard Farmer's Market, and magically teleported back home.
This was today's mix from earliest songs to the pre going out on a Monday night. I'm trying to get some work done but keep getting distracted by the music all around me. I have to write the musical messages down and maybe share a video or two....
Lauryn Hill-Adam Lives in Theory
Chrisette Michelle -I Am
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Raheem DeVaughn- The Love Experience
Sly & Robbie - Murder She Wrote
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic
Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad
I loved real, real hard once, But the love wasn't returned. Found out the man I'd die for, He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man And if you've ever been in love, Then you'd understand
What you want might make you cry What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it, If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it, If you just let it
See, I thought this feeling It was all that I had
But how could this be love And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power, I existed for you. But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man. And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
Mad Cobra- Flex
Michael - Billy Jean
She Was More Like A Beauty Queen From A Movie Scene I Said Don't Mind, But What Do You Mean I Am The One Who Will Dance On The Floor In The Round
People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do and Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts. Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love and Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth. So Take My Strong Advice, Just Remember To Always Think Twice. Do think Twice
Anthony Hamilton - do you feel me
Sitting at Vitta tonight for my 8:30 PM cup of joe to wake my mind to creativity and production, I hear these once very influencial pop diva songs of my aspiring
When this album came out - i had a tape and would listen to this in headphones for my lullabyes. talk about early rock "star-child" Sam would call me Starchild when I didn't see myself the way others did, I'm not sure if I even know this starchild inside, but the pieces are starting to make sense as the years go on.
Madonna - Starlight Starlight
It's no wonder that most of the people I spend my time with now are children of the MTV 80's-90's pop culture. Watching Madonna videos was like going to church for our generation's religion. When this video came out, I remember being in a frustrated position from the division of my childhood by not only a divorce, but a loss of the roots in my life which held me to my personal core. I, so to speak, grew up in maturity and lost that innocent glow as young as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, my knowledge of heartache and loss through the transitions of our family, impacted me more than I realize in understanding relationships at an early age. Somehow, the years are reteaching me what it is to have a relationship and who I bring into my life.
Madonna- Like a Prayer
God?
When you call my name, it's like a little Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your Power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing. I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like Flying. I close my eyes, oh God, I think I'm Falling, out of the sky. I close my eyes, Heaven Help me.
Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control just like a child, now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me, it's like a dream. Let the choir sing.
Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like Home.
Riding my bike yesterday through the Central District off of 18th I passed Reverend Ricky Willis's congregation singing praise his words, I first stopped to take a picture of this church, then heard the message he was sharing. Thank you Jesus, I have heard the words.
I remember that my mother went to the En Vogue concert and brought me back a t-shirt. I felt slighted, and offended that I was "too young" to go. I think I knew my sensuality at a very young person. This was just another moment in my growth as a girl into a woman.
Madonna- Rescue Me:
Adele -Chasing Pavements
Whoa I've never seen this video until I heard the song and Utubed it - no wonder that I thought of this song recently as I was walking through the streets of Seattle, "hitting the pavement" for yet another attempt of finding that "dream" career.They are dancing in a groove of trees. Hum, this is another white rabbit if you ask me. ;)
When I moved here nearly 3 years ago in September, I came with my newly acquired paper of degree, a year of exploration of the globe, and years of exploration of my mind, body heart and soul. In search of a new place to lay my head at first, and hopefully my roots through the newly acquired professional life. I told myself I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I wanted to focus on my career, on finding that perfect position in the nonprofit sector. I put off developing the relationships with loved ones for the past 3 years. Because of the time being back with those who know me truest, I have a refreshed understanding of what my focus is at this time in my life.
I keep to my silly girl roots, with a wealth of experience and understanding brought by the loved ones, heartache and the renewal of life through the loss of these loved ones turned into an experience to appreciate. Gotta keep it simple and have fun with my life while I'm living it.
A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum
Erykah Badu - On & ON
Musiq Soulchild - Who Knows
Salt n Peppa-
It's time to go out atain with the roommie - here's another for the diva anthems.
Heading out into the Seattle Supersonic Spaceplayground!
Remembering that I gotta keep my head up, 15 years later in life, still feeling age 15 and reminded by these early roots of hip hop.
The Seattle Summer sun was shining, though as it sometimes is for my days, my morning felt a bit foggy. This week seemed to whirl by me, with lots of confusion: starting with the loss of my phone for since last Thursday up until this Friday, I was back to feeling completely out of communication with the world and most especially I felt the distance from my roots of "home".
Once again, I have left my roots to be in another space in time. Now more than ever I am slowing down to appreciate my current existence, no matter the time nor location within which I stay in that space, I strive to maintain a moment focus in all the activities of my awake and sleep states. Cherishing the sunrise, with the loved ones whom i explore the light of the day, the sunset, with the loved ones who will walk along side or sometimes from ahead guiding the light through the darkness of the night breaking through to daylight (I think I heard lyrics like this from a Coldplay song).
It has now been a month since I've returned to Seattle: back to wandering and exploring this incredible city. I have been remembering the past every day as the future comes into present. The five months of March through July were spent reestablishing "home." The time I was in Phoenix seemed to also whirl by: mostly because I was constantly on the go, sometimes riding here and there on my Raleigh Robinhood [which kinda looks like this
Thanks to homepage.ntlworld.com I couldn't find any pic's with me on my bike!] I was active in being inspired by the creativity that was all around me through the continual production of each of my loved one's current life's art. Working on the ever continual project which I have now come to visibly able to share with my confidants and now the interwebs in the infancy stage of development.
I have been working on lots of projects throughout all of my life, never a dull moment or free time to reset. Most especially during this last year, I have been obsessed with the production of my current project and the present artistic creations. I am continuing on my dream of the past few years, enjoying now that these dreams are somehow coming to a present space. It is almost like I am living in my dream land: as if it is the reality in which I live - does this mean my dreams are coming true?
It was quite the wake up call, being back home. My friends and loved ones, how can I even begin to write my thoughts and the experiences of the past few months to express my gratitude for the hospitality for a weary traveler: a bed, hammock, and pool patio furniture to rest my head under the desert sky. For the companionship along a street wander through downtown, a bike ride, or late night car ride with our mixtape dj lady cab driver.
I had missed the feeling of being loved by my "Phoenix Family" which I was embraced once again by my loved ones back in Phoenix. I am blessed by my family of the phoenix arts community who shared the desert as their roots of being raised in the dry and ever intense sun. We are bound, just like the love of my blood family, to each other in our similar upbringings, the environment which encouraged our curiosity to quest and inspired and our creative flow: the passion of their truest soul.
I went home for my 30th birthday, March 9th I arrived, and the next day I awoke to go run on my favorite mountain of the South Mountains for a birthday grounding in the Vortex of Phoenix. Although I knew people typically place so much attention on the birthday factors, I personally made it a quest for myself to place attention on this day because I was prepared for the changes that needed and are currently are in transition from happening currently. What I set out for experience while in Arizona was not anything I could have planned for, so I just went with what I had to share of my past few years experiences, and the honesty of my complete brokenness and desperate need for my family and friends to remind me of my core. Somewhere, somehow, I had lost the remembrance of my roots: that fire within which the bird Phoenix was thrown and from whence it came, rising from the flames, blackend as a reminder of the experience. I somehow lost my personal passion after the first year which I was here, eeing life through different lenses, but so similar to the ones through which I came here looking at my environment with the eyes of a child, innocent, naive, pure, unjaded by the knowledge of my adult self. Now it seems like I am finding this purpose once again but at the same time, I realized that the experiences of the past few years have actually been teaching me lessons to grow and learn from, essential for my next adventures. I understand growing pains now, stretch marks and scars. They all tell the story of our past into present internal growth which shows on the physical appearance. Sometimes I feel like I haven't changed a bit since the girl who was 15, 15 years ago! I am so grateful for my little sister gave me her hand-me-down orange booty shorts and I put these 'cause I wanted the vitamin D to soak up into my as much skin as much as I could have it. I rode my bike from Columbia City up to Cap Hill, through downtown and around the Hemp Fest madness, over to Ballard Farmer's Market, and magically teleported back home.
This was today's mix from earliest songs to the pre going out on a Monday night. I'm trying to get some work done but keep getting distracted by the music all around me. I have to write the musical messages down and maybe share a video or two....
Lauryn Hill-Adam Lives in Theory
Chrisette Michelle -I Am
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Raheem DeVaughn- The Love Experience
Sly & Robbie - Murder She Wrote
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic
Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad
I loved real, real hard once, But the love wasn't returned. Found out the man I'd die for, He wasn't even concerned
I tried, and I tried, and I tried To keep him in my life
I cried, and I cried, and I cried But I couldn't make it right
But I, I loved the young man And if you've ever been in love, Then you'd understand
What you want might make you cry What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it, If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it, If you just let it
See, I thought this feeling It was all that I had
But how could this be love And make me feel so bad?
Gave up my power, I existed for you. But whoever knew the voodoo you'd do?
But I, I loved the young man. And if you've ever been in love you'd understand
When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad
Why's it feel so good?
Mad Cobra- Flex
Michael - Billy Jean
She Was More Like A Beauty Queen From A Movie Scene I Said Don't Mind, But What Do You Mean I Am The One Who Will Dance On The Floor In The Round
People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do and Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts. Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love and Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth. So Take My Strong Advice, Just Remember To Always Think Twice. Do think Twice
Anthony Hamilton - do you feel me
Sitting at Vitta tonight for my 8:30 PM cup of joe to wake my mind to creativity and production, I hear these once very influencial pop diva songs of my aspiring
When this album came out - i had a tape and would listen to this in headphones for my lullabyes. talk about early rock "star-child" Sam would call me Starchild when I didn't see myself the way others did, I'm not sure if I even know this starchild inside, but the pieces are starting to make sense as the years go on.
Madonna - Starlight Starlight
It's no wonder that most of the people I spend my time with now are children of the MTV 80's-90's pop culture. Watching Madonna videos was like going to church for our generation's religion. When this video came out, I remember being in a frustrated position from the division of my childhood by not only a divorce, but a loss of the roots in my life which held me to my personal core. I, so to speak, grew up in maturity and lost that innocent glow as young as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, my knowledge of heartache and loss through the transitions of our family, impacted me more than I realize in understanding relationships at an early age. Somehow, the years are reteaching me what it is to have a relationship and who I bring into my life.
Madonna- Like a Prayer
God?
When you call my name, it's like a little Prayer. I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your Power.
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing. I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like Flying. I close my eyes, oh God, I think I'm Falling, out of the sky. I close my eyes, Heaven Help me.
Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control just like a child, now I'm dancing. It's like a dream, no end and no beginning. You're here with me, it's like a dream. Let the choir sing.
Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like Home.
Riding my bike yesterday through the Central District off of 18th I passed Reverend Ricky Willis's congregation singing praise his words, I first stopped to take a picture of this church, then heard the message he was sharing. Thank you Jesus, I have heard the words.
I remember that my mother went to the En Vogue concert and brought me back a t-shirt. I felt slighted, and offended that I was "too young" to go. I think I knew my sensuality at a very young person. This was just another moment in my growth as a girl into a woman.
Madonna- Rescue Me:
Adele -Chasing Pavements
Whoa I've never seen this video until I heard the song and Utubed it - no wonder that I thought of this song recently as I was walking through the streets of Seattle, "hitting the pavement" for yet another attempt of finding that "dream" career.They are dancing in a groove of trees. Hum, this is another white rabbit if you ask me. ;)
When I moved here nearly 3 years ago in September, I came with my newly acquired paper of degree, a year of exploration of the globe, and years of exploration of my mind, body heart and soul. In search of a new place to lay my head at first, and hopefully my roots through the newly acquired professional life. I told myself I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I wanted to focus on my career, on finding that perfect position in the nonprofit sector. I put off developing the relationships with loved ones for the past 3 years. Because of the time being back with those who know me truest, I have a refreshed understanding of what my focus is at this time in my life.
I keep to my silly girl roots, with a wealth of experience and understanding brought by the loved ones, heartache and the renewal of life through the loss of these loved ones turned into an experience to appreciate. Gotta keep it simple and have fun with my life while I'm living it.
A Tribe Called Quest - Bonita Applebum
Erykah Badu - On & ON
Musiq Soulchild - Who Knows
Salt n Peppa-
It's time to go out atain with the roommie - here's another for the diva anthems.
Heading out into the Seattle Supersonic Spaceplayground!
Remembering that I gotta keep my head up, 15 years later in life, still feeling age 15 and reminded by these early roots of hip hop.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Robots
Attempting to stay focused while my loaner Toshiba reminds me that it's been a couple years since the last computer meltdown and Now is the time to uP grade! Oh robots how you rule our lives!!
A little Flaming Lips to sooth my technological troubles,a fittin Sherm song over the cafe's airwaves.
Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body
'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
A little Flaming Lips to sooth my technological troubles,a fittin Sherm song over the cafe's airwaves.
Her name is Yoshimi
she's a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body
'Cause she knows that
it's demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Those evil-natured robots
they're programmed to destroy us
she's gotta be strong to fight them
so she's taking lots of vitamins
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots defeat me
Oh Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don't believe me
but you won't let those robots eat me
Yoshimi
Monday, August 1, 2011
summer adventures with my daddy
Blowing Dandelions with my nephew Koston last summer was the highlight of my summer. Simple things in life ;)
That's me sad face blowing dandelions found off the road during an adventure with my daddy and the mad man via Utah country backroads
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sherm songs
As I ordered my Americano to sit for a while at Fremont Coffee Company, on this rainy day July 17th, the first few words that came across the speakers brought streams of tears down my cheeks. These songs came across radio waves today, I call them my Sherm Songs.
Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.
I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.
Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.
This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.
I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.
When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.
Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.
But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.
Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.
If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.
I guess we'll just have to adjust.
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.
You'd better look out below.
Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.
I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.
So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.
Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.
I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.
As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.
Soul
Soul Mates.
Soul Travelers.
I awoke to the drizzle and grey skies to mourn the passing of my dearest soul mate, Sherm. 2 years ago yesterday he was on this earth, dying from a cancer which took his life 2 years ago today.
Sherman and I had a most interesting relationship most people don't understand because when it comes to men and women, most people don't know how to be friends, and they think that a romantic relationship is the only interaction between people that are attracted to each other. I learned that I could have a friendship with a man that was based on unconditional love and support, not sex. With this man, our friendship expanded lifetimes, that I'm sure I was a soulful sista of Chicago or New York sharing my former life with him, and perhaps we were lovers then. We would joke that he was Louis the XVI and I Marie Antoinette, perhaps we were executed together Jan, 17th, 1793. Whatever our past, there was some unfinished karma which we needed to share in this lifetime. He needed my care during his bout with cancer, and in the last days as I was with him while his body was finally letting go of strength to continue on, he just wanted me to hold his hand. The morning he passed, I awoke beside him, his left hand stiff in the shape of having held mine throughout the last moments of his life.
This day brought lots of surprises and wanderings around the city, for me to stay focused is a difficult thing, most especially when I am thinking about him. I am grateful for my friends who have comforted me along this path, during the past few years which have been a struggle to even continue on sometimes with the sadness that I feel from the loss of a loved one.
I am letting go slowly of sadness of the loss of loved ones past by appreciating all that they shared with me, all the life lessons, sweet moments of enjoying the pleasures of this life, and the shared support and care that only our truest of friends offer. My love for others is unconditional, it is everlasting. I have learned about love through many soul mates, Sherman shared so many gifts with me throughout our time together though his unconditional love was unquestionably the most special gift I received.
When he left this earth, I just shut down through disassociation and distractions of working and living alone in a city far away from my loved ones who knew me best, and I just went through the mourning alone. Eventually, I knew I couldn't be alone any longer, and I have gone back home numerous times during the past two years to help me get through this difficult time. I am grateful for the past few months surrounded and supported again by my dearest friends.
Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin',someone told me not to cry.
But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie.
Children wake up,hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust.
If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to
rust.
I guess we'll just have to adjust.
With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.
You'd better look out below.
Sherman never had a funeral. Perhaps because of this, he is still with me. I don't know, nor do I understand, though I am forever blessed that he cares to be with me now.
I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes when I talk to people about the songs that I hear at random times and spaces. They are more than coincidental. I know Sherman speaks to me through the thin distance between the physical and the spiritual. It would only be fitting that this man who loved life through his experiences with music, would continue to share songs of love with me now, reminding me that he is always with me.
So for all you who thought I was nutty, I hope this post only confirms that to you, but for those of you who have lost a loved one, and feel the presence of spirit in our lives, I hope that you feel comfort knowing that you are not alone when you feel the the tingles on your back, when you are being guided to make decisions of where to travel down the street, or when you need a reminder that life is beautiful and worth sharing beauty with all.
Past, present, future. It is all the same when we share the space with our soul mates who have shared the past lives, the present lives and perhaps the future.
I miss you Sherm. Thank you for all you have done for me in my life, for all that I have gained as a person through our many shared moments together. May I continue to share your love for music, food, travel and all that you influenced me to be and do which makes me who I am today.
As I play this song on my piano from time to time, I still cannot play without crying tears because I wish that you could be right there listing to me play as you had before. I know you are always with me.
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